Musical Conversations

As many people would likely tell you, I don’t talk a lot.  In fact, I would say that’s what most people would say about me if pressed to come up with something, anything, to say about me.   That or some variation – “He’s really quiet” “He seems shy” “Does he have a pulse?” “Who?” – would be the go-to response.
Evidently it’s something of a defining characteristic*, or at least so I’ve gathered.
And it’s true.  Compared to most people, I don’t talk a lot.
There are, of course, many reasons for that, but that’s not what this is about.
While, in general, I don’t talk a lot to people, I do spend a fair amount of time talking to inanimate objects, abstract concepts, hypothetical people, and the singers of the songs I listen to at home or when I’m driving to work.
Here are some examples of that last one.

Garbage:  Come back to my house, stick a stone in your mouth…
Me:  …I…no thank you?

Alice In Chains:  What’s the difference?  I’ll die in this sick world of mine….
Me:  *Sigh*  You sure did, Layne.  You sure did.

Dido:  Take my hand, and if I’m lying to you…
Me:  “If,” Dido?

Liz Phair:  I bet you fall in bed too easily with the beautiful girls who are shyly brave…
Me:  Wow, you’ve really got my number, Liz.  That’s classic me.

Rob Zombie:  How can I make you understand?
Me:  Well, Rob, you might put a little more thought into your actual lyrics.

Dido:  See you when you’re forty, lost and all alone…
Me:  Go fuck yourself, Dido.

*It’s either that or a complete lack of any defining or noteworthy characteristics whatsoever.

Boom And Bust

It's true; after the "Saving the world from Solomon Grundy" bubble burst, there was very little money to be made in that particular niche. But man, in those heady early days the cash flowed just like water. And the women...

Speaking Of Commercials…

…I find myself kind of puzzled by some of the musical choices I’ve been encountering in commercials of late.

For example, Target has an ad campaign featuring the song “Pictures of Matchstick Men” by Status Quo.

It puzzles me, because the visual theme of the commercial is “It’s summertime, and you can get all the stuff you need to enjoy the summer at Target,” while the song itself has no thematic connection to summertime at all.  In fact, it’s a song about infatuation and obsession:

(I’ve always liked this bit:  “Windows echo your reflection, when I look in their direction, gone.  When will this haunting stop? Your face it just won’t leave me alone.”)

Far more puzzling to me, however, is the Jeep commercial featuring the Johnny Cash song “God Is Gonna Cut You Down.” (Embedding is disabled; sorry.)

So, umm, what are you trying to tell people, Jeep?  God will punish them if they don’t buy a Jeep?

Bonus:

While I really like the original, I also enjoy this cover of “Pictures of Matchstick Men” performed by Ozzy Osbourne and Type O Negative:

Culture...And Shit

(During our staff meeting)
Co-Worker (looking out the window): Those clouds look pretty ominous.
Me: The sky looked really...Octobery this morning when I was driving in; big, bright moon, dark clouds drifting in front of it.
Co-Worker: Spooky.
Me: Yeah, it just needed a little Toccata and Fugue in D Minor.
Boss: Look at you, bein' all cultured and shit!

An Open Letter To Music

Hey,

So how's it going?
I just want to say first of all that throughout the years I've enjoyed much of you. Sure, maybe not most of you, but those parts of you that I do enjoy kind of make up for the parts I don't.
Anyway, there's this chick in the commercial for the iPod Touch who claims to have a very close - if complex - relationship with you.
If that really is the case, could you do me a favor, as her boyfriend/girlfriend/king-size bed, and ask her to just shut the hell up?

Thanks,

Jon

And While I'm At It...

Since I'm posting videos, I might as well post this one featuring singer Regina Spektor.
I watched it the other day because Michelle Collins posted it on bestweekever.tv and ever since it's been burrowing its way deeper and deeper into my consciousness.
When it comes to music it's extremely easy for a song or a melody or a hook to imprint itself on my brain.
For example, after seeing the video for it exactly one time I got the "lalalalalalalala" from Kylie Minoque's song Can't Get You Out of My Head permanently burned into my brain, making me quite literally unable to get it out of my head. To this day, if you say "Kylie Minoque" at me, what do you suppose I'll hear in my head? I'll give you a hint: I'm hearing it right now.
That is, until I think about this:



Apart from the fact that part of this gets stuck in my head to the point of being maddening, I don't have any particularly strong feelings about this song one way or another. She's got an okay voice, and while it's kind of annoying, and maddening, the vocal hook is rather catchy (which is what makes it so maddening).
I have to say that physically she looks sort of like a combination of Tori Amos and Fiona Apple, but maybe that's just me.
In any case, here's hoping your brains end up just as full of her evilly-catchy chorus as mine is.
(Speaking of bestweekever.tv and posts by Ms. Collins, though, check out this entry. The clip itself is hilarious, but if you look in the comments, you might see a familiar name...)