A couple of days after achieving my six-year work anniversary at AOL, I got laid off.
With that in mind, having just hit the same milestone at my current job two days ago, I was a bit unnerved this morning when I received an invitation to a mandatory meeting with my SVP in the afternoon, particularly given that there were several HR representatives included among the invitees.
Fortunately, while the meeting did concern a major reorganization, I was not directly impacted by it, nor was anyone on my team.
Unfortunately, the same could not be said for many of my colleagues.
Added to the general “that sucks” vibe of it was some serious awkwardness. During the meeting, they put up a color-coded org chart showing who was and was not impacted by the reorg.
Along with a handful of others, my team kind of stood out as being and island of the unaffected color in a sea of the blue that represented the people who were affected.
(My team not being affected was also specifically mentioned several times.)
Obviously my sympathy for the others wins out over my feelings of personal discomfort, but as my team and I walked out while the others were being handed pamphlets that outlined the details of their potential severance packages – they have the option to re-apply for the limited number of positions that will be available, or to try to find another job somewhere else in the company – I have to say that I felt like we were getting some pointed – and pointy – stares in our direction.
Still, while it definitely is a shame for all those affected, and they have my sympathies…well, I’ve been through this kind of thing so many times that I’m kind of inured to it. It’s pretty much the nature of the beast, and it’s a potential reality that those of us who work in the industry face every single day. (And will continue to face.)
Showing posts with label work changes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label work changes. Show all posts
Friday, January 10, 2014
Well, That Was Awkward
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Hacking My Own Brain And Random Departments
The other day, Friday by Rebecca Black (no link provided because I’m not that cruel) popped into Scott’s head, and, because that’s how the sickness works, he tried to pass it along to me via IM.
However, with considerable effort – I commented that I thought I’d burned over a thousand calories from the act of concentration – I managed to prevent it from infecting me.
I accomplished it by voluntarily getting the song Like a Stone by Audioslave stuck in my head:
The reason that this worked is that, while I kind of like the song, I don’t really know it that well, and, while I hate Friday, I do, unfortunately, know it well.
This was the key to keeping young Miss Black out of my head, as I know that, when presented an option, my brain will always go with the song I don’t know very well, as I tend to find it more irritating to have a song – even one I that I like – that I don’t know playing over and over again in my head, even when the alternative is much, much more annoying.
Scott described it as “hacking my own brain.” I pointed out that it’s just a matter of having learned a few tricks in the nearly four decades that I’ve spent living with the thing.
A New (Old) Department Department:
After more than a year after mentioning that it was coming, and then never officially talking about it again, we recently had a reorg at work. Because they decided that the employee opinion survey-identified goal of improved communication is something that they’re going to work on for what remains of the year – and also because I’m reasonably certain they had no idea what they were doing – our managers were provided with virtually no details about what was coming beyond a vague guess as to when.
Naturally, the rumors started swirling, because, as much as executives hate to have rumors circulating, it never occurs to them that there’s a very effective method for stopping the rumors before they start. (Hint: It’s not keeping everything top secret and flat-out refusing to answer direct questions.)
For a while it seemed as though some major changes were in store for me – though I was assured that my neck wasn’t on the chopping block – such as being moved to a completely different department. This was a bummer, as it meant that I’d be losing out on having the great boss I’ve had for over a year and a half.
However, at the last minute, those plans changed, and the end result is that not much of anything is changing for me. Same job, same boss, but she’ll have a different boss, and our team is undergoing yet another name change.
I did, however, lose some team members – who performed an entirely different function from whatever the hell it is that I do – as they got moved to a different manager, and three entirely new (to us) people are joining the team, presumably to the same thing that I do, whatever the hell that may be.
In the announcement that went out, the names of the five people who will now be reporting to my boss were called out, and while it wasn’t an alphabetical listing of names, there did seem to be some kind of order in how the names were listed, which made me take note of the fact that my name was listed dead last.
I copied that bit out of the announcement and e-mailed it to my boss – who was on vacation – with the subject line “Well, at least I know my place…” and said, “Whoo! I’m Number 5! I’m Number 5!” (I also told her that I was glad that she was still the boss.)
She replied that maybe “5 is the new 1.”
Like I said, I’m glad she’s still the boss…
Ultimately I can’t complain too much, as this is still much better than some of the rumored changes, and while my neck was, apparently, never in any danger, there were a lot of other necks that ended up on the chopping block.
The Key Takeaway Department:
(In briefly explaining the history of the Java programming language to someone much, much younger than I am at work, I realize that I’m talking about things that happened when she was still in grade school.)
Me: …anyway, the key takeaway from all of this is that I’m old.
Life Expectations Department:
Some things I – perhaps foolishly – expected to see in my lifetime:
Humanoid household robots
Off-world colonies
Cold fusion
The discovery of extraterrestrial life
Something I never expected to see in my life:
A Captain America movie that’s even halfway decent
The jury is still out on some of those expectations, but today I learned that I was wrong about the Captain America movie. Not just wrong: dead wrong. Captain America: The First Avenger is excellent. I couldn’t have – and didn’t – hoped for a better Cap movie.
However, with considerable effort – I commented that I thought I’d burned over a thousand calories from the act of concentration – I managed to prevent it from infecting me.
I accomplished it by voluntarily getting the song Like a Stone by Audioslave stuck in my head:
The reason that this worked is that, while I kind of like the song, I don’t really know it that well, and, while I hate Friday, I do, unfortunately, know it well.
This was the key to keeping young Miss Black out of my head, as I know that, when presented an option, my brain will always go with the song I don’t know very well, as I tend to find it more irritating to have a song – even one I that I like – that I don’t know playing over and over again in my head, even when the alternative is much, much more annoying.
Scott described it as “hacking my own brain.” I pointed out that it’s just a matter of having learned a few tricks in the nearly four decades that I’ve spent living with the thing.
A New (Old) Department Department:
After more than a year after mentioning that it was coming, and then never officially talking about it again, we recently had a reorg at work. Because they decided that the employee opinion survey-identified goal of improved communication is something that they’re going to work on for what remains of the year – and also because I’m reasonably certain they had no idea what they were doing – our managers were provided with virtually no details about what was coming beyond a vague guess as to when.
Naturally, the rumors started swirling, because, as much as executives hate to have rumors circulating, it never occurs to them that there’s a very effective method for stopping the rumors before they start. (Hint: It’s not keeping everything top secret and flat-out refusing to answer direct questions.)
For a while it seemed as though some major changes were in store for me – though I was assured that my neck wasn’t on the chopping block – such as being moved to a completely different department. This was a bummer, as it meant that I’d be losing out on having the great boss I’ve had for over a year and a half.
However, at the last minute, those plans changed, and the end result is that not much of anything is changing for me. Same job, same boss, but she’ll have a different boss, and our team is undergoing yet another name change.
I did, however, lose some team members – who performed an entirely different function from whatever the hell it is that I do – as they got moved to a different manager, and three entirely new (to us) people are joining the team, presumably to the same thing that I do, whatever the hell that may be.
In the announcement that went out, the names of the five people who will now be reporting to my boss were called out, and while it wasn’t an alphabetical listing of names, there did seem to be some kind of order in how the names were listed, which made me take note of the fact that my name was listed dead last.
I copied that bit out of the announcement and e-mailed it to my boss – who was on vacation – with the subject line “Well, at least I know my place…” and said, “Whoo! I’m Number 5! I’m Number 5!” (I also told her that I was glad that she was still the boss.)
She replied that maybe “5 is the new 1.”
Like I said, I’m glad she’s still the boss…
Ultimately I can’t complain too much, as this is still much better than some of the rumored changes, and while my neck was, apparently, never in any danger, there were a lot of other necks that ended up on the chopping block.
The Key Takeaway Department:
(In briefly explaining the history of the Java programming language to someone much, much younger than I am at work, I realize that I’m talking about things that happened when she was still in grade school.)
Me: …anyway, the key takeaway from all of this is that I’m old.
Life Expectations Department:
Some things I – perhaps foolishly – expected to see in my lifetime:
Humanoid household robots
Off-world colonies
Cold fusion
The discovery of extraterrestrial life
Something I never expected to see in my life:
A Captain America movie that’s even halfway decent
The jury is still out on some of those expectations, but today I learned that I was wrong about the Captain America movie. Not just wrong: dead wrong. Captain America: The First Avenger is excellent. I couldn’t have – and didn’t – hoped for a better Cap movie.
Sunday, August 08, 2010
No Alternative
So it was "Tax Free" weekend here in Virginia.
It didn't come at the most opportune time, as I didn't have a lot of spare cash lying around to go on a spending spree, but I did pick up a couple of things, including a portable 1 TB external hard drive, and a portable charging device that can charge laptops and cell phones.
Though less expensive than the other two things, I also picked up one of those neoprene laptop sleeves.
Why? I'll get to that.
In talking about my plans for the Baltimore Comic-Con, Dan had asked me if I had any sort of portfolio of my work. Seeing as how it's very rare that I do anything with traditional media, I certainly don't have any sort of physical portfolio. I suppose I could print some things out, but ink is pricey. I responded, "Well, there's my phone."
Knowing that I'm not an Apple fanboy, he decided to get in a little jab and said, "An iPad would be perfect for that."
I said, "Well, I suppose I could use my iPod." I didn't really like the idea - it's not that much bigger than my phone, and loading pictures onto it is kind of a hassle. I supposed that I could simply use the free WiFi at the Con - assuming there is free WiFi - and access some of my stuff onlinje via Picasaweb or Photoshop.com, but I'd prefer having local copies on hand.
"Isn't your laptop a tablet? Just bring that."
I was planning to bring the laptop along for the trip, of course, but I didn't really care for the idea of lugging it around the con.
I hated to admit it - and didn't admit it to him - but an iPad would be good for that (though I'd face the same hassles when it comes to loading pictures onto it).
And it was Tax Free weekend...
But no; I couln't bring myself to consider it.
So I did some searching online for iPad alternatives. I found one that would be perfect; a full-on Windows 7 PC in a small slate factor from Archos, the company that made the first (and second) MP3 player I had before I switched to the iPod (not because of any actual superiority - both of the Archos devices I had were great - but simply because I wanted something a little smaller).
Sadly, every review I saw of the device said that it sucked.
They had some other, similar products available - though neither of them was a full-on PC - but they had problems of their own.
Then I found a similar product from another company that looked great, and had gotten glowing reviews.
Unfortunately, it's not actually on the market yet.
I thought about it and realized that my laptop really isn't that heavy - and besides, I have been working out - and that the real problem would be carrying around my laptop bag.
Therefore I decided to just pick up one of those laptop sleeves, which would protect it while I carried it in my tote bag.
With one problem solved, I had to solve another: my laptop's been kind of wonky lately, being in need of a fresh install of Windows 7 to clear out all of the accumulated junk.
So that's what I've spent most of today doing.
It's pretty much back up to speed now, but there a few more adjustments that need to be made and applications that need to be installed.
ShamelessSelf-Promotion Department:
Early last week I learned that my promotion had finally gone through. It went into effect this past Friday. There's a substantial increase in salary and in my bonus amount - though not as substantial as I'd like as far as the salary portion - and, of course, a change in title.
Now I'm Senior Whatever-The-Hell-My-Job-Is.
It didn't come at the most opportune time, as I didn't have a lot of spare cash lying around to go on a spending spree, but I did pick up a couple of things, including a portable 1 TB external hard drive, and a portable charging device that can charge laptops and cell phones.
Though less expensive than the other two things, I also picked up one of those neoprene laptop sleeves.
Why? I'll get to that.
In talking about my plans for the Baltimore Comic-Con, Dan had asked me if I had any sort of portfolio of my work. Seeing as how it's very rare that I do anything with traditional media, I certainly don't have any sort of physical portfolio. I suppose I could print some things out, but ink is pricey. I responded, "Well, there's my phone."
Knowing that I'm not an Apple fanboy, he decided to get in a little jab and said, "An iPad would be perfect for that."
I said, "Well, I suppose I could use my iPod." I didn't really like the idea - it's not that much bigger than my phone, and loading pictures onto it is kind of a hassle. I supposed that I could simply use the free WiFi at the Con - assuming there is free WiFi - and access some of my stuff onlinje via Picasaweb or Photoshop.com, but I'd prefer having local copies on hand.
"Isn't your laptop a tablet? Just bring that."
I was planning to bring the laptop along for the trip, of course, but I didn't really care for the idea of lugging it around the con.
I hated to admit it - and didn't admit it to him - but an iPad would be good for that (though I'd face the same hassles when it comes to loading pictures onto it).
And it was Tax Free weekend...
But no; I couln't bring myself to consider it.
So I did some searching online for iPad alternatives. I found one that would be perfect; a full-on Windows 7 PC in a small slate factor from Archos, the company that made the first (and second) MP3 player I had before I switched to the iPod (not because of any actual superiority - both of the Archos devices I had were great - but simply because I wanted something a little smaller).
Sadly, every review I saw of the device said that it sucked.
They had some other, similar products available - though neither of them was a full-on PC - but they had problems of their own.
Then I found a similar product from another company that looked great, and had gotten glowing reviews.
Unfortunately, it's not actually on the market yet.
I thought about it and realized that my laptop really isn't that heavy - and besides, I have been working out - and that the real problem would be carrying around my laptop bag.
Therefore I decided to just pick up one of those laptop sleeves, which would protect it while I carried it in my tote bag.
With one problem solved, I had to solve another: my laptop's been kind of wonky lately, being in need of a fresh install of Windows 7 to clear out all of the accumulated junk.
So that's what I've spent most of today doing.
It's pretty much back up to speed now, but there a few more adjustments that need to be made and applications that need to be installed.
Shameless
Early last week I learned that my promotion had finally gone through. It went into effect this past Friday. There's a substantial increase in salary and in my bonus amount - though not as substantial as I'd like as far as the salary portion - and, of course, a change in title.
Now I'm Senior Whatever-The-Hell-My-Job-Is.
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Quick(ish) Shots (*Groan*)
I’ve probably mentioned this here before, but if I were a billionaire, beyond doing a lot of the standard things that people say they would do if they were to suddenly find themselves among the world’s richest – quitting my job, giving to charity, etc. – I would invest a significant amount of money into funding research designed for the sole purpose of giving me super powers.
I’m not joking when I say that.
I don’t really believe that it’s possible to develop super powers, but with that much money, why not pursue even the slimmest hope? Besides, I’m sure that other benefits would arise from such research, so why not?
Of course, I’m not a billionaire, and it’s unlikely that I’ll ever be even a millionaire, so it’s all irrelevant anyway.
However, if I had somewhat more money than I have now, I would consider hiring someone to come in and catalogue and archive my comics for me.
When Scott came over on Wednesday, we whiled away the time while watching movies by bagging and boarding all of the comics I’ve bought since I last bagged, boarded, and archived my collection. Based on the number of bags and boards left over, the total was somewhat less than 100 comics, but trying to organize even that number and squeeze them into the drawer boxes with the other comics was a hassle, one which I didn’t complete, and which I would happily pay someone else to do for me.
****
Speaking of not becoming a millionaire or billionaire, my new year at work got off to a pretty bumpy start.
From April up until a few months ago, the bane of my existence was this piece of busywork known as the Flash Report, a report that I – and one other person – had to put together every week and present to our executive leadership. When they finally hired someone solely for the purpose of doing the Flash Report and I had transitioned out of the role, I breathed a happy sigh.
Unfortunately, that person has been moved onto another project, and I’ve been roped back into working on the Flash Report.
In all honesty, I probably wouldn’t mind doing the Flash Report so much – even though it is a lot of work – if I wasn’t also expected to keep performing my actual job (whatever that is).
I keep being told that “at least it’s good visibility for you.” I guess that’s true, but so far I haven’t seen any benefit from that visibility, and, really, what good does it do me to be “visible” to our Senior Vice President when he seems to be convinced that he’s seeing someone named Jim?
****
Also on the work front, starting tomorrow my boss is no longer my boss, as she’s been moved to another position (along with one of my co-workers). We don’t have a new boss yet, and we don’t really know if we’re just going to get a different boss and continue doing what we’ve been doing, get merged with another group and continue doing what we’ve been doing, or if we will continue doing what we’ve been doing.
In any case, I like my boss a lot, and our team has really “clicked” over the last several months, so I’m going to miss her and the cohesiveness of our team.
****
While I’ve seen a couple of the sequels, I’d never watched the original Death Wish until I recorded it off of Cinemax the other night.
It was…interesting, and sort of thought-provoking.
And quip-provoking. (Spoilers, I guess, for a movie that’s nearly as old as I am) When Bronson decided to stick with the vigilante thing even after the cops had figured out who he was and basically told him they’d give him a pass on the killings provided that he put his gun away, I said, to no one, since there was no one else here, “I guess murder is like eating Pringles; once you pop you can’t stop.”
The movie raised a lot of questions about the nature of civilized society, all sorts of “slippery slope” problems, and I was kind of disappointed in its failure to really explore those themes.
Really, it was just an extended version of that joke that states that “a Liberal is just a Conservative who hasn’t been mugged yet.”
One thing that stood out about the movie, though – apart from a young Jeff Goldblum wearing a Jughead hat – was that even though it was made nearly 40 years ago, it had a scene focusing on that old Conservative chestnut about the Liberals taking away our guns, making it seem as though it was a foregone conclusion and was going to happen any minute now (kind of like The Rapture).
Nearly forty years later, guns are still plentiful and readily available, yet people are still…err…shooting off about this.
Okay, sure, there are waiting periods and other restrictions, but it’s still possible to purchase and own firearms.
And really, can anyone point me to any real, concerted effort to take away your guns that’s ever had widespread support? Almost a year after he was sworn in, has Obama made any sort of move towards your guns? At all? Like so many people said he was going to?
I’m not really trying to get political here, but I guess I just want to say that, sure, maybe you feel that you need to keep a watchful eye on your Constitutional rights, and, you know, that’s all well and good, but maybe you shouldn’t get quite so…*Sigh*…up in arms about it unless and until someone actually legitimately does try to infringe on your rights.
Just a thought.
For the record, while I don’t own a gun myself, I do support the rights of citizens to own guns because a. it’s in the Constitution and b. Sweeping gun control laws would never work.
Personally, I’ve never really seen the appeal of guns.
When we were in line at the concession stand when we were seeing Avatar, Scott and Casey were talking about guns and the shooting range, and Scott turned to me and said, “Have you ever shot a gun? I’m sure you have, growing up in Michigan.”
I nodded and said, “I’ve killed things.”
“Oh, right, hunting.”
And I thought, “Yeah…hunting. Sure, that’s the ticket.”
I kid, I kid.
But yeah, I grew up in a house with guns, took a hunter’s safety class, and hunted.
In going hunting I learned something: I have no interest in hunting.
Or, more specifically, I have no interest in killing things for fun. And as for shooting guns…meh.
It just doesn’t do anything for me.
And, again, not really faulting anyone who is into guns or hunting or whatever, I’m just talking about my own experiences.
I suppose a lot of that is my dad’s influence. He’d been a hunter most of his life, but one day when I was still relatively young he went out into the woods, spotted a deer, had the shot lined up in his sights, looked at the deer, decided he just didn't have the heart for it, and never hunted again.
So for me, hunting was never any sort of father-son bonding experience, and honestly, the first time I ever heard him tell someone that story about not taking the shot when he had it – and was greeted with an uncomprehending stare in response – it made me respect him.
So why did I bother trying hunting when I came of age? Well, it’s sort of expected where I grew up, and there have been random times in my life when I’ve attempted – without success, obviously – to be normal.
Hell, there was even a period when I tried watching football in an effort to force myself to learn to like it.
It didn’t take.
I actually attribute a lot of my lack of interest in sports to my dad as well. I mean, he was into sports – basketball was his game – but again, it wasn’t a father-son bonding thing for us, in large part because watching sports was something my dad only did if he had the time for it, and usually he didn't.
Of course, I suppose it all boils down to the fact that my dad wasn't the kind of person who would try to force his kids to follow a specific path.
I suppose you might wonder, then, “Well, what did you and your dad bond over? Did you bond?”
In answer to the second question, yes. As to what we bonded over, it’s hard to say, but I think having a similar sense of humor played a big part in it. And we did spend a fair amount of time together working.
Anyway, back to Death Wish. One of the things that made the movie such a hit, and inspired so many terrible sequels, is that it plugged directly into an idea that is at the core of a lot of people, which is the belief that, when all else fails, they will stand up and be heroes and do what needs to be done, the rules of society be damned.
It’s obviously a powerful belief, and is one that causes movies like Death Wish to resonate.
How much bearing that belief has on reality is another question entirely, and I’m sure there are as many answers to it as there are people.
Still, a while ago, while thinking about this subject, I came up with the following, which I think may be my finest comedic construction : Most men like to think that, below the surface veneer of civilized behavior, at their core, they’re just like Charles Bronson in Death Wish, but the reality is that most of them, underneath it all, are more like Charles Nelson Reilly on The Match Game.
I’m not joking when I say that.
I don’t really believe that it’s possible to develop super powers, but with that much money, why not pursue even the slimmest hope? Besides, I’m sure that other benefits would arise from such research, so why not?
Of course, I’m not a billionaire, and it’s unlikely that I’ll ever be even a millionaire, so it’s all irrelevant anyway.
However, if I had somewhat more money than I have now, I would consider hiring someone to come in and catalogue and archive my comics for me.
When Scott came over on Wednesday, we whiled away the time while watching movies by bagging and boarding all of the comics I’ve bought since I last bagged, boarded, and archived my collection. Based on the number of bags and boards left over, the total was somewhat less than 100 comics, but trying to organize even that number and squeeze them into the drawer boxes with the other comics was a hassle, one which I didn’t complete, and which I would happily pay someone else to do for me.
****
Speaking of not becoming a millionaire or billionaire, my new year at work got off to a pretty bumpy start.
From April up until a few months ago, the bane of my existence was this piece of busywork known as the Flash Report, a report that I – and one other person – had to put together every week and present to our executive leadership. When they finally hired someone solely for the purpose of doing the Flash Report and I had transitioned out of the role, I breathed a happy sigh.
Unfortunately, that person has been moved onto another project, and I’ve been roped back into working on the Flash Report.
In all honesty, I probably wouldn’t mind doing the Flash Report so much – even though it is a lot of work – if I wasn’t also expected to keep performing my actual job (whatever that is).
I keep being told that “at least it’s good visibility for you.” I guess that’s true, but so far I haven’t seen any benefit from that visibility, and, really, what good does it do me to be “visible” to our Senior Vice President when he seems to be convinced that he’s seeing someone named Jim?
****
Also on the work front, starting tomorrow my boss is no longer my boss, as she’s been moved to another position (along with one of my co-workers). We don’t have a new boss yet, and we don’t really know if we’re just going to get a different boss and continue doing what we’ve been doing, get merged with another group and continue doing what we’ve been doing, or if we will continue doing what we’ve been doing.
In any case, I like my boss a lot, and our team has really “clicked” over the last several months, so I’m going to miss her and the cohesiveness of our team.
****
While I’ve seen a couple of the sequels, I’d never watched the original Death Wish until I recorded it off of Cinemax the other night.
It was…interesting, and sort of thought-provoking.
And quip-provoking. (Spoilers, I guess, for a movie that’s nearly as old as I am) When Bronson decided to stick with the vigilante thing even after the cops had figured out who he was and basically told him they’d give him a pass on the killings provided that he put his gun away, I said, to no one, since there was no one else here, “I guess murder is like eating Pringles; once you pop you can’t stop.”
The movie raised a lot of questions about the nature of civilized society, all sorts of “slippery slope” problems, and I was kind of disappointed in its failure to really explore those themes.
Really, it was just an extended version of that joke that states that “a Liberal is just a Conservative who hasn’t been mugged yet.”
One thing that stood out about the movie, though – apart from a young Jeff Goldblum wearing a Jughead hat – was that even though it was made nearly 40 years ago, it had a scene focusing on that old Conservative chestnut about the Liberals taking away our guns, making it seem as though it was a foregone conclusion and was going to happen any minute now (kind of like The Rapture).
Nearly forty years later, guns are still plentiful and readily available, yet people are still…err…shooting off about this.
Okay, sure, there are waiting periods and other restrictions, but it’s still possible to purchase and own firearms.
And really, can anyone point me to any real, concerted effort to take away your guns that’s ever had widespread support? Almost a year after he was sworn in, has Obama made any sort of move towards your guns? At all? Like so many people said he was going to?
I’m not really trying to get political here, but I guess I just want to say that, sure, maybe you feel that you need to keep a watchful eye on your Constitutional rights, and, you know, that’s all well and good, but maybe you shouldn’t get quite so…*Sigh*…up in arms about it unless and until someone actually legitimately does try to infringe on your rights.
Just a thought.
For the record, while I don’t own a gun myself, I do support the rights of citizens to own guns because a. it’s in the Constitution and b. Sweeping gun control laws would never work.
Personally, I’ve never really seen the appeal of guns.
When we were in line at the concession stand when we were seeing Avatar, Scott and Casey were talking about guns and the shooting range, and Scott turned to me and said, “Have you ever shot a gun? I’m sure you have, growing up in Michigan.”
I nodded and said, “I’ve killed things.”
“Oh, right, hunting.”
And I thought, “Yeah…hunting. Sure, that’s the ticket.”
I kid, I kid.
But yeah, I grew up in a house with guns, took a hunter’s safety class, and hunted.
In going hunting I learned something: I have no interest in hunting.
Or, more specifically, I have no interest in killing things for fun. And as for shooting guns…meh.
It just doesn’t do anything for me.
And, again, not really faulting anyone who is into guns or hunting or whatever, I’m just talking about my own experiences.
I suppose a lot of that is my dad’s influence. He’d been a hunter most of his life, but one day when I was still relatively young he went out into the woods, spotted a deer, had the shot lined up in his sights, looked at the deer, decided he just didn't have the heart for it, and never hunted again.
So for me, hunting was never any sort of father-son bonding experience, and honestly, the first time I ever heard him tell someone that story about not taking the shot when he had it – and was greeted with an uncomprehending stare in response – it made me respect him.
So why did I bother trying hunting when I came of age? Well, it’s sort of expected where I grew up, and there have been random times in my life when I’ve attempted – without success, obviously – to be normal.
Hell, there was even a period when I tried watching football in an effort to force myself to learn to like it.
It didn’t take.
I actually attribute a lot of my lack of interest in sports to my dad as well. I mean, he was into sports – basketball was his game – but again, it wasn’t a father-son bonding thing for us, in large part because watching sports was something my dad only did if he had the time for it, and usually he didn't.
Of course, I suppose it all boils down to the fact that my dad wasn't the kind of person who would try to force his kids to follow a specific path.
I suppose you might wonder, then, “Well, what did you and your dad bond over? Did you bond?”
In answer to the second question, yes. As to what we bonded over, it’s hard to say, but I think having a similar sense of humor played a big part in it. And we did spend a fair amount of time together working.
Anyway, back to Death Wish. One of the things that made the movie such a hit, and inspired so many terrible sequels, is that it plugged directly into an idea that is at the core of a lot of people, which is the belief that, when all else fails, they will stand up and be heroes and do what needs to be done, the rules of society be damned.
It’s obviously a powerful belief, and is one that causes movies like Death Wish to resonate.
How much bearing that belief has on reality is another question entirely, and I’m sure there are as many answers to it as there are people.
Still, a while ago, while thinking about this subject, I came up with the following, which I think may be my finest comedic construction : Most men like to think that, below the surface veneer of civilized behavior, at their core, they’re just like Charles Bronson in Death Wish, but the reality is that most of them, underneath it all, are more like Charles Nelson Reilly on The Match Game.
Monday, May 21, 2007
It Still Beats Being Matter Eater Lad
In the Legion of Super Heroes comics of years past there would regularly be an issue in which super-powered teens from all over the galaxy would come to try out for membership in the Legion, demonstrating the effectiveness – or ineffectiveness – of their powers in the hopes that the Legion would see them as an asset.
Sort of like American Idol for super heroes, and, just like Idol, the majority of people trying out for the Legion ended up embarrassing themselves, demonstrating some of the lamest, most useless powers ever seen, such as Arm Fall Off Boy, whose power was that he could make his left arm fall off at will, and then use it as a club.
I’m not kidding.
And there was the Polecat, whose power was to stink (in more ways than one).
Of course, not all rejected heroes had lame powers. Some had control issues, like Polar Boy, who could generate extreme cold, which could be a genuinely useful power, but who lacked precision in its application.
Others had limitations, like Night Lass, who had superhuman strength, but only at night.
Still others had abilities that were already possessed by existing Legion members. This was a problem, as one requirement for membership was that you must have a unique power that no other Legionnaire possesses.
Eventually several of these Legion rejects got together and formed their own team. Dubbing themselves The Legion of Substitute Heroes, they made themselves available whenever the regular Legion was otherwise occupied or was somehow incapacitated.
The were also available for birthdays, graduations, and bar mitzvahs.
So yeah, if you had an emergency situation, but didn’t really need the best of the best, or the best of the second-best, or even the best of the worst, you could always put out the call for the Legion of Substitute Heroes.
What’s the point of all this silly comics nostalgia?
Well, today we had a meeting at work which outlined the new structure of job responsibilities and the new teams handling these responsibilities.
I learned that I’m on the team that pretty much equates to the Legion of Substitute Heroes.
I’m not clear on all of the details yet, but it looks as though I’ll be doing some of the same things I’ve been doing all along, though it’s entirely possible that a big chunk of job responsibility is actually missing and no longer being handled by anyone, as there seemed to be no mention of it being handled by anyone, and many of the other job responsibilities appear to be doing some of the shitty jobs that none of the other groups want to do, which is nothing new, really.
But apart from the job itself, it was more a matter of looking at the names of the other benchwarmers who are going to be on the team with me that made me feel like a Legion reject.
I think my super hero name should be something like Shows Up For Work Boy.
Oh well. It’s a paycheck, and it’s the same shift.
I suppose I should start seriously looking for something else, but it’s hard to muster up the motivation to do that when I know it’ll mean going to a five day work week. The thought is just too horrible to consider.
Sort of like American Idol for super heroes, and, just like Idol, the majority of people trying out for the Legion ended up embarrassing themselves, demonstrating some of the lamest, most useless powers ever seen, such as Arm Fall Off Boy, whose power was that he could make his left arm fall off at will, and then use it as a club.
I’m not kidding.
And there was the Polecat, whose power was to stink (in more ways than one).
Of course, not all rejected heroes had lame powers. Some had control issues, like Polar Boy, who could generate extreme cold, which could be a genuinely useful power, but who lacked precision in its application.
Others had limitations, like Night Lass, who had superhuman strength, but only at night.
Still others had abilities that were already possessed by existing Legion members. This was a problem, as one requirement for membership was that you must have a unique power that no other Legionnaire possesses.
Eventually several of these Legion rejects got together and formed their own team. Dubbing themselves The Legion of Substitute Heroes, they made themselves available whenever the regular Legion was otherwise occupied or was somehow incapacitated.
The were also available for birthdays, graduations, and bar mitzvahs.
So yeah, if you had an emergency situation, but didn’t really need the best of the best, or the best of the second-best, or even the best of the worst, you could always put out the call for the Legion of Substitute Heroes.
What’s the point of all this silly comics nostalgia?
Well, today we had a meeting at work which outlined the new structure of job responsibilities and the new teams handling these responsibilities.
I learned that I’m on the team that pretty much equates to the Legion of Substitute Heroes.
I’m not clear on all of the details yet, but it looks as though I’ll be doing some of the same things I’ve been doing all along, though it’s entirely possible that a big chunk of job responsibility is actually missing and no longer being handled by anyone, as there seemed to be no mention of it being handled by anyone, and many of the other job responsibilities appear to be doing some of the shitty jobs that none of the other groups want to do, which is nothing new, really.
But apart from the job itself, it was more a matter of looking at the names of the other benchwarmers who are going to be on the team with me that made me feel like a Legion reject.
I think my super hero name should be something like Shows Up For Work Boy.
Oh well. It’s a paycheck, and it’s the same shift.
I suppose I should start seriously looking for something else, but it’s hard to muster up the motivation to do that when I know it’ll mean going to a five day work week. The thought is just too horrible to consider.
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