I decided to download a copy of the first episode of that new series from HBO about polygamy, Big Love, to see what it’s like.
Overall it was interesting, if not totally compelling.
The basic set-up is that the polygamist husband owns three houses located adjacent to each other, which he shares with each of his wives and their children. They essentially operate as one family, with the first wife being “senior wife” and in charge of coordinating their husband’s time with each wife and distributing money for household expenses.
I actually liked the way they focused on some of the more mundane issues of time and money management that would crop up in a family that consists of three wives and I don’t remember how many kids (there were a lot).
Another issue that popped up (or rather, didn’t “pop up”) that was kind of an interesting twist was that, between the stress of his family life, his work, and having to keep his family’s lifestyle a secret from the world at large, the husband, played by Bill Paxton, suffers from impotency.
Given that each of his wives is attractive that seems fittingly ironic.
After all, given that I can’t even manage to get my hands on one attractive woman, it annoys me to see someone who’s got three, even if it is fictional, so I was happy to see circumstances conspiring to make sure that he’s not getting any either.
The stats that the producers put onscreen at the end of the show state that there are between 20,000 and 40,000 people practicing polygamy in the US.
As if I didn’t have enough trouble meeting a woman with so many of them being in legal relationships, I also have to worry about the assholes who are bogarting the women.
Come on, you greedy bastards, throw me a frickin’ bone here!
Of course, given that most polygamists engage in the practice for religious reasons, they tend to be too “righteous” to engage in any of the more interesting possibilities that come with having multiple wives, which ultimately leads you to ask, “Then what’s the point?”
If it’s just going to leave you saddled with even more kids than you’d be stuck with from one wife and the amount of nagging you have to put up with increases exponentially and you’re not even going to get to watch your wives make out with each other, why bother?
Of course, I keep forgetting that there are people (way too many of them, in fact) who look at having kids as being a good thing rather than a colossal pain in the ass, and that the wives of most polygamists tend not to be “uppity” enough to engage in nagging.
Still, without the girl on girl action I can’t see it as being worth the bother, and maybe I’m a weirdo but I think that having a totally subservient wife who does what you tell her to do without complaint and who doesn’t challenge you in the slightest would be boring.
Maybe that’s why these dorks need to marry multiple women; they’re hoping that there’s enough spark in each one of the subservient drones to cumulatively add up to the spirit of one complete woman.
Or maybe they’re just jerks.
But in any case, now I know that I have to add the existence of polygamists to the long list of items that keep me from finding someone. It joins the ranks of things like my crippling lack of social graces, my less-than dynamic personality, my indifferent approach to personal grooming, and that vague – yet persistent – odor that clings about me.
Oh yeah, and my self-esteem issues.
On a totally different topic, I’ve begun work on a picture, per Brian’s suggestion, that the Web searches that lead poor, deluded fools to Threshold would seem to indicate there is a popular demand for.
Yes, that’s right, I’m working on a picture of a Bikini Cavegirl.
So far I haven’t gotten too much done on it. I’ve actually only successfully completed one element of the picture. Oddly enough, said element is not the cavegirl herself.
On a totally different topic again, I’m amazed that I didn’t come up with this.
Oh wait, I did come up with that. It’s how I’ve lived my life for years.
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