A Facebook Broadcast Premiere

I've been trying in vain to get my Cintiq demonstration video to post here.
The video upload progress thing just keeps spinning and it's clear that nothing is actually happening. No idea why, and, of course, the Internet failed miserably at providing any help.
The video is in an accepted format - .wmv - and, at about 7 MB is well below the 100 MB file size limit. I've tried uploading it in multiple browsers - including Google Crhome - with no luck, so I'm forced to conclude that the Blogger video upload feature sucks.
In any case, I posted it to Facebook. It's set to be viewable by "everyone," but I'm not sure if that includes people who aren't on Facebook, but, if you're dying to see it, click on the link to my Facebook profile and give it a shot.
(Hmm, the answer appears to be, "No, people who aren't on Facebook can't see it.")
Not much new or interesting happened today, or, really, since the last time I posted anything substantial.
I went to work, stopped at the Chiropractor on the way home, got home, sat down and watched some recorded TV, dozed in the chair, ate some kind of dinner, watched more TV, posted the video to Facebook, and that pretty much covers it.

Jon's Understatement of the Day Department:
At the Chiropractor, the doctor performed an adjustment that led to a whole lot of cracking and popping and hurt like hell. I summed up the experience by saying, "Well, that was unpleasant."

Putting Cute Animals In Their Place Department:
Scott directed me to this site today, a blog devoted to viciously tearing into various animals for daring to be so goddamned adorable. It's a bizarre concept that's brilliantly executed. Warning: contains language.

The Gaiman Report Department:
Author Neil Gaiman will be the guest on tonight's episode of The Colbert Report. What more do you need to know?

Action Is My Middle Name. Wait, I Don't Have A Middle Name. But Anyway, Waffles!

When I got home today I watched last night’s Daily Show and Colbert Report, then kicked the weekend into high gear by taking a nap.
At least tonight I remembered to eat something. I usually have some kind of snack when I get home, and then eat dinner while watching The Simpsons at 7, but my mom called as soon as I got home, which delayed my snacking, so by the time 7 rolled around I wasn’t hungry, and I went upstairs to do some stuff on the computer – paying bills, writing a blog entry, etc. – thinking that I’d get around to eating later. I never really got hungry, so I just sort of forgot about it, and didn’t actually notice that I was hungry until I was in bed, at which point I said “Screw it,” and went to sleep.
Needless to say, I was glad when I got in to work and found that for this month’s “Healthy Breakfast” we actually had waffles and sausage, in addition to the usual selection of fruits, bagels, muffins, and donuts.
So I loaded up on a little bit of everything.
In any case, not much else is going on. I’m hoping that this will be the weekend on which I finally build up enough motivation to get a haircut.
That should be exciting.

TV Is Devouring My Not-So Precious Time

I don’t understand how I can climb into bed utterly exhausted because I didn’t get enough sleep on the previous night and end up tossing and turning and getting even less sleep.
Well, I suppose the fact that I’m Jon is sufficient explanation.
I like the original Sci-Fi Channel series Eureka. In fact, before I finally got into Battlestar Galactica, it had been the only thing I watched on Sci-Fi.
This fact would, presumably, lead some to wonder why it was that when I was reminded by an ad on IMDb that season three starts tonight I would exclaim, “Goddammit!”Of course the explanation for this is that it’s yet another hour of my time that will be eaten up by watching TV, and with last night’s recorded episodes of The Closer (which was, as always, excellent; if you’re not watching this show, you should be), The Daily Show, and The Colbert Report, as well as the 7:00 episode of The Simpsons, I’ve already used up two and a half hours watching TV.
I guess I just have to content myself with the realization that it’s not as though I would do anything worthwhile with the time.

I Get Phone Calls? Department:
Saturday night, while watching TV (of course), I got a phone call, which is, as most of you know, unusual.
What made it even more unusual was that it was a recorded message – that isn’t the unusual part; most of the calls I get are recorded messages trying to sell something or other – from Pastor something or other of the “Hurricane Church.” First time I’ve ever gotten a call from someone shilling a church.
At least, I’m assuming that was what the recording was shilling; I hung up as soon as I heard the ending “ch” on “Church.”
Sunday night I was sitting at the computer when my phone rang. This time it was an actual person, in this case a woman. A woman who was chewing some food as she said, “Hey, is crunch crunch there?”
To which I responded, “I’m sorry, who?”
This netted me a sarcastic response of, “Your wife?” (It was preceded by that condescending “god-you’re-so-stupid” tongue clicking sound that chicks make when they want to make it clear that they think you’re a complete idiot and are, in every way, beneath contempt.)
“I don’t have one of those.”
“Oh, sorry I must have the wrong crunch crunch.”
Yesterday evening my phone rang once, then went silent. The call duration wasn’t even sufficient for my Caller ID to register the fact that I’d gotten a call.
A half an hour later it rang again.
When I answered, a young woman said, “Hello, my name is Allison, and I’m calling for [some survey company]. Let me assure you that this is not – ”
I said, “Let me assure you that I’m not going to listen.”
Well, I didn’t say it so much as I just hung up on her.
Earlier this evening my mother called, making it four nights in a row that I got a phone call. This may be a new record.

Today’s Popsicle Stick Wisdom:
I had two Popsicles earlier this evening, and the riddles on the sticks served as a reminder of the fact that the simplest solutions are often the most elegant. To wit:

What time is it when you’re out of ice cream? Time to get more ice cream.
What did the bug say when someone stepped on it? Nothing. Bugs can’t talk.

This is a noble truth that we forget all too often as we struggle with the complex issues that we face every day, and it serves to demonstrate the fact that Popsicles are the answer to all of life’s questions.

Padding, Yes. But ENTERTAINING Padding.

To pad things out a little more, here are some great clips from The Daily Show and The Colbert Report.

Up first, a brilliant skewering of the state of our national news media:



Up next is Stephen's interview with journalist Philip Weiss, who wrote an article about how there is no instinct for monogamy. Pay special attention close to the end, when Stephen absolutely nails him (and clearly pisses him off):

Quesada On Colbert (Again)

Marvel Comics Editor-In-Chief Joe Quesada breaks some bad news (and good news) to Stephen Colbert:



Interesting coincidence: the Captain America costume re-design - as well as the cover of the issue featured on the show - was done by superstar artist Alex Ross. The name of Stephen's guest that night? Alex Ross, albeit an entirely different one.

Bonus Colbert video featuring a true blast from the past:



Also, I enjoyed this quote from Mark Evanier's blog:

Don't you feel smart? Rudy Giuliani has spent more than $30 million dollars trying to become President of the United States. You've spent nothing and you have almost the same chance that he does.

Colbert On Trustworthiness

Won't Someone Please Think Of The Threshold Readers?

I honestly don’t understand how people can work a M-F, 9-5 style job and actually manage to accomplish anything.
I mean, just watching a little TV takes up my entire evening, especially since I’m too tired to stay up to watch The A Daily Show and The Colbert Report and end up recording them and then watching them the next night.
It’s madness, I tell you.
Sure, it’s not like I have anything that I actually need to accomplish in an evening, but that’s hardly the point.
Of course, you’re the real victims here, as I find myself too tired to write anything of substance.
One thing of note that happened today was that Nita was surprised to learn how old I am, as she’d assumed that I was under 30. I guess the dye job worked.
Anyway, I have more TV to watch before bedtime, so that’s going to do it for this entry. Maybe I’ll eventually get the hang of this whole not having my days free thing.

I Scream, You Scream, We All Scream For Stephen Colbert's AmeriCone Dream

Ever since it was announced by Ben & Jerry themselves on The Colbert Report I've been wanting to try the ice cream flavor made in Stephen's honor, Stephen Colbert's AmeriCone Dream.
I have, however, been consistently denied the pleasure, as no store in the area seems to carry it.
I suspect that this is no mere ordering problem, but rather a vast conspiracy.
There are forces out there that hate America, and would do anything to prevent the world from getting a taste of freedom (in ice cream form).
Who could be behind this perfidious assault on our liberty, you ask?
Who else?

Yes, Beauty Does Have An Age Limit, And It's Lower Than The Speed Limit

After titling my last post it occurred to me that maybe I really should have written it on my cell phone.
It certainly would have been a lot shorter if I had.
On the topic of short posts, though, in my desire to make a “clever” entry about 300 by limiting myself to three hundred words, I was forced to edit out one of my favorite bits from my original entry, so I’m including it here:

So I went to see 300 today, just like I said I would.
The prophecy has been fulfilled!
Sadly, though, sad “prophecy” did not involve a hot naked girl gyrating rhythmically while stoned out of her mid the way the visit to the oracle did in the movie, but then, very little in my life involves hot naked girls gyrating rhythmically while stoned out of their minds, so what else is new?

Also edited out of the final version was a reference to Frank Miller’s collaborator on 300, colorist Lynn Varley, who also worked on the backgrounds of the movie, and who was, last I knew, also Miller’s wife, though her Wikipedia entry says that she is his “former” wife.
I also left out a lot of my thoughts on the movie, but whatever.
On last night’s Colbert Report, Stephen, who in response to the news of Captain America’s death, had harsh words about Cap and his failure to back the government in the recent Civil War storyline, read a letter he’d received from Marvel Editor-in-Chief (and former Report guest) Joe Quesada, in which it was revealed that Cap had bequeathed his indestructible shield to Colbert.
Stepping away from the illusion, from what I read online the shield given to Stephen had apparently once hung in the office of the late Mark Gruenwald.
Colbert’s been getting a lot of love from Marvel lately; in one issue of Civil War, a bus bearing an ad for the Report featuring a photo of Stephen is clearly visible during a climactic battle scene, and Stephen himself appears in an issue of the Peter David-scripted Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man.
Speaking of Spidey, the only worthwhile trailer at 300 was the new one for Spider-Man 3. Looks like we definitely get to see some Venom action. Definitely looking forward to that one, and I was glad to see the trailer.
One thing I wasn’t glad to see (apart from all of the guys walking around in leather Speedos in the movie – though considering that they weren’t even wearing that much in the comics, I was grateful they had them on) was an ad that aired before previews started for Dove (the soap, not the ice cream).
It featured images of various women in the nude (with strategic arm and leg placement) while the text proclaimed that each one was “too old to appear in an anti-aging commercial.”
Now normally I’m all for nude women on the big screen (and there were more than a few in the movie proper, including Lena Headey), but the fact of the matter was that the women pictured in the commercial were too old to appear in an anti-aging commercial. Way too old.
The text went on to explain that it actually wasn’t an anti-aging commercial, it was a pro-aging commercial. Then it said something like, “Beauty doesn’t have an age limit.”
I had to conclude that the people writing the text weren’t watching the same commercial I was because there very clearly is an age limit.
Yeah, yeah, I know, I’m not prize pig myself, and glass houses, and whatever, but the fact is that you don’t see me naked on the big screen with text proclaiming me beautiful, and that this is a good thing is something that we can all agree on.
Anyway, the good nudity in the movie largely made up for the bad that came before it, but even so, at the very least they could have slapped some leather Speedos on the biddies.
I understand that the point of the ad (and the entire campaign) is to change attitudes and opinions about beauty and aging, but guess what? It’s not going to happen.
Especially when you make people look at 20 foot high images of leathery, liver-spotted naked skin.

The Power Of Parody

I can't find an easy way to link directly to the clips, but go here and check out Stephen Colbert's interview with author Dinesh D'Souza.
The interesting thing about this interview is that you can see just how effective Colbert's Ultra-Conservative persona can be in pointing out the fundamental flaws in Ultra-Conservativism. By agreeing with D'Souza - who has written a book claiming that Liberalism and a lack of "traditional American values" is responsible for 9/11 - and, in fact, agreeing with him to the extreme, Colbert draws attention to just how ridiculous D'Souza's position really is much more effectively than arguing from a contrary position ever could.
(Though Jon Stewart did a fine job of skewering him a while back in a Daily Show interview.)
The other thing that I find amusing is that someone named Dinesh D'Souza is touting traditional American values. I'm sure he fits right in with the traditional values crowd.
Most people who espouse "traditional values" would be afraid to get on the same plane with him.