I don’t understand how I can climb into bed utterly exhausted because I didn’t get enough sleep on the previous night and end up tossing and turning and getting even less sleep.
Well, I suppose the fact that I’m Jon is sufficient explanation.
I like the original Sci-Fi Channel series Eureka. In fact, before I finally got into Battlestar Galactica, it had been the only thing I watched on Sci-Fi.
This fact would, presumably, lead some to wonder why it was that when I was reminded by an ad on IMDb that season three starts tonight I would exclaim, “Goddammit!”Of course the explanation for this is that it’s yet another hour of my time that will be eaten up by watching TV, and with last night’s recorded episodes of The Closer (which was, as always, excellent; if you’re not watching this show, you should be), The Daily Show, and The Colbert Report, as well as the 7:00 episode of The Simpsons, I’ve already used up two and a half hours watching TV.
I guess I just have to content myself with the realization that it’s not as though I would do anything worthwhile with the time.
I Get Phone Calls? Department:
Saturday night, while watching TV (of course), I got a phone call, which is, as most of you know, unusual.
What made it even more unusual was that it was a recorded message – that isn’t the unusual part; most of the calls I get are recorded messages trying to sell something or other – from Pastor something or other of the “Hurricane Church.” First time I’ve ever gotten a call from someone shilling a church.
At least, I’m assuming that was what the recording was shilling; I hung up as soon as I heard the ending “ch” on “Church.”
Sunday night I was sitting at the computer when my phone rang. This time it was an actual person, in this case a woman. A woman who was chewing some food as she said, “Hey, is crunch crunch there?”
To which I responded, “I’m sorry, who?”
This netted me a sarcastic response of, “Your wife?” (It was preceded by that condescending “god-you’re-so-stupid” tongue clicking sound that chicks make when they want to make it clear that they think you’re a complete idiot and are, in every way, beneath contempt.)
“I don’t have one of those.”
“Oh, sorry I must have the wrong crunch crunch.”
Yesterday evening my phone rang once, then went silent. The call duration wasn’t even sufficient for my Caller ID to register the fact that I’d gotten a call.
A half an hour later it rang again.
When I answered, a young woman said, “Hello, my name is Allison, and I’m calling for [some survey company]. Let me assure you that this is not – ”
I said, “Let me assure you that I’m not going to listen.”
Well, I didn’t say it so much as I just hung up on her.
Earlier this evening my mother called, making it four nights in a row that I got a phone call. This may be a new record.
Today’s Popsicle Stick Wisdom:
I had two Popsicles earlier this evening, and the riddles on the sticks served as a reminder of the fact that the simplest solutions are often the most elegant. To wit:
What time is it when you’re out of ice cream? Time to get more ice cream.
What did the bug say when someone stepped on it? Nothing. Bugs can’t talk.
This is a noble truth that we forget all too often as we struggle with the complex issues that we face every day, and it serves to demonstrate the fact that Popsicles are the answer to all of life’s questions.
Showing posts with label popsicles are the answer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label popsicles are the answer. Show all posts
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Monday, June 30, 2008
Why Do I Even HAVE Weekends?
I know I’m supposed to be the most miserable, unhappy person in the world, or at least that’s the apparent face that I show to the world, and I guess that to hear me tell it the Universe doesn’t piss in anyone’s Corn Flakes as often or to the same extent as it does in mine, but the thing is, I don’t eat Corn Flakes, and I honestly find the various mishaps and setbacks I have in life more amusing than depressing.
Most of the time, anyway.
Eventually.
Anyway, my actual point here is that while I’m presumably in a constant state of morbid despair, the fact of the matter is that it really doesn’t take much to amuse me, or to suffuse my entire being with moments – and they generally are only moments – of transcendent, and, frankly, child-like joy.
By way of example, last night I was eating a Popsicle. This particular kind of Popsicle has a riddle/joke printed on the stick, with the answer/punch line revealed only when you finish the Popsicle itself.
Before getting started on the task of actually consuming the Popsicle, I read the riddle/joke printed on the visible portion of the stick, and upon having the answer/punch line revealed through my efforts, I was inordinately delighted to discover that I had correctly guessed the answer.
(What did the breeze say to the screen? Just passing through.)
Seriously, it was the highlight of my day. Possibly the week.
I wasn’t as successful with the next one I had, though. After reading the question, I could not immediately come up with an answer, and said, “Hmm…I’ll have to think about that.” Sadly, my ruminations were not up to the task of solving this particular puzzle, but, buoyed by my earlier success, I didn’t let that get me down.
(What do elves use to make sandwiches? Shortbread.)
Anyway, I guess what I’m trying to say is that sometimes the smallest victory can be the sweetest. Or, you know, the sourest; it was a sour apple-flavored Popsicle, after all.
Getting back into character, I have to say that I was annoyed upon waking up this morning and realizing that it was already Monday. I mean, sometimes I wonder why I even have weekends; they seem to end almost as soon as they begin.
Not much of note happened at work. One of the meetings I had ran a lot shorter than expected, which would have allowed me to actually go to another meeting with which it otherwise would have conflicted – if said meeting hadn’t been canceled (another little nugget of joy in and of itself).
There was something that I was thinking about doing tonight, but feeling kind of tired and just generally not up to the prospect of doing anything, I decided against it. Maybe next week.
I’m being deliberately vague about this “something.” It’s not anything terribly exciting or mysterious, but there’s a good chance I might never do it, so I’m reluctant to mention what it is, but I suppose it probably would have made more sense to not mention it all. Oh well.
Life is full of contradictions and less than satisfactory answers.
Especially when those answers can’t be found on a Popsicle stick.
Bonus Video Department:
While looking for a video for my theme song the other day – one that was “official” and not fan-made – I found this other interesting Nine Inch Nails video featuring a rehearsal of the song Just Like You Imagined.
Some of you may recognize it as the song in the trailers for 300.
I just find the video kind of fascinating to watch, as, no matter what you think of Trent Reznor and his music, you have to admire his attention to detail and his ability to bring his ideas to life.
See for yourself:
Most of the time, anyway.
Eventually.
Anyway, my actual point here is that while I’m presumably in a constant state of morbid despair, the fact of the matter is that it really doesn’t take much to amuse me, or to suffuse my entire being with moments – and they generally are only moments – of transcendent, and, frankly, child-like joy.
By way of example, last night I was eating a Popsicle. This particular kind of Popsicle has a riddle/joke printed on the stick, with the answer/punch line revealed only when you finish the Popsicle itself.
Before getting started on the task of actually consuming the Popsicle, I read the riddle/joke printed on the visible portion of the stick, and upon having the answer/punch line revealed through my efforts, I was inordinately delighted to discover that I had correctly guessed the answer.
(What did the breeze say to the screen? Just passing through.)
Seriously, it was the highlight of my day. Possibly the week.
I wasn’t as successful with the next one I had, though. After reading the question, I could not immediately come up with an answer, and said, “Hmm…I’ll have to think about that.” Sadly, my ruminations were not up to the task of solving this particular puzzle, but, buoyed by my earlier success, I didn’t let that get me down.
(What do elves use to make sandwiches? Shortbread.)
Anyway, I guess what I’m trying to say is that sometimes the smallest victory can be the sweetest. Or, you know, the sourest; it was a sour apple-flavored Popsicle, after all.
Getting back into character, I have to say that I was annoyed upon waking up this morning and realizing that it was already Monday. I mean, sometimes I wonder why I even have weekends; they seem to end almost as soon as they begin.
Not much of note happened at work. One of the meetings I had ran a lot shorter than expected, which would have allowed me to actually go to another meeting with which it otherwise would have conflicted – if said meeting hadn’t been canceled (another little nugget of joy in and of itself).
There was something that I was thinking about doing tonight, but feeling kind of tired and just generally not up to the prospect of doing anything, I decided against it. Maybe next week.
I’m being deliberately vague about this “something.” It’s not anything terribly exciting or mysterious, but there’s a good chance I might never do it, so I’m reluctant to mention what it is, but I suppose it probably would have made more sense to not mention it all. Oh well.
Life is full of contradictions and less than satisfactory answers.
Especially when those answers can’t be found on a Popsicle stick.
Bonus Video Department:
While looking for a video for my theme song the other day – one that was “official” and not fan-made – I found this other interesting Nine Inch Nails video featuring a rehearsal of the song Just Like You Imagined.
Some of you may recognize it as the song in the trailers for 300.
I just find the video kind of fascinating to watch, as, no matter what you think of Trent Reznor and his music, you have to admire his attention to detail and his ability to bring his ideas to life.
See for yourself:
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