I know it’s a little soon to be looking at these again, but there were a couple of search strings that I wanted to mention before my log resets itself and I lose them.
archie a racist superdickery
I’m not sure they actually cover much in the way of Archie-related stuff, but you might want to just go to Superdickery directly and take a look around.
lucy liu futurama says his name with a non robotic forum
Uh huh.
harley sings: i never knew that you and i were finished
I’ve mentioned this scene from Batman: The Animated Series in the past, and included the lyrics to the song (Say That We’re Sweethearts Again), but here’s a clip of the actual scene:
giada (bra size or cup size)
Yes, an oldie, but a goodie. I mention it only because in following the link to the search results displayed with my site stats I discovered that there is a Wiki site devoted entirely to big boobs. The site – Boobpedia (NSFW) – is a user-editable encyclopedia just like Wikipedia, except that it has a more specific purpose. Sadly, Giada is categorized under the heading “Cup Size Needed,” and her entry is simply a rehash of her Wikipedia entry, so no help there.
kirsten kemp babe
She certainly is.
threshold conpany pary
Uhh…? I’m guessing you meant Threshold Company Party. This Threshold is a blog, not a company (or conpany, for that matter), and isn’t so big on the parties, so no help for you here.
what is gia
I’m not sure what you’re asking. There’s a movie called Gia that features a young and very nude Angelina Jolie playing the role of model Gia Carangi, which rather famously includes a lesbian scene. Other than that, there are various porn stars who call themselves (or are actually named) Gia. Is it an acronym you’re looking for? If so, there is the Gemological Institute of America.
And that’s it for this edition of Keyword Kraziness.
Showing posts with label i have no pictures of kirsten kemp. Show all posts
Showing posts with label i have no pictures of kirsten kemp. Show all posts
Sunday, December 30, 2007
Sunday, December 23, 2007
Conversations With My TV
When I watched The Simpsons Movie DVD the other night I discovered that I’d inadvertently bought the full screen version rather than the widescreen. D’oh!
I also learned that the first post-cancellation Futurama feature-length DVD is out, so now I need to pick up a copy of that as well.
Apart from being called a jerk that no one likes, my weekend was largely uneventful. I did the laundry today. That’s about as exciting as it got.
I did complete a picture – which I’ll be posting tomorrow – and was going to start working on another, but I got distracted this afternoon when I sat down to eat a late lunch and discovered that TLC was running a marathon of Property Ladder, so that ate up the rest of my day.
Sure, I’ve seen all of them before, many of them multiple times, but how could I say no to hours and hours of Kirsten Kemp? I couldn’t, that’s how (Even though, technically, I probably got under an hour of actual Kirsten time, as she’s only in each episode for like ten minutes.). And if I’d tried, I’m sure Mistress Kirsten would have disciplined me severely.
Property Ladder is one of those shows that invariably leads me to engage in a “conversation” with my TV.
This often takes the form of me saying things like, “See? You should have listened to Kirsten.” when the house-flippers run into trouble for not taking her advice. Or saying, “That’s what she does” when a formerly optimistic flipper has met with Kirsten and is talking about how she came along and viciously slapped down their hopeful attitudes with a dose of reality. But more often I’m engaged in conversations with the announcer that invariably go something like this:
Announcer: Want to make more money in a couple of months than you did all last year?
Me: Not as much as I want to get it on with Kirsten.
Announcer: Try climbing the Property Ladder!
Me: I’d rather try climbing Kirsten.
Announcer: Let’s see what Kirsten thinks about their progress.
Me: Let’s see what Kirsten is wearing.
Announcer: Now it’s Kirsten’s turn to check out the results.
Me: Now it’s my turn to check out Kirsten.
…and so forth.
(And no, my TV does not talk back to me.)
Now that I’m once again between jobs I’m back to being uncertain as to what day it is. I was convinced it was Monday when I woke up. I actually had to check the clock on my computer before I would believe that it was Sunday, not that it actually mattered. Every day is the same as any other for the next two weeks or so, then it’s back to an entirely different kind of salt mine than the ones I’ve been in for the past six years or so.
The five day work week is going to take some serious getting used to, but I will appreciate the shorter work days and things like having holidays off.
And, you know, not having to be in a dark, cold cave listening to people talking endlessly about WoW.
In the short time I spent in the actual NOC at the job I didn’t want, I actually ended up hearing lots of talk about raids and mages and dwarves and whatnot, though that was all interspersed with just slightly more sports babble than was present at AOL.
Either way, I’m glad to be out of there.
One thing that really bothered me about the job I didn’t want – apart from the job itself – was the fact that nothing there was free. I don’t drink coffee, but it bothered me to note that coffee from the machine had to be paid for, as that seems really chintzy. Worse, they didn’t even have a water cooler (or a water fountain, for that matter), so I actually had to buy water.
Sure, it’s cool that they actually have a little convenience store and, for the coffee drinkers, an actual Starbucks right in the building, but come on, you can’t even provide water and cheap coffee for free?
The whole time I was in the class we were often interrupted by the sound of construction of their new fitness center – the use of which will also not be free for employees.
When I got the voicemail on Thursday from the recruiter for the job that I want and now have, I immediately recognized her voice before she identified herself and got to the point of asking that I call her back as soon as I had a chance because she had “great news.”
When I did call her and she gave me the news, she asked if I was at the contract job. I said that I was, and she asked how that was going. When I said, “Meh,” she laughed and confidently stated “We’re better.”
She’ll be absolutely correct if they simply have a water cooler, as I am, as Brian once put it, a crazy water drinkin’ fool, but I’m sure there will be plenty of other things that make them better.
My Christmas present from my mom arrived yesterday. I already knew what it was (Wal-Mart gift card) so I opened it. Still haven’t gotten anything from my sister Kim, but I’m sure it’ll arrive tomorrow.
Last night Stacy called to invite me over for Christmas brunch on Tuesday, and she informed me that Scott has gotten me something “awesome.” Sadly, what I got for them is considerably less than awesome.
As I said in an earlier post, I pretty much punked out on buying Christmas presents this year.
Oh well, there’s always next year.
I Don’t Come To Your House And Make You Watch Porn Department:
One day shortly before I started working at the job that I didn’t want, I spotted some Jehovah’s Witnesses prowling around the neighborhood, so I shut everything off downstairs and headed up to the office, where I totally ignored the inevitable knock on my door.
After they gave up and went away, it occurred to me that in the future I should put my Evangelist Emergency Plan into effect. It’s an idea I’ve half-seriously considered for a while which could be perfectly executed now that I have the 42” LCD TV up on the wall.
The “plan” would consist entirely of having a porn DVD handy at all times so that I could put it playing before inviting the door-to-door God salesmen in.
And not just any porn, German porn.
If they complained, I would simply say, “You’re the ones who wanted to come in to my house; now you have to face the consequences. Besides, I don’t go around to other people’s houses asking the to watch porn, so don’t come into mine asking me not to watch.”
Of course, this would be needlessly cruel – and I’ve probably engaged in enough needless cruelty already – even though it would be funny (to me), so I suppose that hiding out in my office until they go away is the best option.
Besides, my HD DVD player takes forever to boot up (it has an OS built in), so it wouldn’t be that easy to have it ready unless I had advance notice that they were coming, which I normally don’t (this last time being a notable exception).
I also learned that the first post-cancellation Futurama feature-length DVD is out, so now I need to pick up a copy of that as well.
Apart from being called a jerk that no one likes, my weekend was largely uneventful. I did the laundry today. That’s about as exciting as it got.
I did complete a picture – which I’ll be posting tomorrow – and was going to start working on another, but I got distracted this afternoon when I sat down to eat a late lunch and discovered that TLC was running a marathon of Property Ladder, so that ate up the rest of my day.
Sure, I’ve seen all of them before, many of them multiple times, but how could I say no to hours and hours of Kirsten Kemp? I couldn’t, that’s how (Even though, technically, I probably got under an hour of actual Kirsten time, as she’s only in each episode for like ten minutes.). And if I’d tried, I’m sure Mistress Kirsten would have disciplined me severely.
Property Ladder is one of those shows that invariably leads me to engage in a “conversation” with my TV.
This often takes the form of me saying things like, “See? You should have listened to Kirsten.” when the house-flippers run into trouble for not taking her advice. Or saying, “That’s what she does” when a formerly optimistic flipper has met with Kirsten and is talking about how she came along and viciously slapped down their hopeful attitudes with a dose of reality. But more often I’m engaged in conversations with the announcer that invariably go something like this:
Announcer: Want to make more money in a couple of months than you did all last year?
Me: Not as much as I want to get it on with Kirsten.
Announcer: Try climbing the Property Ladder!
Me: I’d rather try climbing Kirsten.
Announcer: Let’s see what Kirsten thinks about their progress.
Me: Let’s see what Kirsten is wearing.
Announcer: Now it’s Kirsten’s turn to check out the results.
Me: Now it’s my turn to check out Kirsten.
…and so forth.
(And no, my TV does not talk back to me.)
Now that I’m once again between jobs I’m back to being uncertain as to what day it is. I was convinced it was Monday when I woke up. I actually had to check the clock on my computer before I would believe that it was Sunday, not that it actually mattered. Every day is the same as any other for the next two weeks or so, then it’s back to an entirely different kind of salt mine than the ones I’ve been in for the past six years or so.
The five day work week is going to take some serious getting used to, but I will appreciate the shorter work days and things like having holidays off.
And, you know, not having to be in a dark, cold cave listening to people talking endlessly about WoW.
In the short time I spent in the actual NOC at the job I didn’t want, I actually ended up hearing lots of talk about raids and mages and dwarves and whatnot, though that was all interspersed with just slightly more sports babble than was present at AOL.
Either way, I’m glad to be out of there.
One thing that really bothered me about the job I didn’t want – apart from the job itself – was the fact that nothing there was free. I don’t drink coffee, but it bothered me to note that coffee from the machine had to be paid for, as that seems really chintzy. Worse, they didn’t even have a water cooler (or a water fountain, for that matter), so I actually had to buy water.
Sure, it’s cool that they actually have a little convenience store and, for the coffee drinkers, an actual Starbucks right in the building, but come on, you can’t even provide water and cheap coffee for free?
The whole time I was in the class we were often interrupted by the sound of construction of their new fitness center – the use of which will also not be free for employees.
When I got the voicemail on Thursday from the recruiter for the job that I want and now have, I immediately recognized her voice before she identified herself and got to the point of asking that I call her back as soon as I had a chance because she had “great news.”
When I did call her and she gave me the news, she asked if I was at the contract job. I said that I was, and she asked how that was going. When I said, “Meh,” she laughed and confidently stated “We’re better.”
She’ll be absolutely correct if they simply have a water cooler, as I am, as Brian once put it, a crazy water drinkin’ fool, but I’m sure there will be plenty of other things that make them better.
My Christmas present from my mom arrived yesterday. I already knew what it was (Wal-Mart gift card) so I opened it. Still haven’t gotten anything from my sister Kim, but I’m sure it’ll arrive tomorrow.
Last night Stacy called to invite me over for Christmas brunch on Tuesday, and she informed me that Scott has gotten me something “awesome.” Sadly, what I got for them is considerably less than awesome.
As I said in an earlier post, I pretty much punked out on buying Christmas presents this year.
Oh well, there’s always next year.
I Don’t Come To Your House And Make You Watch Porn Department:
One day shortly before I started working at the job that I didn’t want, I spotted some Jehovah’s Witnesses prowling around the neighborhood, so I shut everything off downstairs and headed up to the office, where I totally ignored the inevitable knock on my door.
After they gave up and went away, it occurred to me that in the future I should put my Evangelist Emergency Plan into effect. It’s an idea I’ve half-seriously considered for a while which could be perfectly executed now that I have the 42” LCD TV up on the wall.
The “plan” would consist entirely of having a porn DVD handy at all times so that I could put it playing before inviting the door-to-door God salesmen in.
And not just any porn, German porn.
If they complained, I would simply say, “You’re the ones who wanted to come in to my house; now you have to face the consequences. Besides, I don’t go around to other people’s houses asking the to watch porn, so don’t come into mine asking me not to watch.”
Of course, this would be needlessly cruel – and I’ve probably engaged in enough needless cruelty already – even though it would be funny (to me), so I suppose that hiding out in my office until they go away is the best option.
Besides, my HD DVD player takes forever to boot up (it has an OS built in), so it wouldn’t be that easy to have it ready unless I had advance notice that they were coming, which I normally don’t (this last time being a notable exception).
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Keyword Kraziness: Mind Kontrol Edition
It’s time once again to examine some of those Wacky World Wide Web searches that lead unsuspecting Web surfers to dash themselves against the pointy and pointless rocks of Threshold Beach.
Let’s see what we’ve got.
Watchmen Babies
This is rapidly becoming the new Bikini Cavegirl. Just to be clear for anyone who doesn’t know, it was just a quick (and hilarious) throw-away gag on the episode of The Simpsons featuring Alan Moore. Milhouse asked Alan, “Mr. Moore, will you sign my DVD of Watchmen Babies?” At which point we see a DVD featuring the primary characters from Watchmen, as babies, waterskiing in an adventure titled V For Vacation. This, of course, sets Alan off on a rant about having the marrow sucked from his bones by evil corporations. There is no such product, and given that the video was taken down from YouTube, there’s not much I can do to help you even find the image.
Variations on “demotivational poster jailbait”
This is just barely behind Watchmen Babies for the number of hits it’s generated. I would assume you’re looking for this (fairly NSFW). Perverts. (It is a funny poster, though. There’s also this one. And this one. And several others. Note: The links might not actually take you directly to the pictures that I had intended them to, but the jailbait ones are easy to find at the site.)
flight attendant mind control chip
If I’d ever been on a flight that had a flight attendant who looked anywhere near as hot as flight attendants do in movies, I might well be tempted to invest in such a product, should it exist. Nothing related to such a thing can be found here, though. But my question is, is the mind control chip really profession-specific? Could you, for example, get it to work on someone who works for a technical recruiting company?
automatic doorsanimation
Uh, okay.
kirsten kemp cleavage
Personally, I’m a fan of it, but sadly, I have no images of it available.
ginger alexander beautiful
I wouldn’t go so far as to say beautiful.
xenosexuality
Found yourself a hot alien and are now busy trying to figure out how to get it on, huh?
direcpath speeds
Interestingly enough, the spell checker in Word suggests “Dire Path” as a replacement for DirecPath. As for their speeds, well, “slow as hell” is a speed.
And that’s it for another round of Keyword Kraziness. Keep those zany searches coming.
Let’s see what we’ve got.
Watchmen Babies
This is rapidly becoming the new Bikini Cavegirl. Just to be clear for anyone who doesn’t know, it was just a quick (and hilarious) throw-away gag on the episode of The Simpsons featuring Alan Moore. Milhouse asked Alan, “Mr. Moore, will you sign my DVD of Watchmen Babies?” At which point we see a DVD featuring the primary characters from Watchmen, as babies, waterskiing in an adventure titled V For Vacation. This, of course, sets Alan off on a rant about having the marrow sucked from his bones by evil corporations. There is no such product, and given that the video was taken down from YouTube, there’s not much I can do to help you even find the image.
Variations on “demotivational poster jailbait”
This is just barely behind Watchmen Babies for the number of hits it’s generated. I would assume you’re looking for this (fairly NSFW). Perverts. (It is a funny poster, though. There’s also this one. And this one. And several others. Note: The links might not actually take you directly to the pictures that I had intended them to, but the jailbait ones are easy to find at the site.)
flight attendant mind control chip
If I’d ever been on a flight that had a flight attendant who looked anywhere near as hot as flight attendants do in movies, I might well be tempted to invest in such a product, should it exist. Nothing related to such a thing can be found here, though. But my question is, is the mind control chip really profession-specific? Could you, for example, get it to work on someone who works for a technical recruiting company?
automatic doorsanimation
Uh, okay.
kirsten kemp cleavage
Personally, I’m a fan of it, but sadly, I have no images of it available.
ginger alexander beautiful
I wouldn’t go so far as to say beautiful.
xenosexuality
Found yourself a hot alien and are now busy trying to figure out how to get it on, huh?
direcpath speeds
Interestingly enough, the spell checker in Word suggests “Dire Path” as a replacement for DirecPath. As for their speeds, well, “slow as hell” is a speed.
And that’s it for another round of Keyword Kraziness. Keep those zany searches coming.
Friday, November 23, 2007
And A Vicious Wind Blew Hard And Fast
I had Thanksgiving dinner at Jamie and Casey’s house along with Scott and Stacy and their brood.
(Thanks again for having me over. Sorry I didn’t bring anything.)
I hung out as long as I could before the dog started to get to me, and then I swung by Brian and Kathleen’s to deliver Kathleen a plate (and some peanut butter cookies I’d made for her). As they’d had to put one of their cats down the night before, Kathleen wasn’t really up to going to any sort of celebratory feast, and Brian was working.
What had started out as a beautiful, slightly windy day rapidly turned into a dismal, cold, rainy, and incredibly windy day.
The wind had picked up pretty early on, and in my backyard it looked as though it was raining falling leaves before the actual rain started.
Fortunately, in the front yard the wind stripped the still-leafy tree bare, and blew clear the massive blanket of fallen leaves that had developed immediately after I’d raked up the first batch of fallen leaves, sparing me the effort that would have gone into raking again.
Today has been pretty uneventful. There is, after all, nothing that could compel me to venture out into the world on Black Friday.
Lately I’ve been watching a lot of HGTV, mostly because I have the HD version in my HD line-up, and I have to say that I’m continually amazed at how many hot chicks there are associated with real estate and home improvement. I’m not just talking about the hosts, because, yeah, obviously producers are going to pick hotties to be the primary on-air presences, but also among the designers and Realtors, and whatnot.
Among my new favorites are Brandie Malay from Hidden Potential and Jane Wogan from the show Don’t Sweat It.
(Of course, none of them holds a candle – an icy, frozen candle – to Mistress Kirsten of Property Ladder)
In any case, I suppose I should get back to figuring out just how I’m going to waste the rest of the day.
(Thanks again for having me over. Sorry I didn’t bring anything.)
I hung out as long as I could before the dog started to get to me, and then I swung by Brian and Kathleen’s to deliver Kathleen a plate (and some peanut butter cookies I’d made for her). As they’d had to put one of their cats down the night before, Kathleen wasn’t really up to going to any sort of celebratory feast, and Brian was working.
What had started out as a beautiful, slightly windy day rapidly turned into a dismal, cold, rainy, and incredibly windy day.
The wind had picked up pretty early on, and in my backyard it looked as though it was raining falling leaves before the actual rain started.
Fortunately, in the front yard the wind stripped the still-leafy tree bare, and blew clear the massive blanket of fallen leaves that had developed immediately after I’d raked up the first batch of fallen leaves, sparing me the effort that would have gone into raking again.
Today has been pretty uneventful. There is, after all, nothing that could compel me to venture out into the world on Black Friday.
Lately I’ve been watching a lot of HGTV, mostly because I have the HD version in my HD line-up, and I have to say that I’m continually amazed at how many hot chicks there are associated with real estate and home improvement. I’m not just talking about the hosts, because, yeah, obviously producers are going to pick hotties to be the primary on-air presences, but also among the designers and Realtors, and whatnot.
Among my new favorites are Brandie Malay from Hidden Potential and Jane Wogan from the show Don’t Sweat It.
(Of course, none of them holds a candle – an icy, frozen candle – to Mistress Kirsten of Property Ladder)
In any case, I suppose I should get back to figuring out just how I’m going to waste the rest of the day.
Monday, September 03, 2007
Happy Day Off To The People Who Don't Normally Have It Off
So I ventured a bit outside of my routine over the past couple of days.
On Saturday night I was sitting at home getting my Saturday night fix of Kirsten Kemp (who was so utterly disgusted by the foolishness of her house flipping advisees that she was letting down that warm, nice person façade and unleashing her cold, inner ice queen, which I, of course, found extremely hot), whom, I’m afraid, I have no pictures of here, topless or otherwise, for those of you seeking them. As with all other seekers of famous and semi-famous boobs, I wish you luck in your quest.
Just as Kirsten had made one of the errant flippers say “Ow” in response to her ice-cold words, I became faintly aware of the sound of music coming from somewhere.
I shrugged it off until I recognized it as my Scott ringtone, at which point I got up, too late, to answer my phone.
I called him back and learned that he’d been calling me to catch a 9:55 showing of Balls of Fury.
Though I normally wouldn’t venture out on a Saturday evening, there are no actual rules that I live by in this regard, so I decided to take him up on the offer, even though doing so made me a liar, as at work Simon had asked me if I was going to see it and I’d said no.
The movie was entertaining in pretty much exactly the way you would expect it to be, though I found it to be much more entertaining than I’d expected.
My drive home from the theater at close to midnight was sort of an odd experience. Nothing especially interesting happened, but given that I took the decidedly less-traveled and considerably more rurally-located back roads home, it almost felt like being back home in Michigan, complete with sections of actual dirt road.
Of course, it wasn’t quite the same as driving on similar roads back home, as there is considerably more paving, they’re populated by a lot more homes, and the trees don’t quite form the kind of canopy that make the experience of driving on back roads in Michigan rather like driving in a tunnel.
Also, like any road in Virginia, there is a lot more traffic to contend with on the back roads here.
Yesterday, as mentioned, I actually ventured out into the world, where I purchased a nearly $1,200 piece of paper that says I now own a 42” LCD HDTV.
In the interest of balance, I’m not doing anything today to make up for having done things on the past two days.
And that’s pretty much where and how things stand.
I hope you are all, laborers and non-laborers alike, having a good Labor Day.
On Saturday night I was sitting at home getting my Saturday night fix of Kirsten Kemp (who was so utterly disgusted by the foolishness of her house flipping advisees that she was letting down that warm, nice person façade and unleashing her cold, inner ice queen, which I, of course, found extremely hot), whom, I’m afraid, I have no pictures of here, topless or otherwise, for those of you seeking them. As with all other seekers of famous and semi-famous boobs, I wish you luck in your quest.
Just as Kirsten had made one of the errant flippers say “Ow” in response to her ice-cold words, I became faintly aware of the sound of music coming from somewhere.
I shrugged it off until I recognized it as my Scott ringtone, at which point I got up, too late, to answer my phone.
I called him back and learned that he’d been calling me to catch a 9:55 showing of Balls of Fury.
Though I normally wouldn’t venture out on a Saturday evening, there are no actual rules that I live by in this regard, so I decided to take him up on the offer, even though doing so made me a liar, as at work Simon had asked me if I was going to see it and I’d said no.
The movie was entertaining in pretty much exactly the way you would expect it to be, though I found it to be much more entertaining than I’d expected.
My drive home from the theater at close to midnight was sort of an odd experience. Nothing especially interesting happened, but given that I took the decidedly less-traveled and considerably more rurally-located back roads home, it almost felt like being back home in Michigan, complete with sections of actual dirt road.
Of course, it wasn’t quite the same as driving on similar roads back home, as there is considerably more paving, they’re populated by a lot more homes, and the trees don’t quite form the kind of canopy that make the experience of driving on back roads in Michigan rather like driving in a tunnel.
Also, like any road in Virginia, there is a lot more traffic to contend with on the back roads here.
Yesterday, as mentioned, I actually ventured out into the world, where I purchased a nearly $1,200 piece of paper that says I now own a 42” LCD HDTV.
In the interest of balance, I’m not doing anything today to make up for having done things on the past two days.
And that’s pretty much where and how things stand.
I hope you are all, laborers and non-laborers alike, having a good Labor Day.
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