My TR Art Contest Entry

Below is my entry in the latest Topless Robot contest. Despite a lack of toplessness, I call it "Topless Legacy 3D."



And yes, I do realize that it's not much of a likeness of Olivia Wilde at all, but I didn't really work with any sort of reference image, so get off my back. Besides, I have proven that I can draw Olivia Wilde.

Goddamn, Batman

Throughout the years fans and industry insiders have pointed to All Star Batman and Robin the Boy Wonder (or "ASBAR" as it's usually referred to) and its assorted eccentricities and excesses as evidence that comic book icon Frank Miller has lost his damn mind.
They also point to The Spirit, the movie that marked his debut as a solo director, as further evidence. While I'm one of maybe six people in the world who actually enjoyed The Spirit, and I haven't read all of ASBAR, I can kind of see their point.
After all, ASBAR gave the world the goddamn Batman:

(Speaking to the recently-orphaned Dick Grayson, whom
Batman has abducted from the scene of the murder of Dick's parents - saving him
from the corrupt cops who were going to finish wiping out the family by killing
the future Robin - who has asked Batman who he is)
"What, are you dense? Are you retarded or something? Who the hell do you think I am? I'm the goddamn Batman."

Like many fans, I initially found this off-putting and thought ASBAR was...err...bat-shit insane, but in time I came to appreciate the insanity, on some level, and eventually became greatly amused by the goddamn Batman.
Today, while reading Fan Fiction Friday over at Topless Robot, I encountered a bit of dialogue that makes Frank Miller and all of his insanity seem completely and totally sane by comparison.
The dialogue in question comes from a fan-written story featuring spelling and grammar so atrocious that I have to assume that English is the "author's" seventh language, which posits a team-up between Batman and Robocop.
And by "team-up" I mean Batman and Robocop fucking.
Each other.
By the way, it's worth noting that Miller's first attempt at breaking into Hollywood was writing the screenplay for Robocop 2, which was pretty much torn to shreds and resulted in the finished prodcut bearing little or no resemblance to what he actually wrote, which left Miller wary of dealing with Hollywood again until Robert Rodriguez came along and more or less courted him.
And speaking of courting...
In the course of their "adventure" together, Robocop learns Batman's secret identity. While Robocop himself can be counted on to keep it to himself, everything he sees and hears is recorded, and when he returns to the precinct his memories will be downloaded and reviewed.
So they need to remove those memories from Robocop before that can happen.
Which leads us to this:

"I need to fuck you Batman. This way, my memories backup is ejected from my butt
and we can delete what is important to preserve your identity."

Somehow that makes Batman calling a traumatized boy who's just seen his parents die retarded and referring to himself as the goddamn Batman seem downright reasonable and even wholesome.

Update: Also, this:

"There is a problem Bruce. I'm not with my penis now. I can't fuck you."

MY RESPONSIBLE THIS

There's so much that's come out of the whole WHOSE RESPONSIBLE THIS thing that's meme-worthy, such as the assorted additional incohrent responses that have come from Brickehousebunny21 in reaction to his Internet fame.
For example, there's the threat of "banning us for life" from...something (The furry fan fiction site his story was posted on? The Internet?), that he recently made over at Topless Robot:

Everyone here is in trouble now, I just sent a message to a site mod from
Yiffstar and if this site doesn't delete all traces of this story or if anyone
here doesn't get rid of this little joke they've made out of this story in three
days, everyone here will be banned for life just like I've warned everyone else
here like before, don't bother trying to lie to the site mods to save your own
skins because the site mods are on my side and there's nothing you can do about
it, they've already found out who Rob Bricken is and they're on my side as we
speak, they agreed in three days time everyone here will be banned if the big
boss behind all this doesn't get rid of all traces of this little joke they've
posted, this is your last warning, I've warned you all but you didn't listen,
deleting any evidance won't do you any good either, I've shown every piece of
evidance to the site mods and it's all over for everyone here and Rob Bricken,
if everyone here doesn't follow the warning and get rid of this in three days,
than judgement day will come for everyone here and Rob Bricken, even if you had
nothing to do with it, I don't care and the mods agree with me, you have three
days and if this isn't gone when I get back, the mods will ban everyone here,
even making all the bad comments won't do you any good. You all have three days
or else.

You go, Brickehousebunny21. You'll get us all banned someday. That'll show us all that we responsible this.
In any case, so many people have put together great images based on his initial rant, and I'm a bit late to the party, so I decided to focus on one of the more charming misspellings from his most recent response.
Thus, I present to you The Evidance:

WHOSE RESPONSIBLE THIS

Just doing my part to ensure the propagation of the following meme:

WHOSE RESPONSIBLE THIS

Oh Yeah...

Last week I posted a drawing I did of the awesome and tragically hilarious moment when a young fan attempted to pass a rose to actress Megan Fox while she was in London for the premiere of Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.
Since that time, Ms. Fox publicly apologized to the kid, saying that, in the confusion of being rushed through the crowd and all of the camera flashes, she had no idea what was going on, or just how young the kid was, and stated that, should she see him again, she would happily accept a rose from him.
Kodak offered a $5,000 reward to anyone who could identify the kid for the purposes of staging a perfect photo opportunity.
As can bee seen in this Topless Robot post, the kid has been located and was flown - by Kodak - to the US to get his chance to hand Ms. Fox a rose.
So the awesomeness just keeeps ramping up on this.
Also found via Topless Robot, this video is no longer accurate, but is still pretty funny:




Also, it's worth noting that yellow roses generally indicate friendship, not romance, so I guess the fact that he's 11 doesn't present any sort of dificulty, as it wasn't necessarily a romantic gesture. Even so, if I were that kid, I would have been sure to step up my game and go with red. Not sure I'd go with more than one, though; the single red rose is a nice touch, I think.
Anyway, good for you, salmon-colored shirt kid!

Holy Dammit Christmas

Alan Moore, reading excerpts from Watchmen (specifically, portions of Rorschach's Journal, and the section in which Rorschach explains how he stopped "pretending" to be Rorschach and actually became Rorschach):



(Found via Topless Robot)

Quick Shots

Pin-Up Queen Bettie Page dead at 85
This made me sad, if for no other reason than that she served as the inspiration for so much beautiful artwork by so many talented artists. One of those talented artists was the late and much-lamented Dave Stevens, whose comic, The Rocketeer, featured a character based on Ms. Page. There's a brief mention of The Rocketeer in the Reuters obituary linked above, but no mention of the fact that Dave Stevens was, in her later life, after her re-emergence from anonymity, her friend and sometime caretaker, and did what he could to help her get her fair share of the money others had made off of her image. Mark Evanier's blog, which is really the place to go for obituaries - among many other things; I realize it seems like a back-handed compliment, but the obits generally are more informative, and often much more personal - has a few interesting anecdotes about Stevens' relationship with the legendary pin-up.
The movie based on her life - The Notorious Bettie Page - was fun and entertaining, and it featured an often-nude Gretchen Mol, in the title role, which is never a bad thing. I remain eternally grateful that the producers passed on Liv Tyler, who was at one time reported to be up for the role.

Thunder! Thunder! Thundercats H0000....ly Shit! WTF????
One of the features of the site Topless Robot is Fan Fiction Friday (FFF), in which TR culls the Web for some of the weirdest and most twisted fan-written fiction that can be found. And trust me, there has been some really weird stuff featured, but I think the latest featured bit of fan work is by far the strangest I've seen, and that's including the Harry Potter/Dragonball Z mpreg slash fiction. I can't even begin to explain it, so I recommend that you see for yourself.
People tell me that there actually is decent, well-written, and non-bug fuck insane fan fiction to be found on the Web, and I'm sure that's true, but even if I were interested in finding it, I don't think my soul could take wading through the rest of it to do so. Just the snippets I read in FFF is doing enough damage to it, thanks.

New Watchmen International Trailer
This seems vaguely spoilery to me, but I'm not sure that it actually is unless you're familiar with the comic, in which case you already know what's going to happen, so...
In any case, it certainly is nice to look at, and, however reluctantly, I find myself getting more and more excited about the movie.



Bonus: Footage shown at the San Diego Comic-Con:

So Hard To Limit It To Ten

Topless Robot gives us The 10 Most Awesomely Insane Jack Chick Mini-Comics

There are other tracts that I would have chosen for this list, but it is a good representative sample.

Threshold Departments

I’m far too lazy to write up a proper post today, so instead I present you with these assorted Threshold Departments:

You’re Going To Hell Department:
Hairdresser turned evangelist, convicted pederast, and fugitive from justice Jonathan Bell wants you to know that he’s NOT AN EXTREMIST!





(Kevin? Is he talking to you?)

Show Your Tits…I Mean, Stand Up For Your Rights Department:
This is a movement I can get behind, or rather, in front of: Bare Your Breasts on “Go Topless Day” This Saturday!
Ladies, show your support for breasts by taking off your breasts’ support and showing your breasts!

I…But…I Can’t…I Don’t Understand…Huh? Department:
Watch the video featured in this Topless Robot post, which I think may very well be some sort of Zen Koan, then contemplate the sound of one hand clapping.

I’ll Put That Burning The Surface Of The Entire Planet In The “Maybe” Column Department:
I find myself mostly in agreement with the comment listed below from an io9 post on the news that Sam Raimi and Tom Cruise are working to bring an adaptation of the Ed Brubaker comic Sleeper to the big screen:

People, if Tom Cruise plays Tao, all will be right with the world. Be at peace.
If he somehow ends up playing Holden, however, let us unite and burn the surface of the entire planet.

For the record, there’s only one reason to not read Sleeper: you hate things that are awesome.

Special Bonus Department:
I give you Keyword Kraziness: No Kommentary Edition:

shower enclosure simpleton
sexy vacation solution
meaning society net neutrality ninja alien hulk
goat herders band
charlies theron untidy & lazy at home?
dainty penmanship

A Funny Reminder And Some Nonsense

On its own, the image of actress Hayden Panettiere taken at the most recent San Diego Comic-Con, featured at Topless Robot pretty much says it all, but the added text does amplify the point.
By way of presenting a balanced view, there's this article at Wired listing The 10 Real Reasons Why Geeks Make Better Lovers.
I'm thinking the Topless Robot bit has greater veracity.