Underappreciated

VP:  Somebody or other possibly wants you to maybe do something.  Maybe. (Note:  I’m paraphrasing, but what he actually said wasn’t much more specific than that.)
Me:  Umm, okay…

After some extensive investigation, I finally figured out the who and the what, and met with my VP to provide something of an update.

Me:  By the way, maybe I’m being unreasonable, but I don’t feel like I should have to crack the Da Vinci Code just to figure out what someone is asking me to do.  I mean, I’m trying to work in operations support here, not prevent the Riddler from robbing a bank.
VP:  Well, some of that was my fault…(continues on apologetically explaining the weird office politics of the situation)
Me:  (Thinking)  You’re not even going to crack a smile?  Come on; that was funny.  I worked in a reference to the Riddler for…*okay*

TL; DR:  My VP doesn’t appreciate my sarcasm as much as the (former) boss lady did.*

*And does.  I texted her to tell her about the exchange and she said it made her day.

Disapproval Feedback Loop

(During a meeting)

VP:  So can we show the value in having done this?  What will it drive?
Director:  The value of having an accurate CMDB (Configuration Management Database)?  It's essential to the functions of many different systems.
VP:  But what metrics will it affect?
Director:  Well...none, directly, but...
VP:  How can we show this wasn't a wasted effort?
Director:  Well, it's ensured that we had an accurate CMDB.
VP:  But what does that do?
Director:  I don't...it...we have to have an accurate CMDB.  You can't show a direct connection to any performance metrics, but the impact is there, and -
Metrics Guy:  Maybe there is no value in it, and -
Me:  Wait.  Are you seriously suggesting that no one would be able to see the inherent value in having an accurate CMDB?  That we have to prove that accuracy in the database of record for all of the devices in our network is important?
VP:  Well, yes, because -
Me:  ಠ_ಠ
Metrics Guy:  So it may not have been a valuable use of time.
Me:  ಠ_ಠ
Various:  (Continued discussion about the lack of value in ensuring that our CMDB is accurate)
Me:  ಠ_ಠ
Me:  ಠ_ಠ
Me:  ಠ_ಠ
Me:  ಠ_ಠ
Me:  ಠ_ಠ  

There Is No “Maybe”

I have to admit that I’ve never really understood how the heart became associated with emotions.
I mean, given how common head injuries likely were throughout the ages, it shouldn’t have been difficult for people to figure out that the brain was where all of the thoughts and feelings were taking place.

Caveman One:  Thog not same since kicked in head by mastodon on last hunt.
Caveman Two:  Is true.  Him used to be happy.  Always singing hunting song of ancestors and smiling and showing his three good teeth.  Now him moody, distant, and quiet.
Caveman One:  Thog heart must be broken.
Caveman Two:  Must be.
Caveman Two:  …wait, what?

Anyway, setting aside what seems to me as the obvious trauma-related physiological observations, the other reason that I’ve never understood the notion of the heart as the seat of emotions is the fact that I tend to feel all of mine in my stomach.
Then again, maybe I’m just weird (See also:  The title of this post).
Still, the point of all of this is that yesterday, as I walked out of work with the (no longer) boss for the last time, I can’t say that I was heartbroken, but I was definitely stomachbroken.

****

After she put in her two weeks’ notice, our VP decided to get every last bit of work out of the boss that he could, so while she came in late and left early most of the last week, she did come in every day, and made sure that she got every last bit of help from me that she could.
I’m not complaining, of course; I was glad to be able to have the opportunity to be to help her out while she a. still has access to me and b. the thought occurs to her to ask me.
After all, she didn’t just leave the company, she’s actually leaving the state, so, barring anything I can do to help her virtually, once she’s moved away, there won’t be a lot I can do for her, and eventually circumstances will demand that she stop relying on me, and while there may be the occasional moment of wishing that I were around when she needs help, there will inevitably come a time when asking me won’t even be a consideration.
Of course, there are probably going to be delays to that natural process:

Me:  (In the process of exporting some information for her)  Pay attention.  You’re going to have to do the opposite of this when you want to import the information to your new computer.
Boss:  No, I’m not.  I’m going to call you and say “Help!”
Me:  *Sigh*
Boss:  It’s your fault!  You did all of this stuff for me instead of letting me do it myself and learn how to do it.
Me:  I’ve taught you to be helpless, haven’t I?
Boss:  Yes!

As I was continuing to help her with similar issues yesterday, someone else told me that I should “teach her to fish.”

Me:  It’s too late; she’s never going to catch anything.

****

It occurred to me that I probably should have written some sort of documentation on “The Care and Maintenance of The Boss” for whoever it is that has to take over for me at her new job…

****

The new job is in Florida, and she was supposed to head down there today in order to start on Monday, but her new boss called to tell her not to show up until the 4th, so as to avoid Hurricane Isaac.
It really is just like her to move to Florida just in time for hurricane season…

****

As for what’s going to happen to me in a post-boss world, that’s all still rather up in the air.
The team is currently reporting directly to our VP, with me designated as the “interim lead,” and the position is going to be posted so that a replacement for the boss can be found.
I’m not at all certain as to whether that’s merely a formality, or if I’m going to have to actually compete with other candidates.
While I’m not exactly known for my optimism, there are a lot of indicators apart from my generally fatalistic view that it is the latter, and that my chances aren’t really that great.
So, yeah.

To Everything, Churn, Churn, Churn…

So there’s been something of a regular – inasmuch as anything here can be considered “regular” – feature on this blog that, sadly, you won’t be likely to see after next week.
That would be the “Conversations” posts that contain this:
Boss:  [Some comment]
Me:  [Sarcastic response]
The reason for that is that last Friday the boss put in her two weeks’ notice, so the boss will no longer be the boss, and thus will no longer be available to participate in blog-worthy conversations.
I’m not particularly pleased about that.
…
Okay, that’s a lie – I am particularly pleased that she’s moving on to bigger and better things, but, more selfishly, I’m…well, it’s a complex panoply of emotions that I will refer to as depissed.
(Depressed + Pissed).
She’s been a great boss for over two years, she was a great co-worker before that, and she’s been a good friend, and a huge supporter of Heroic Portraits.
(Note:  Total aside, but Windows Live Writer apparently has the ability to learn, as it automatically turned Heroic Portraits into a hyperlink after I typed it.  That’s awesome.)
Since she told me, my stomach has steadily been churning away as I face the prospect of bosslessness.
Not that you’d be likely to notice, of course, but, as I told the boss, she knows me well enough to know that just because I don’t look upset – though there are, of course, telltale signs for the observant – that doesn’t mean that I don’t feel upset.
Or as I put it, “You know how it is.  Jon and expressiveness don’t exactly go together like chocolate and peanut butter.”
So what does her departure mean for my future?  I’m not entirely sure yet.  The not-at-all official plan is for me to take over and become the boss, though, again, that’s not official, and I don’t know when it will be official (or, for that matter, won’t be official).
(The boss seems more convinced; this morning she handed over her “You’re an essential piece of the puzzle” spot recognition coupon thingies and said, “You’re going to have to have these.”)
So if I become the boss, that definitely means that there won’t be any Me/Boss exchanges, as those would just be the existing Me/Also Me exchanges.
Sure, I’d still have a boss, in the form of my VP, but while he’s a nice enough guy, I just don’t foresee our conversations being all that entertaining.
Of course, the prospect of potentially becoming the boss – and having to do so without the benefit of having a me to rely on in the way that the soon-to-no-longer-be boss did – also adds to the churn, as does the prospect of not becoming the boss…
Anyway, here’s one last exchange:
Boss:  Packed up the office today.  It’s all done.
Me:  LOL
Me:  Are you even coming back at all?
Boss:  Yes of course.  Just wanted that out of the way.
Me:  That thought made my stomach churn, btw.
Boss:  Awwww.
Boss:  Don’t do that yet.
Too late.
There is a season, churn, churn, churn…
Bonus Last Exchange:
Boss:  We should drink every time they say parking lot!!!
Me:  Get the booze from the margarita maker.
Boss:  LOL
Me:  Of course, if I still drank, you wouldn’t want to square off against me.
Me:  I was a professional.
Boss:  LOL.  You don’t do anything half way.

Live And Don’t Learn

We have this program of irregularly-scheduled presentations at work called “Lunch and Learn,” during which various people from within the organization I work in give an hour-long talk on a particular topic – generally something related to their work – at lunch time, and lunch is provided for the audience.
Today, I had to give a presentation.  Well, “had to” isn’t really the right way to put it, given that it was my idea to give the presentation in the first place.
In any case, I won’t bore you with the details of the topic – it has to do with my job, so trust me when I say you’d be bored – but I will say that it was generally well-received, and many people commented that it was the best one they’ve ever been to.
So, yay me.
I made the session more interesting by making it interactive, and also by being funny.  I can do that, sometimes.  (This blog notwithstanding)
When I started things off, I introduced myself and said, “Those of you who know me may be surprised to learn that I do actually talk.  Those of you who don’t know me may be surprised to learn that I exist.”

****

At some point in the morning, someone asked me, “Are you ready for your Lunch and Learn?”  Before I could respond, someone else said, “He’s going to do a Live and Learn.”
I said, “No, it’s more like a Live and Don’t Learn.”

****

Boss:  …and I’m a lot younger than you are.
Me:  You’re not a lot younger than I am.
Boss:  I didn’t mean it like that.
Me:  How else could you mean it?
Boss:  Not that way.

****

Co-Worker:  Do you get nervous when you have to talk in front of a bunch of people?
Me:  No.  I used to, but not anymore.
Co-Worker:  What changed?
Me:  I stopped caring.

(Or as I put it to someone else with less sensitive ears, “How nervous I get is directly proportionate to the number of fucks I give.”)

****

Somewhere along the line they stopped ordering pizza for the Lunch and Learn sessions and started ordering other kinds of foods.  Today it was a huge multi-section sub.  I wasn’t really in the mood for that, so I didn’t have any.
I didn’t really have time to eat anyway, as I was going to be presenting.
When I got home, I still had pizza on the brain, and, because I’ve started up on the Captain America workout, I’m supposed to be eating more, so I decided to order a pizza.
It arrived quickly.  So quickly, in fact, that in their haste to deliver it, they didn’t so much slice the pizza as merely threaten it with something sharp.

****

The Lunch and Learn experience reminded me of something that happened years ago when I worked at AOL and my then-boss made me conduct a training session for my peers.
After it was over, she told me, “I’m so happy you did that!  Now everyone knows that you’re funny!”

****

While we were waiting for our flight out of Austin the other week, I noticed this attractive young woman who had what I can only describe as a great “look.”
It was what I would call a “modern alt-model retro pin-up look,” which I realize probably only makes sense in my head, but there you go.
The look was evocative of what are known as Rat Rod Girls, though the look was bit less…well, I don’t want to say “trashy,” but…I suppose I should say a bit more sophisticated.  Also, she didn’t appear to have any tats (visible ones, at any rate), so she wasn’t quite what comes to mind when I think “alt-model,” but I suppose it was just that she was thoroughly modern in terms of the way she was dressed, but the flower in her hair and her shoes gave her a sort of vintage look at the same time.
The way she was sitting, and her features, added to the effect.
As mentioned, she had a flower in her hair, and she was wearing a tight pink tank top, and a short, pink skirt – with a substantial slit up the side – paired with a gray hoodie.
Given that I was with my VP and other people from work, I didn’t want to just walk up to her and say, “You have a great look, and I would love to draw you,” but at the same time, I did want to do that.
Ultimately, even if I’d been there by myself, I doubt that I would have, because I can’t imagine any non-creepy way to do something like that.

Jon And I Don’t Get Along Part 9,567

(Getting ready for work the other morning, I decided I should bring the power cord and docking station for the tablet with me to work.)
Me:  I should buy another docking station so that I can have one at home and one at work.
Also Me:  Then fucking do it, tough guy.
Me:  Maybe I will.
Also Me:  Maybe you should.
Me:  Maybe you should kiss my ass.
Also Me:  Maybe I will…after I kick it.

****

(E-mail exchange with the boss)
Boss:  Remember that your weekly accomplishments are due by COB today.
Me:  They were due by COB yesterday, and I already provided mine.
Boss:  Shut up.
Me:  You should set up an Outlook Rule that automatically replies to every e-mail from me with a message telling me to shut up, or calling me an idiot, or both.
Boss:  Good idea.
Me:  Of course, I would actually have to set it up for you.
Boss:  True.

****

I’ve got three weeks of the “Captain America Workout” out of the way, with one more to go.
I don’t think I’ll be beating up any Nazis or taking on Ultron anytime soon, but I have made some substantial, noticeable gains in terms of muscle mass.  My shoulders and chest are visibly larger and more defined, and the scale tells me that I’ve gained nine pounds.
Of course, the scale also tells me that I’ve experienced a 4% increase in body fat, as if to say, “Who are you going to believe?  Me, or your lying eyes?”
Given that losing 45 pounds only represented a 6% decrease in body fat (per the same scale), it seems unlikely that I’ve gone up by almost that much by putting on a fifth of that.  I mean, even if it were nine pounds of fat, which, given the way I look and feel (and the way my clothes fit), it’s clear that it isn’t fat, I can’t see how I could possibly have jumped up that much.

****

So it turns out that I was correct when I said that it would not be Superman (or Batman) that DC outed as its most prominent gay character, but I was also incorrect when I speculated that it would be Wonder Woman.
I was closer to the mark when I used Jay Garrick as an example of a prominent (to comic fans) character, as it turns out that newly-outed gay character is Alan Scott, the original Green Lantern.  (Not the one portrayed by Ryan Reynolds in the recent GL movie)
To be fair, while I didn’t mention him, I had actually considered the possibility.
To be even more fair, at the time of my speculation, I wasn’t aware that DC had explicitly stated that 1. It was a male character and 2. It was a character who had not yet made an appearance in any of the New 52 titles.
Had I known those things, my suspicion that it would be Alan Scott would have been worth mentioning.
As it is, I never got back to the subject, as I was distracted by other things, and, really, my speculation as to how it could be Superman (kinda-sorta) after all, turns out to be irrelevant anyway, though ultimately, had DC gone that route, the net effect would have been the same (alternate universe, basically).
You can read more about Alan, and the outing here.  I have to say that, within the context of the New 52, the rationale for choosing Alan makes a fair amount of sense.
I have, as noted, no objection to making Alan (or any character, really) gay, but while I understand that comics are a business, I’m a little annoyed (though not surprised) by the “stunt” aspect of it.
Further, while I think that adding characters who represent the diversity of real life is a good thing, ultimately, this isn’t really a net gain, given that a pre-existing gay character has been lost.
So overall, it’s kind of a push.

That’s Why

(At our staff meeting)
Boss:  I want you all to get out of here as early as possible today.

Meanwhile, I had already committed to being there for the full day (though the office was closing at 3) for a variety of reasons…

After the staff meeting, the boss and I put my contractor to work on finalizing a document, though we told her to finish it up as quickly as she could so that she could still get out of there early.

About an hour later…

Contractor:  Jon, you’re going to hate my document.  It’s not as nice as you would make it.
Me:  Did you move all of the content from the Excel file into it?
Contractor:  The formatting is terrible and it just looks ugly.
Me:  Did you move all of the content from the Excel file into it?
Contractor:  I mean, it’s really ugly and -
Me:  Answer my question.
Contractor:  …well, yeah, but -
Me:  No buts.  Send it to me so that I can finish it up, then get the hell out of here and have a nice weekend.

Shortly thereafter, one of the primary reasons I had committed to stay for the full day went away, so I was going to clean up the document, go to the one meeting I had, then call it a day about an hour and a half early.

Boss:  I really need you to help me with this…
Me:  Okay, send it.

I managed to finish that up pretty quickly (Boss:  You saved my life.), daydreamed my way through my meeting, knocked out the formatting issues with the other document, and then was preparing to get out about an hour early, but then I heard the boss knocking around in her office and went in to ask her something before I left.

Boss:  Why are you still here?
Me:  Well, I can be gone, I just -
Boss:  Wait, help me with this before you go.
Me:  …and that’s why I’m still here.

I did manage to get out fifteen minutes early, anyway…

Quick Bits Of Randomness

(At a meeting)
Project Manager:  She’s kind of a Jack-of-All-Trades.   Well, I guess I should say Jackie-of-All-Trades.
Me:  Just so long as she isn’t a Jackée-of-All-Trades – I don’t think the position really calls for that level of sassiness.
All:  [Crickets]

*Sigh*  Nobody gets me.

****

Every so often I think to myself, “You should probably try to stop hating everyone so much.  It doesn’t do any good, and it’s probably not healthy.”
Then I end up having to drive to work in the rain, and as I see people panicking as though the Zombie Apocalypse has broken out, it’s like the Emperor is in the car with me saying, “Good. Use your aggressive feelings, boy. Let the hate flow through you”

****

Boss:  Sarcasm isn’t the way to deal with conflict.
Me:  Sure it is.
Boss:  …okay, it’s our way, but…

****

Thursday will find me and Scott sitting in a theater from 11:30 AM until sometime in the wee hours on Friday morning as we enjoy the Ultimate Marvel Marathon.
…
*Ahem*
NERDS!!!

****

I have ideas.
A lot of ideas. 
Far too many ideas.
If there’s one thing I don’t lack, it’s ideas.
What I do lack, however, is the willingness and/or ability to do anything with these ideas.
I’ve come to think of myself as an Idea Graveyard, and I find myself, like the voices in the head of Ed O’Neil in Wayne’s World 2, wondering, “Why do they come to me to die?  Why do they come to me to die?”

****

Of the assorted animals that seem drawn to my yard for no apparent reason, the rabbits are pretty much the only ones that haven’t annoyed me.
I mean, I don’t grow any vegetables or anything, so, Watership Down aside, who could have anything against rabbits?
Except that their presence also seems to draw the attention of children who will run around in my yard attempting to catch said rabbits, and drawing me inexorably towards the day when I open my door and yell, “Hey!  You kids!  Get off my lawn!”

****

Last week there was a “Health and Wellness Fair” at work.  I hadn’t intended to go to it, but at one point my boss – who is on the Health and Wellness Committee and was working one of the tables – texted me and asked me if I wanted to get my blood pressure, BMI, and body fat checked out.
As I had an informally-scheduled discussion with someone about metrics coming up in the next few minutes – a discussion I wanted to avoid because metrics –  I decided that there was nothing I would like more, and so I headed down for it.
Unsurprisingly, my blood pressure was fine.
However, I got conflicting information from the BMI and body fat results.  According to my BMI, I’m overweight, but my body fat percentage – about 19% – put me in the “Good” range.
According to the BMI chart, my ideal weight would be around 120 pounds.
…
Currently, I weigh somewhere around 165 pounds. 
I have a 29 inch waist.
Because I’m short, that makes it exceedingly difficult to find pants that fit properly – when you’re this short, you’re supposed to have a much wider waist, apparently.  I can’t even find a belt that’s designed for anything smaller than a 32 inch waist.
Years ago, I weighed around 140 pounds – which would put me on the high end of the optimal BMI range – and I had a 27 inch waist.
I think I’m going to pay more attention to what the body fat percentage says than what the BMI says, at least if I ever want to wear clothes…

I Wonder If She Wants The Cereal?

As mentioned in earlier posts, I filed my taxes about two weeks ago, and had, in under a week, already gotten – and spent – my VA refund, and I was eagerly awaiting my Federal refund.
Given that I’ve found that it typically takes a week at most for me to get it, I was anticipating its arrival shortly after the VA refund.
Unfortunately, I got an e-mail informing me that the IRS was reporting a delay in processing of refunds, so it would take slightly longer than usual.  When I checked the “Where’s my refund?” page on the IRS site, it informed me that I would get my refund “by the 7th.”
It had been my intention to take a day off from work once I had the money in order to make a Costco run and stock up on those things which Costco is useful to me for stocking up on, which, honestly, isn’t a lot, but still ends up costing considerably more than a standard trip to the grocery store does.
So, in the parlance of the Internet, I was disappoint.
After all, I had hoped to schedule my day off in such a way as to give myself a long weekend by taking either a Friday or a Monday off.
That wouldn’t work, without additional waiting, if I wasn’t going to have the money until Tuesday.
With hope in my heart, I checked the IRS page again yesterday afternoon and found that the date had become more specific, stating that it was scheduled to be deposited in my account on February 6th.
Hooray!  I could take Monday off!
However, there still remained a problem in the form of my spending my entire VA refund so long before getting my Federal, which left me with a minimal amount of available funds until then unless I moved some scheduled bill payments around a little.  Which isn’t to say that I’d be paying bills late, just later than originally planned, which would give me some breathing room until Monday.
On any other weekend I would have been fine just waiting to do my shopping on Monday, but…well, the Super Bowl is tomorrow, and it’s become something of an annual tradition for me to do my grocery shopping while everyone else in the world is watching the big sweaty mens playing with a ball on their TVs and I can move through the aisles of the stores as though I’m living in a post-Rapture world free of crying children and slow-moving old people.
It is, quite frankly, one of my favorite days of the year.  It’s like I’m living in the world of Night of the Comet or I Am Legend, only without the homicidal zombie mutants chasing after me.  (The zombie mutants are what I contend with every other day of the year.)
So I couldn’t not go shopping on Sunday night.  The whole experience means more to me than Christmas.
So I shuffled things around and had to hope that the IRS was as good as its word and that the money would be there on Monday, or, barring that, no later than Wednesday.
I got up this morning intending to do my usual Saturday stuff, with the nagging question of “What if the money doesn’t come in until, say, Friday?  I should just hold off on buying anything until I know for sure that it’s there.”
With that in mind, for the sheer hell of it, I logged into my bank’s mobile site on my phone to check my balance.  The tiny text on the screen was hard to read, but it was immediately apparent that the first number in my balance wasn’t the same as it was yesterday, or the number that I was actually expecting.  A quick zoom showed that it was, however, the number it would be if my refund had been deposited.  Checking recent transactions confirmed that this was the case.
Yay!
So, unburdened by any financial concerns, I headed out to pick up my comics and a few other things to tide me over until I could do the serious, no hordes of mutant zombies shopping on Sunday and Monday.
Some time back I discovered that, ironically enough, the best price for cigarettes can be found at CVS Pharmacy.  Unfortunately, others have discovered that as well, so they’re frequently out of stock of my cigarettes.  Today, when I went, as I do every week, to the CVS in the same plaza as the comic shop I found that their cigarette shelves had been heavily raided, so I decided that I’d stop somewhere and get a pack or two and then pick up more tomorrow or Monday.
After that I stopped at Best Buy to look at Bluetooth keyboards for my slate, as I had been mistaken when I read that the slate came with the dock and the keyboard, and to pick up a MicroSD card to add to the slate’s overall storage.
I ended up buying neither, opting instead to just order the actual Samsung keyboard for it online at some point, and finding that they didn’t have any 32 GB MicroSD cards, which is what I was looking for.  I did pick up a cheap, low-profile flash drive for it, however.
In any case, I went from Best Buy over to the nearby Giant (a grocery store) and picked up a few things, then stopped at the unattended service counter – I’ve never seen service counters at stores unattended as often as I do in VA in any of the other places I’ve lived – and waited for someone to show up to sell me cigarettes.
While I was waiting, I could hear some woman at the registers very loudly repeating, “How much is the cereal?  I want the cereal.  How much is the cereal?  I want the cereal.”
She was stuck on that loop for a solid two minutes, before moving on to asking how much the Coke was, and stating that she wanted that as well, periodically reiterating that she wanted the cereal.
From what I could gather, based on her loud, undirected rant, her EBT card (the 21st Century version of food stamps) had not been activated/loaded on February 1st, as it was supposed to have been.
”It was supposed to be activated on February 1st!  It’s February 4th!  That’s terrible!  It was supposed to be activated on February 1st!  It’s February 4th!  Well, I got the cereal.  I wanted the cereal.  And the Coke.  But it was supposed to be activated on February 1st!  It’s February 4th!”
I’m not kidding.  She went on like this non-stop, to, apparently, no one, or to the uncaring Universe.
Or possibly to all of her fellow shoppers within earshot – which covered a fair distance, honestly – who were equally uncaring, or at the very least were completely incapable of doing anything to resolve her issue.  Even if we did care, or were able to do something about it, we pretty much would have gotten the message after the first twenty repetitions.
I will not deny that it must be frustrating to discover that you don’t have the ability to buy the things you need after you’ve walked into a store and made it all the way to the checkout fully expecting to be able to do so – after all, I had been, more or less, in the same boat earlier in the day – and I sympathize, particularly given that she was accompanied by someone in a wheelchair (I assume the EBT card, if that’s what was supposed to have been activated on February 1st – bearing in mind that today is February 4th, in case you forgot – was part of her companion’s disability benefits) but it was pretty seriously annoying, and is a good representative example of why I enjoy my Super Bowl shopping experience so very much.
Still, at least she got the cereal.
I’m just not sure she really wanted it.

****

Despite the influx of funds, I didn’t really end up spending any more money than usual today.  Actually, I spent a bit less, since I didn’t buy a carton of cigarettes.  Even the extra purchase of the flash drive for the slate didn’t amount to much, as it was relatively inexpensive.
Monday, however, will be a different matter entirely, since I never walk out of Costco without having spent, at a minimum, $100.

****

(Note: Our boss refers to my co-worker and I as brothers.)
Boss:  I’m worried about your brother.
Me:  Why?
Boss:  He’s getting jaded.
Me:  Tell him to join the club.
Boss:  I know.  That’s the problem.  You’re jaded, and I’m jaded…I can’t deal with all of us being jaded.
****
Boss:  So I’m getting one of the high school interns dumped on me.
Me:  You mean I’m getting one of the high school interns dumped on me.
Boss:  …yeah.
Me:  I knew that was going to happen as soon as I heard there were going to be interns, because I’m fucking psychic.
Boss:  Well, I thought about giving him to your brother…
Me:  What’s he going to do with an intern?
Boss:  I don’t know.  Stop being mean to me.  You’re going to make me cry.
Me:  No I’m not.
Boss:  Yes you are.
Me:  No, you’re going to make you cry.
Me:  *Sigh*  Fine, I’ll try to to think of something for him to do.  When does he start.
Boss:  He started already, but he’s already working on some other stuff.  You probably won’t have to do anything with him until next week, so you’ve got time to come up with some projects for him.

****

(The next day)
Boss:  So here’s the intern.  Find something for him to do.

****

Me:  I thought I had time to come up with something for the intern to do, but he got dumped on me this morning.  So I spent an hour and a half explaining what our team does and watching him struggle to stay awake.
Scott:  Well, he’ll take away one thing from the internship:  the knowledge of what he doesn’t want to do with his life.

****

Me:  I didn’t realize I was getting him today.
Boss:  Yeah, sorry.
Me:  He’s so young.
Boss:  I know!  It’s crazy.
Me:  He’s not even a baby.  He’s a…pre-baby.  He’s a zygote.

****

I’m currently reading Criminal:  The Last of the Innocent by Ed Brubaker and Sean Phillips.  I now understand why it made so many “Best of” lists last year.
Not that this comes as any surprise to me, because Ed Brubaker.  And even more to the point, because Ed Brubaker and Sean Phillips.

Friday Night Randomness

Last night, being Thursday, was movie night for Scott and me.
Shortly after he left, I tended to the things I needed to tend to, then got into bed.
After a few minutes my phone rang.
I have a cordless phone for my landline that’s Bluetooth-enabled, which allows it to connect to my cell phone, so I can make and receive cell phone calls via my regular landline phone.  I could see that the call was originating from my cell, and with those calls, all that gets passed along to the Caller ID display is the number.  I looked to see if it was from Michigan, as my first assumption upon getting a call that late, if it isn’t a wrong number, is that it’s my sister calling to tell me that my mom is in the hospital.  (Not that I’m trying to jinx things, but…well, I’ve gotten quite a few calls like that.)
When I saw that it was a Virginia area code, I thought, “Okay, either it’s a wrong number or Scott had some kind of trouble on his way home.”
It was not, unfortunately, a wrong number.
It was Stacy calling to inform me that she believes that Scott and I are cursed, as he got hit by a snow plow on the way home.  (He was, at last report, a bit stiff and sore, but not injured.  The same, of course, can’t be said for his car…)

****

I spent a fair amount of time at work this week consolidating four separate SharePoint lists into one SharePoint list.
It was exactly as exciting as it sounds.
In any case, the point of it all was to refine the intake process for our team, and while I was at it I thought I’d also refine our impact assessment list, our project tracking list, and our zzzzzzzzz
*Snort*  Huh?
Oh.
Anyway, at the risk* of causing everyone – myself included – to doze off again, I also created a risk register to accompany the intake form and etc..
Actually, more than anything else, the risk register is what motivated me to consolidate the four lists into one, as the addition of the risk register would have added yet another separate list for us to fill out, because there was no way to incorporate it into what was already in place.  So even though I added a new list, thanks to the consolidation, there was still a net decrease in the total number of lists.  So, go me!
(My boss said, “You’re amazing.  Next time I’ll let you pick out your own Christmas present.”  Given that she gave me a gift certificate, I said, “I pretty much did this time anyway.”)
In any case, in testing out the new list, I created a sample project called “The Call of Cthullu.”  The description of the project read, "In his house at R’lyeh, dead Cthulhu waits dreaming,” and added, “Ia! Ia! Cthulhu Fhtagn!”
In the associated risk register, I listed the primary risk as “Being devoured by Cthullu,” and for the risk response, I put, “There is no response – we’ll all be eaten.”
When I was showing the new list and risk register to my boss and my co-worker – who’s also my cube neighbor – my boss laughed as she read through the sample project and said, “You’re an idiot.”  She then turned to my co-worker and said, “Does he just sit here giggling all day?”

****

(Standing around looking like my normal self, which apparently to others looks like..honestly, I don’t know what it looks like, but “normal” for me appears to be dour and/or suicidal or something.)
Co-Worker:  Jon?  Are you all right?
Me:  Hm?  Yeah, I’m fine.
Co-Worker:  Is everything okay?
Me:  Yes, why?
Co-Worker:  You aren’t smiling.
Me:  Well, things aren’t that okay.

****

Yesterday I woke up on my own five minutes before my alarm could go off.  I turned the alarm off to keep it from sounding (or rather, playing music) while I was out of the room.
I forgot to turn it back on, so this morning I overslept.  However, when you normally get up at 4 AM, “oversleeping” means still being up well before the sun, and getting to work two hours before everyone else.
But this is Northern Virginia, so it still means having to deal with a lot of traffic.

****

Co-Worker 1:  It’s such a 90s way of thinking.
Co-Worker 2:  You say that like the 90s were a long time ago.
Me:  Uhh…it’s 2012.

****

Fred “Slacktivist” Clark comments on a piece by the public editor of The New York Times which contains this:

I’m looking for reader input on whether and when New York Times news reporters should challenge “facts” that are asserted by newsmakers they write about.

As I said in the Comments section:

This...this is an example of exactly the sort of illogical statement you would make in a bad sci-fi story to cause a robot's head to explode.

****

Boss:  Thanks, Jon.  You saved my ass on this.
Me:  I know.
Boss:  “I know.”  Jackass.
Me:  You’re welcome.

****

And finally, my sister Kristy turned 50 today.  So, first of all, happy birthday, of course (and also to her husband Ken, whose birthday is also today), but second of all…well, before that quote about whether or not reporters should investigate “facts” could do it, that realization made my head asplode.
*Get it?  Risk?  ‘Cause I was talking about a risk register and…shut up.

(Secondhand) Conversations

My VP:  What would happen to this place if you got run over by a truck or something?
Boss:  One of my guys could take over for me.
My VP:  What if they got run over by the same truck?
Boss:  Then you'd be screwed.

...And Jon Maki As The Integration Manager

(Note:  For reasons that are, in many ways, beyond my understanding, my boss had to jump through a lot of hoops to get my promotion approved.)

Me:  (After signing the paperwork that made the promotion official)  You realize that now you and I actually have the same title?
Boss:  Yep.  You should ask for a raise.

****

My promotion was announced as part of a much larger organizational update that went out today.  Lost somewhere in the midst of the huge wall o' text outlining the new structure - you may recall that we just had a reorg in July - after a listing of the people who work for my boss (I was, once again, listed last), I got a single sentence that will likely escape most everyone's notice.  "Jon-Paul has been promoted to Integration Manager."
Ehh, it's more money, and a larger bonus - though I won't actually receive the larger bonus until 2013, as the previous rate was already locked in for the bonus I'll receive in 2012 - so I suppose I shouldn't complain.
Which doesn't mean that I won't complain, mind you, just that I shouldn't.
Text exchange with my boss after the e-mail went out:

Me:  "Jon-Paul has been promoted to afterthought."
Me:  One rung up from "footnote."  I'm going places!  My star is on the rise, baby!
Boss:  LOL oh shut up and be excited sarcasmo!

****

On a somewhat more personally satisfying note, I have, as mentioned, been participating in this year's National Novel Writing Month.  The challenge, as you may recall, is to write 50,000 words between November 1st and November 30th.  As of today I have over 38,000 words written.  I should easily hit 50,000 this weekend.
I won't stop at that point, but I did want to get the "challenge" aspect of it out of the way early on so that I could devote the rest of the month to completing the story, then going back and editing it - and my 2009 offering, to which this novel is the sequel - while I'm still in "writer mode," and then doing...something with it.  Submitting it somewhere, I suppose.  Presumably because I enjoy having my hopes shattered.
In any case, I suppose that I ought to get back to it.

Long Weekend

For no reason that I can determine, I woke up at around 2:30 this morning.
I stayed in bed for a while trying to get back to sleep before my bladder induced me to get up.  After attending to that, I got back into bed and spent some time lying in the dark before deciding to get up again and have a cigarette.
Once that was done, I did some meditation for about twenty minutes.
By that time it was around 3:30, which was only a half an hour earlier than I was planning to get up anyway, so I said, "Fuck it," got up, got dressed in my workout attire, and proceeded to engage in a workout that let me know in no uncertain terms that while I mostly feel okay, I'm still not 100% recovered from whatever illness struck me down on Monday.
Having an extra half hour to kill after finishing my exhausting workout, I sat down to watch the recorded episode of The Office before showering and getting on with my day.
While at work, my boss, in a post-staff meeting discussion, talked about some of her plans for our group, which included getting my co-worker promoted to the same level I just got promoted to, while providing some - frankly infuriating, though I won't get into that - details about the process of getting me promoted.
Her goal is for both of us to be Managers (my promotion will give me the title of "Manager," but I won't actually be managing anyone initially) and, eventually, have Analysts reporting to us.
My co-worker said, "I just want to manage projects.  Jon can manage the Analysts."
I said, "I just want to manage our internal processes."
The boss said, "You'll both shut the fuck up and do whatever I tell you to do."

****

As it was the Friday before Halloween, the office was going to be overrun by candy-seeking hordes of children at 2 PM.
Me:  By the way, I'm bailing before the kids show up.
Boss:  You and me both.

****

I decided to take Monday and Tuesday off, mostly just because, but in part because I want to stay up late on Monday and get a jump on National Novel Writing Month, and devote much of Tuesday to writing.
Because I'll be writing my latest novel, my updates here will either be even less frequent than they have been, or more frequent, in the form of excerpts from each day's writing.
Personally, I don't see any advantage to either option, so I'm not sure which one I'll opt for.

Wednesday Evening Departments

That's Nutty Department:

Boss:  You want some?  They're really good, and carb-neutral.
Me:  No, thanks.
Boss:  We bought a bunch of these when we went on our Cape Cod trip, and went through all of them in like a day.
Me:  Huh.
Boss:  Those girls can really take down some nuts!
Me:  *Cough*
Boss:  I know.


Cryptic Writings Department:

Text from my boss informing me that I'd been promoted:

Btw...THUNDERCATS ARE GO!!!!

(I knew what it meant)

Poker Face Department:

Contractor:  So my interview went really well.  I think I'll probably get the job.
Me:  That's good.
Contractor:  So let me ask you something...I get the impression that that group is looked down on by other groups because they're not all that technical.
Me:  ...
Me:  Hm.
Me:  That's certainly...a perspective.
Contractor:  Is that not the case?
Me:  Well, let's just say that people rarely even consider that group's technical expertise and leave it at that.

A Hard Four Days' Night Department:

From Monday afternoon until this morning (Wednesday), I slept a little more than I normally would in the course of four nights.
I woke up this morning feeling tired, and thought, "Are you fucking kidding me?"
Sleeping is, apparently, hard work.

I'm Probably Past The Middle...

Me:  Plus there's the whole mid-life crisis thing I've got going on.
Boss:  You're having a mid-life crisis?  You're not 50.
Me:  I'm almost 40, and I'm not likely to live to be 100.
Boss:  Fair enough.

We Can Hardly Stand To Wait, Please Friday Don't Be Late

I was so concerned about Friday not arriving on time that I decided to take matters into my own hands and make it come early by taking it off, thereby making Thursday into Friday.
Actually, I mostly just needed a break from work for the sake of what I laughingly* refer to as my mental health, and to have a weekday upon which to do "Weekday Stuff," those things that I prefer to do during the week rather than on the weekend, such as making one my trips to the dreaded Costco.
As it turned out, through sheer happenstance, it was a good day to take off, as my company is doing some sort of charity golf tournament tomorrow, so pretty much no one will be at work anyway.
Certainly not any of the higher-ups, at least.
Despite having tomorrow off, my mood hasn't much improved, though I suppose it's not as bad as it was the other day, when I made the "And I Still May" post.  (Note:  I still may.)
Honestly, the next day was even worse.
Despite taking the day off tomorrow, I actually ended up bringing work home, and even roped Scott into helping me with it.
(Thanks again, BTW.)
I couldn't help myself, though, as it was one of those things that was beginning to mock me, and I knew that it would drive me crazy if I didn't keep working on it until I finished it or finally acknowledged defeat.  As I wasn't quite ready to throw in the towel, I had no choice but to haul the laptop home with me.
Also, there was this:

Me:  I haven't been able to figure out how to get it to work.
Boss:  Well, keep working on it.  You'll get it.
Me:  Honestly, I just don't think it's even possible to get it to work.
Boss:  Well, you've made me believe that's never the case when it comes to you.
Me;  Then you're a sucker.

Still, how could I acknowledge defeat in the face of that sort of endorsement?
Lousy boss, always providing encouragement...
Of course, this is the same boss, who just the day before, had occasion to say, "Don't you do it, Jon Maki.  I will throw you out a window if you even think about it."
She was joking, of course.
Mostly.
I think.
Not that I actually had any intention of doing the thing she was telling me not to do, anyway...
On a brighter, less life-threatening note, I got the recent Windows Phone 7.5 update, or "Mango" as it was code-named.  I'll be writing some Hubs about the installation experience and my thoughts on it, but the tl;dr is that I really like it and it was definitely a worthwhile upgrade.

*Yes, the laughter with which I refer to my mental health is, of course, maniacal.

Monday Night Departments Department

Just Ask Buddha Department:
Me:  Well, that's...enlightening.
Boss:  It's depressing.
Me:  Enlightenment often is.

Crossing the Memes Department:
Boss:  You are aMAZing!
Me:  Yeah yeah yeah...
Boss:  Oh, come on!  I just want you to know that you're a valuable asset to the team!
Me:  Look, you don't have to go all Courage Wolf on me.
Me:  Honestly, I think I'd prefer Insanity Wolf.

How Dare They Etnertain Me Department:
I was looking at the schedule of upcoming recordings on my DVR and saw that the new season is officially starting, and all the shows I watch are lined up to record.
This resulted in an exasperated sigh.

Time Doesn't Care If You're Having Fun or Not Department:
Given that I don't really do...anything, I'm often at a loss to understand how it is that I never seem to have any time.
So one night, as time was rushing past, I paused to think about it.
Because I hate dealing with traffic, I go in to work crazy early, usually arriving sometime between 6 and 6:30.  Given that experience has taught me that, regardless of how much or how little sleep I've gotten, the best time for me to work out in terms of motivation is in the morning before work, that means getting up every morning at 4:30.
Once I'm at work, I generally end up putting in at least 9 hours.  Even when my schedule is such that I have to stay until 5 - or later - I can't bring myself to go in in any later than I normally do.
Seriously, traffic is already bad enough at 5:30 in the morning.
So, factoring in the time invested in working out, showering, getting dressed, driving in to work, working for, typically, 9 and a half hours, and then driving home from work, I've generally eaten up at least 11 and a half hours of the day, and usually it's more than 12.
So, yeah.  That's why I don't have any time.

A Word from Brian Azarello.

More Of Whatever The Hell It Is I Do All Day

Because I don't feel I've bored you enough, I thought I'd post more about my job, starting with some of the acronyms I encounter on a daily basis:

PMO
OSS
VSS
CMDB
CMTS
ORT
UAT
EMS
PMS (No, not that kind)
RNOC
TOC
EOC
RACI
BTS
BPS
OMSE
SLA
MSA
SWOT
KPI
MARS
...and so forth.
Are there even more than that?  Oh yes.
Do I know what they all stand for?  Yes, actually.  (To make matters even worse, some of them stand for more than one thing.)
Do I find that sad?  What do you think?

He Who Laughs Last Department:
Post-reorg, our group has been trying to focus on quantifying the work we do in the form of easy to understand metrics, in part to show how overburdened we are.
As part of that - and to help better align the enterprise-wide processes, and to account for our new responsibilities - we're putting a major emphasis on definining our processes and requirements, and requiring other groups to adhere to them when they engage us.  (It's actually a major victory to have them engaging us at all, and even moreso that we're getting them to engage us before new products launch.)
Towards that end, we're looking at ways to streamline the engagement process and to make it easy for external groups to know exactly what we require and to provide it to us, and, in my estimation, the best way to do that (right now, at least) is to put our Entrance Checklist online on our SharePoint site, so that people can have a single location where they can go to fill out the Checklist without having the confusion of e-mailing files around and running into version control issues.
Unfortunately, our current deployment of SharePoint is...not great.  So while it's a workable (in theory) solution, it's far from ideal, but our only option is to turn the Checklist into a survey.
A new project was recently announced, and my boss and I agreed that this would be an ideal time to (finally) get the revamped Checklist online and start directing people to it.
So that's what the hell I was doing all day yesterday.  Well, for most of the day, at any rate.  I also rewrote and revised some process docs.
I ran into some problems - due to the limitations of our SharePoint site - right away, so the whole thing took longer than it should have, and finally I had to tell my boss, "Yeah...let's just send them the actual Word doc version of the Checklist; I don't think I'll have this up and running today."
However, I kept working on it until the bitter end.  Or at least close to the bitter end.
A bit before 2 my boss came around and said, "Get out of here, willya?  Go, have a good weekend.  I'm not stressing about the Checklist."
I wasn't exactly stressing about it either, really, but I had come to feel that the survey was mocking me.  I could hear its derisive laughter.
Still, I don't argue when the boss tells me to leave early...especially considering that I had to leave early anyway because I had an eye appointment.
On the way to my car I had something of an epiphany, and realized that I'd been approaching the survey all wrong.
So I thought, "We'll see who's laughing come Tuesday morning, survey!"

Technically Incorrect Department:
Boss:  You're more technical with that than I am.
Me:  Yes, I'm more technical than you in general...which is bizarre, considering that you have an Engineering degree and I have an English degree.

At The Movies Department:
On Tuesday my department had a joint "team outing' with another department, which involved going to the fancy new theater here in Leesburg and having a catered lunch, and then taking in a movie.  We each got to choose whatever movie, playing within the outing timeframe of 11:30-4, we chose.  I opted for Rise of the Planet of the Apes.
It was okay.  It was certainly better than being at work, and it was free, so I hardly have anything to complain about.
Plus I worked from home in the morning, as it hardly made sense to drive in to work for a few hours, then turn around and drive back to Leesburg.

Saturday Departments

Under Your Spell Department:
And I'm full of love
And I'm full of wonder
And I'm full of love
And I'm falling under
Your spell

- Nick Cave, Spell

Oh, wait.  Wrong kind of spell; the name of this Department was supposed to be a pun based on spelling, as in the spelling of words.
And its actual content is supposed to be a (legitimate, non-snarky) question posed for people who can't. 
Spell words, that is.
I mean, i know that everyone makes mistakes; my spelling ability, even after years of spellcheck abuse, is above average, but we all make mistakes and have words that, for some reason, we just can't remember how to spell.
My question is for people who routinely and consistently misspell, well, almost everything, and that question is, given your inability to spell, do you actually recognize the words you misspell when you see them spelled correctly?
For example, I see the word "definitely" misspelled as "defiantly" a lot, particularly online.  I understand why that is; the person in question is trying to spell it "definatly," which is not a word, and autocorrect is turning it into "defiantly," which is a word, albeit the wrong one.
So does that person see the word "definitely" and know that it's the correct spelling of their made-up spelling "definatly," or is there no understanding of the word whatsoever?  And if they do recognize it as the correct spelling, is there a particular reason, apart from habit, that they will continue to stick with "definatly," definitely defiantly refusing to bow to convention?
I'm not trying to be a smug, condescending prick* or anything, I am genuinely curious.  So, bad spellers of the world, leave a (poorly-spelled**) comment to let me know if you have any insight.

The Eternal Struggle Department:
(I had to write up a performance evaluation of my intern (Spoiler:  He did a great job.) the other day, and, given that I've never had to fill out a performance evaluation on anyone before, I decided to run it past my boss before revieing it with the intern and submitting it to HR.)
Boss:  I think it looks good, but just make those few changes to soften it a little.
Me:  Okay.  I mean, there's:  he did a great job.  I just thought those couple of areas that he needs to work on needed to be mentioned.
Boss:  They do, but the way they're worded will confuse the stupi- the people reading it, and they'll totally miss the fact that you were saying overwhelmingly positive things about him.
Boss:  You're like me; you prefer to be direct and blunt.  Most people can't deal with that.
Me:  Yeah.  Foolish humans and their precious "feelings."
Boss:  Tell me about it.  It's the thing you and I have to struggle with every day.

Also In That Conversation Department:
Boss:  You know me; if I could get away with it, my evaluations would consist of "He fucking rocked," if the person did a good job, or "He fucking sucked" otherwise.

The Whatever The Hell It Is They Do Department:
I often humorously*** refer to my job as "Whatever the hell it is I do," but as things stand after the reorg, that appears to be the actual official description of our group, as no one is quite sure what are responsibilities are or what those responsibilities entail...

Car Accident Update Department:
The other driver's insurance company has accepted liability, so even though I ended up going through my insurance company in order to get the repairs done, it shouldn't cost me anything out-of-pocket, and my rate shouldn't go up.
Unfortunately that means going through one of their certified repair shops, which means that I can't even get the damage inspected until Monday.

*I'm not trying; it just comes naturally.
**See?
***I find it humorous, at any rate.

Hacking My Own Brain And Random Departments

The other day, Friday by Rebecca Black (no link provided because I’m not that cruel) popped into Scott’s head, and, because that’s how the sickness works, he tried to pass it along to me via IM.
However, with considerable effort – I commented that I thought I’d burned over a thousand calories from the act of concentration – I managed to prevent it from infecting me.
I accomplished it by voluntarily getting the song Like a Stone by Audioslave stuck in my head:



The reason that this worked is that, while I kind of like the song, I don’t really know it that well, and, while I hate Friday, I do, unfortunately, know it well.
This was the key to keeping young Miss Black out of my head, as I know that, when presented an option, my brain will always go with the song I don’t know very well, as I tend to find it more irritating to have a song – even one I that I like – that I don’t know playing over and over again in my head, even when the alternative is much, much more annoying.
Scott described it as “hacking my own brain.”  I pointed out that it’s just a matter of having learned a few tricks in the nearly four decades that I’ve spent living with the thing.

A New (Old) Department Department:
After more than a year after mentioning that it was coming, and then never officially talking about it again, we recently had a reorg at work.  Because they decided that the employee opinion survey-identified goal of improved communication is something that they’re going to work on for what remains of the year – and also because I’m reasonably certain they had no idea what they were doing – our managers were provided with virtually no details about what was coming beyond a vague guess as to when.
Naturally, the rumors started swirling, because, as much as executives hate to have rumors circulating, it never occurs to them that there’s a very effective method for stopping the rumors before they start.  (Hint:  It’s not keeping everything top secret and flat-out refusing to answer direct questions.)
For a while it seemed as though some major changes were in store for me – though I was assured that my neck wasn’t on the chopping block – such as being moved to a completely different department.  This was a bummer, as it meant that I’d be losing out on having the great boss I’ve had for over a year and a half.
However, at the last minute, those plans changed, and the end result is that not much of anything is changing for me.  Same job, same boss, but she’ll have a different boss, and our team is undergoing yet another name change.
I did, however, lose some team members – who performed an entirely different function from whatever the hell it is that I do – as they got moved to a different manager, and three entirely new (to us) people are joining the team, presumably to the same thing that I do, whatever the hell that may be.
In the announcement that went out, the names of the five people who will now be reporting to my boss were called out, and while it wasn’t an alphabetical listing of names, there did seem to be some kind of order in how the names were listed, which made me take note of the fact that my name was listed dead last.
I copied that bit out of the announcement and e-mailed it to my boss – who was on vacation – with the subject line “Well, at least I know my place…” and said, “Whoo!  I’m Number 5!  I’m Number 5!”  (I also told her that I was glad that she was still the boss.)
She replied that maybe “5 is the new 1.”
Like I said, I’m glad she’s still the boss…
Ultimately I can’t complain too much, as this is still much better than some of the rumored changes, and while my neck was, apparently, never in any danger, there were a lot of other necks that ended up on the chopping block.

The Key Takeaway Department:
(In briefly explaining the history of the Java programming language to someone much, much younger than I am at work, I realize that I’m talking about things that happened when she was still in grade school.)
Me:  …anyway, the key takeaway from all of this is that I’m old.

Life Expectations Department:
Some things I – perhaps foolishly – expected to see in my lifetime:
Humanoid household robots
Off-world colonies
Cold fusion
The discovery of extraterrestrial life

Something I never expected to see in my life:
A Captain America movie that’s even halfway decent

The jury is still out on some of those expectations, but today I learned that I was wrong about the Captain America movie.  Not just wrong:  dead wrong.  Captain America:  The First Avenger is excellent.  I couldn’t have – and didn’t – hoped for a better Cap movie.