I Wonder If She Wants The Cereal?

As mentioned in earlier posts, I filed my taxes about two weeks ago, and had, in under a week, already gotten – and spent – my VA refund, and I was eagerly awaiting my Federal refund.
Given that I’ve found that it typically takes a week at most for me to get it, I was anticipating its arrival shortly after the VA refund.
Unfortunately, I got an e-mail informing me that the IRS was reporting a delay in processing of refunds, so it would take slightly longer than usual.  When I checked the “Where’s my refund?” page on the IRS site, it informed me that I would get my refund “by the 7th.”
It had been my intention to take a day off from work once I had the money in order to make a Costco run and stock up on those things which Costco is useful to me for stocking up on, which, honestly, isn’t a lot, but still ends up costing considerably more than a standard trip to the grocery store does.
So, in the parlance of the Internet, I was disappoint.
After all, I had hoped to schedule my day off in such a way as to give myself a long weekend by taking either a Friday or a Monday off.
That wouldn’t work, without additional waiting, if I wasn’t going to have the money until Tuesday.
With hope in my heart, I checked the IRS page again yesterday afternoon and found that the date had become more specific, stating that it was scheduled to be deposited in my account on February 6th.
Hooray!  I could take Monday off!
However, there still remained a problem in the form of my spending my entire VA refund so long before getting my Federal, which left me with a minimal amount of available funds until then unless I moved some scheduled bill payments around a little.  Which isn’t to say that I’d be paying bills late, just later than originally planned, which would give me some breathing room until Monday.
On any other weekend I would have been fine just waiting to do my shopping on Monday, but…well, the Super Bowl is tomorrow, and it’s become something of an annual tradition for me to do my grocery shopping while everyone else in the world is watching the big sweaty mens playing with a ball on their TVs and I can move through the aisles of the stores as though I’m living in a post-Rapture world free of crying children and slow-moving old people.
It is, quite frankly, one of my favorite days of the year.  It’s like I’m living in the world of Night of the Comet or I Am Legend, only without the homicidal zombie mutants chasing after me.  (The zombie mutants are what I contend with every other day of the year.)
So I couldn’t not go shopping on Sunday night.  The whole experience means more to me than Christmas.
So I shuffled things around and had to hope that the IRS was as good as its word and that the money would be there on Monday, or, barring that, no later than Wednesday.
I got up this morning intending to do my usual Saturday stuff, with the nagging question of “What if the money doesn’t come in until, say, Friday?  I should just hold off on buying anything until I know for sure that it’s there.”
With that in mind, for the sheer hell of it, I logged into my bank’s mobile site on my phone to check my balance.  The tiny text on the screen was hard to read, but it was immediately apparent that the first number in my balance wasn’t the same as it was yesterday, or the number that I was actually expecting.  A quick zoom showed that it was, however, the number it would be if my refund had been deposited.  Checking recent transactions confirmed that this was the case.
Yay!
So, unburdened by any financial concerns, I headed out to pick up my comics and a few other things to tide me over until I could do the serious, no hordes of mutant zombies shopping on Sunday and Monday.
Some time back I discovered that, ironically enough, the best price for cigarettes can be found at CVS Pharmacy.  Unfortunately, others have discovered that as well, so they’re frequently out of stock of my cigarettes.  Today, when I went, as I do every week, to the CVS in the same plaza as the comic shop I found that their cigarette shelves had been heavily raided, so I decided that I’d stop somewhere and get a pack or two and then pick up more tomorrow or Monday.
After that I stopped at Best Buy to look at Bluetooth keyboards for my slate, as I had been mistaken when I read that the slate came with the dock and the keyboard, and to pick up a MicroSD card to add to the slate’s overall storage.
I ended up buying neither, opting instead to just order the actual Samsung keyboard for it online at some point, and finding that they didn’t have any 32 GB MicroSD cards, which is what I was looking for.  I did pick up a cheap, low-profile flash drive for it, however.
In any case, I went from Best Buy over to the nearby Giant (a grocery store) and picked up a few things, then stopped at the unattended service counter – I’ve never seen service counters at stores unattended as often as I do in VA in any of the other places I’ve lived – and waited for someone to show up to sell me cigarettes.
While I was waiting, I could hear some woman at the registers very loudly repeating, “How much is the cereal?  I want the cereal.  How much is the cereal?  I want the cereal.”
She was stuck on that loop for a solid two minutes, before moving on to asking how much the Coke was, and stating that she wanted that as well, periodically reiterating that she wanted the cereal.
From what I could gather, based on her loud, undirected rant, her EBT card (the 21st Century version of food stamps) had not been activated/loaded on February 1st, as it was supposed to have been.
”It was supposed to be activated on February 1st!  It’s February 4th!  That’s terrible!  It was supposed to be activated on February 1st!  It’s February 4th!  Well, I got the cereal.  I wanted the cereal.  And the Coke.  But it was supposed to be activated on February 1st!  It’s February 4th!”
I’m not kidding.  She went on like this non-stop, to, apparently, no one, or to the uncaring Universe.
Or possibly to all of her fellow shoppers within earshot – which covered a fair distance, honestly – who were equally uncaring, or at the very least were completely incapable of doing anything to resolve her issue.  Even if we did care, or were able to do something about it, we pretty much would have gotten the message after the first twenty repetitions.
I will not deny that it must be frustrating to discover that you don’t have the ability to buy the things you need after you’ve walked into a store and made it all the way to the checkout fully expecting to be able to do so – after all, I had been, more or less, in the same boat earlier in the day – and I sympathize, particularly given that she was accompanied by someone in a wheelchair (I assume the EBT card, if that’s what was supposed to have been activated on February 1st – bearing in mind that today is February 4th, in case you forgot – was part of her companion’s disability benefits) but it was pretty seriously annoying, and is a good representative example of why I enjoy my Super Bowl shopping experience so very much.
Still, at least she got the cereal.
I’m just not sure she really wanted it.

****

Despite the influx of funds, I didn’t really end up spending any more money than usual today.  Actually, I spent a bit less, since I didn’t buy a carton of cigarettes.  Even the extra purchase of the flash drive for the slate didn’t amount to much, as it was relatively inexpensive.
Monday, however, will be a different matter entirely, since I never walk out of Costco without having spent, at a minimum, $100.

****

(Note: Our boss refers to my co-worker and I as brothers.)
Boss:  I’m worried about your brother.
Me:  Why?
Boss:  He’s getting jaded.
Me:  Tell him to join the club.
Boss:  I know.  That’s the problem.  You’re jaded, and I’m jaded…I can’t deal with all of us being jaded.
****
Boss:  So I’m getting one of the high school interns dumped on me.
Me:  You mean I’m getting one of the high school interns dumped on me.
Boss:  …yeah.
Me:  I knew that was going to happen as soon as I heard there were going to be interns, because I’m fucking psychic.
Boss:  Well, I thought about giving him to your brother…
Me:  What’s he going to do with an intern?
Boss:  I don’t know.  Stop being mean to me.  You’re going to make me cry.
Me:  No I’m not.
Boss:  Yes you are.
Me:  No, you’re going to make you cry.
Me:  *Sigh*  Fine, I’ll try to to think of something for him to do.  When does he start.
Boss:  He started already, but he’s already working on some other stuff.  You probably won’t have to do anything with him until next week, so you’ve got time to come up with some projects for him.

****

(The next day)
Boss:  So here’s the intern.  Find something for him to do.

****

Me:  I thought I had time to come up with something for the intern to do, but he got dumped on me this morning.  So I spent an hour and a half explaining what our team does and watching him struggle to stay awake.
Scott:  Well, he’ll take away one thing from the internship:  the knowledge of what he doesn’t want to do with his life.

****

Me:  I didn’t realize I was getting him today.
Boss:  Yeah, sorry.
Me:  He’s so young.
Boss:  I know!  It’s crazy.
Me:  He’s not even a baby.  He’s a…pre-baby.  He’s a zygote.

****

I’m currently reading Criminal:  The Last of the Innocent by Ed Brubaker and Sean Phillips.  I now understand why it made so many “Best of” lists last year.
Not that this comes as any surprise to me, because Ed Brubaker.  And even more to the point, because Ed Brubaker and Sean Phillips.

Threshold Departments

I’m far too lazy to write up a proper post today, so instead I present you with these assorted Threshold Departments:

You’re Going To Hell Department:
Hairdresser turned evangelist, convicted pederast, and fugitive from justice Jonathan Bell wants you to know that he’s NOT AN EXTREMIST!





(Kevin? Is he talking to you?)

Show Your Tits…I Mean, Stand Up For Your Rights Department:
This is a movement I can get behind, or rather, in front of: Bare Your Breasts on “Go Topless Day” This Saturday!
Ladies, show your support for breasts by taking off your breasts’ support and showing your breasts!

I…But…I Can’t…I Don’t Understand…Huh? Department:
Watch the video featured in this Topless Robot post, which I think may very well be some sort of Zen Koan, then contemplate the sound of one hand clapping.

I’ll Put That Burning The Surface Of The Entire Planet In The “Maybe” Column Department:
I find myself mostly in agreement with the comment listed below from an io9 post on the news that Sam Raimi and Tom Cruise are working to bring an adaptation of the Ed Brubaker comic Sleeper to the big screen:

People, if Tom Cruise plays Tao, all will be right with the world. Be at peace.
If he somehow ends up playing Holden, however, let us unite and burn the surface of the entire planet.

For the record, there’s only one reason to not read Sleeper: you hate things that are awesome.

Special Bonus Department:
I give you Keyword Kraziness: No Kommentary Edition:

shower enclosure simpleton
sexy vacation solution
meaning society net neutrality ninja alien hulk
goat herders band
charlies theron untidy & lazy at home?
dainty penmanship

Crazy Money-Spending Fool

I got a call this morning telling me that my taxes were ready to be sent out and that I had to stop in to pay for them and sign some stuff, so I sat around for a bit, showered, dressed, drove over to H&R Block, paid for them ($161…yikes. Good thing I’m getting a lot of money in my refund.), then headed off to Wal-Mart.
While there I randomly saw the DVD for one of my all-time favorite movies, Night of the Comet, for like $10, so I grabbed it.
For those unfamiliar, Comet tells the story of the night the greater part of humanity is whipped out by some substance contained inside the tail of a passing comet. There are a few survivors who came through unscathed, while some others have turned into flesh-eating zombies.
It’s a low-budget, totally 80s cheesefest, but that’s pretty much its charm. It doesn’t take itself too seriously and honestly has some great gags.
(FYI, I just noticed in its IMDb entry that it will be airing on The Movie Channel tomorrow morning at 7:30)
Back when the movie came out I was completely in love with its star, Canadian actress Catherine Mary Stewart.
My love for her, which started with her role in The Last Starfighter – another one of those favorite movies that I ought to own but don’t – has led me to sit through a lot of painfully bad movies just because she was in them, but Comet is not one of those. Not only is CMS hot, the movie is actually enjoyable, so bonus.
Speaking of movies I love but don’t own, while I was there I saw The Princess Bride on DVD for $7.50, so I picked that one up as well, and now it no longer falls into the love but don’t own category.
(Along with the aforementioned Last Starfighter, that category pretty much consists of The Crow – which I once owned – though maybe I should consider adding some of those “powerless to do anything but watch” movies I’ve mentioned, like Strange Days or Real Genius.)
From Wal-Mart I went on to Best Buy, where I was going to pick up Season 1 of Justice League Unlimited. I grabbed it, but then realized that I’d grabbed Season 1 of Justice League, which is different, and which I’ve been reluctant to buy because I thought that buying Justice League would be a big, multi-season purchase, as opposed to JLU, which was just two seasons. In any case, they didn’t have Season 1 of JLU, so I took my leave and headed to the comic books store in Herndon.
Where I dropped $86.
On comic books.
And that’s just comic books. No boxes or bags. No hardcover collections or trades. Just a stack of regular comics.
In fact, it was only 25 comic books.
I remember the first time I ever went to a comic book store, probably like 21 years ago. I spent $20 and bought way more comics than I did today, plus a couple of posters.
For the record, that first trip to a comic book store was a magical experience for young Jon. I mean, I knew that such places existed, but for me they were still sort of semi-mythical, places that only existed in stories.
Atlantis. Avalon. Hy-Brasil. Stores that just sell comic books.
It’s been a long time since I was last in a proper comic book store (or sine I viewed them as being magical places). One thing that struck me as I walked into this one today was the smell. I’d forgotten about the smell.
No, I’m not talking about the sweaty goatlike smell of the overweight and virginal staff and customers, I’m talking about the smell of comics.
For me, it’s a familiar, comforting smell, like the smell of a new car, or the inside of a leather store (I frequently go into Wilsons at the Dulles Town Center to just breathe in the smell of leather, then get out before I become too tempted to spend a lot of money on jackets and coats that I don’t need.).
In a month the store will actually be moving closer to Leesburg, which is excellent timing considering that it coincides with my plans to get back into regular comic book purchasing.
(Sucks for Scott, though. Still, that’s what you get for living in Manassas.)
For any of you wondering what I bought, here’s the list:

The Authority 1-2
Birds of Prey 102-104
The Brave & The Bold 1 -2
Daredevil 92-94
JSA 1-4
The Eternals 1-7
Welcome to Tranquility 1-4

There are some books that I plan to get caught up on by picking up the trades and then I might start buying the monthly books. Books like Fables.
I might also pick my Superman habit back up, but I haven’t been terribly impressed by anything I’ve seen there. I might buy the trade of Grant Morrison’s All-Star Superman, and then start picking up the regular books as they come out. We’ll see.
Not looking to add much from Marvel. I really can’t see myself getting back into buying X-Men, even with Ed Brubaker writing.
(Note that there were two Gail Simone titles in what I picked up today: Birds of Prey and Welcome to Tranquility. )
After that bit of splurging I stopped at the Best Buy in Leesburg on my way home to see if they had Season one of JLU. They did, and were selling Season 1 and 2 of JL for the same price, so I just said, “Screw it,” and bought those, too.
(Turns out there were only two seasons of JL, so I have the complete JL and JLU now.)
All told, not counting what I paid for getting my taxes done, I dropped around $200 today.
(Of course, that includes non-comics or DVD-related stuff like toilet paper and various other sundries.)
Anyway, that was my big day of spending money. There’s not likely to be a repeat of it anytime soon, as the refund is going straight into my savings account.
That’s too funny; just as I wrote that I got an e-mail from my bank telling me that I should put my refund into my savings account.
In any case, I’ve got some comic reading and DVD watching to do before getting ready for my workweek.

That Kicks Ass

The movie 300, which is based on the graphic novel of the same name by Frank Miller (which is in turn based on historical events) opens in theaters on Friday.
On Monday I'll be seeing it.
I will no doubt be seeing it alone, as I can't imagine Brian wanting to see it (among other reasons, it is, after all, based on a comic book), and Scott's principles don't allow him to see rated R movies, so he can't see it (Even though he wants to. See what having principles gets you?), so that leaves me.
Anyway, here's a very cool (and violent - it is based on Frank Miller's work after all):



I like the approach they've taken. They haven't gone quite the Sin City route in attempting to bring Frank's vision to life, but they have definitely given it a Frank Miller feel. Love the way the blood looks - that is definitely like something straight out of Frank's comics.
In his recent works, Frank has kind of gone over the top (even for him), and seems almost to be parodying himself. The Dark Knight Strikes Again was almost like him taking a whiz on the masterpiece that it served as a sequel to - the classic The Dark Knight Returns.
And of course the less said about All-Star Batman and Robin the better (Though to say something about it, in one scene, Batman says to a traumatized young Dick Grayson, whose parents just died in front of his eyes, and whom Batman has actually kidnapped and is taking back to the Cave - a process that takes like three entire issues, which, thanks to its shipping schedule, amounts to about six months, "What are you dense? Are you retarded or something? Who the hell do you think I am? I'm the goddamn Batman.")
Still, Frank remains a comics master and was well on his way to single-handedly changing the face of American comics forever even before the British Invasion came along and helped him do it.
I recently had the distinct pleasure of reading (and in many cases re-reading) some of Frank's early work on Daredevil. Bear in mind that this was material from nearly 30 years ago, and that in most cases going back and trying to read comics from that period is a daunting prospect given how bad the dialogue will often be and just how simplistic the storylines are, especially in contrast to today's more "mature" comics. Reading old comics can cause so much pain as to send you spiralling into a coma.
Not so the work of Frank "The Tank" Miller - as Dave of Dave's Longbox is trying to get people to refer to him. Make some minor tweaks to the slang used, and update some of the fashions, and you could very easily put those books on the rack alongside the best work of guys like Ed Brubaker (and in front of the works of guys like Brian Michael Bendis).
Timeless, would probably be the best word, though, visionary works just as well, which is why it's only fitting that the collection of those Daredevil stories was in a book called Visionaries. When it comes to Frank, they weren't kidding.
So yeah, I can forgive him some of his recent foibles, and I will happily stand in line to see his vision on the big screen in 300.
I'll also wait impatiently for the next Sin City movie.
The movie was initially delayed by the pregnancy of Angelina Jolie who was going to play the titular (in more ways than one) role of Ava Lord in the segment A Dame To Kill For.
She was a good choice, and would have been worth the wait, but as it stands now, Angelina will not be filling that role, so they have to find a new Ava.
I've seen speculation that the part will be played by Rachel Weisz. I like her, but I don't think she's right for the part.
So now I will go on record and say that there is only one actress who can do the role justice: Scarlett Johansson.
I don't even have to go into the reasons why she's perfect for the role because they are self-evident.
So if you're reading this Robert Rodriguez (as if), get to work on casting her .
And Scarlett, if you're reading this (I think my chances of winning the lottery are better than the chances that she reads this blog, and I don't even play the lottery), go to Rodriguez and demand the part. You've said on the record that you're ready and willing to do a nude scene, so here's your chance to deliver on that promise.
(And for the record, there's always a lot of talk about nude scenes being "integral" to the story. That's very seldom the case - though I very seldom complain about it - but in this case, it really, really is integral. You need to have that scene of Ava standing there naked, exposed in her magnificence and revealing why she really is a woman that men would, have, and do, kill for.)
Beyond that, Ava is a complex and interesting character, and I suspect she would be a lot of fun to play.
So now, Mr. Rodriguez and Ms. Johansson, go forth and do my bidding!
(Oh, and on the topic of Daredevil and Ed Brubaker, I want to say thanks to Ed for, first of all, being Ed and just generally doing great work, and second for swooping in and cleaning up the mess that Bendis made during his Daredevil run, and for writing one of the best single issues of a comic that I've read in a long time.)
Anyway, the point of this whole thing was mostly just to show off the 300 clip, but I kind of got carried away. Oh well.