License To Hurt

I was in a training class for most of the week at work – though because I still went in at my usual time, I had hours in which to get work done before class started each day, so I probably still managed to get more work done than many people who weren’t in training – learning all about Business Process Analysis.
More importantly, I was earning PDUs to apply towards maintaining my PMP certification.
In any case, on the second day of class, having deduced the pattern of breaks, after completing work on a group exercise, a co-worker and I decided to head out for a smoke break.
One of the people in my group, upon hearing that, turned to me and said, incredulously, “You still smoke?”
I nodded my assent, and she said, “I had no idea – I never smell it on you.”
”Well, I never smoke inside, so it doesn’t really cling to me.”
Someone else said, “But I’ve been on the elevator with people who just came in from smoking and I can smell it on them, but she’s right; I never smell it on you.”
I shrugged.  “Well, I try to do what I can to minimize the smell because when you smoke people think that gives them a license to hurt your feelings and that they can just freely tell you what a smelly, disgusting piece of garbage they think you are.”

****

Scott:  Have you ever counted the number of devices you have?  In this room alone you’ve got four display devices if you count your phone.
(Note:  No, I haven’t.  I have a lot.)

****

As I continue to slog my way through Showcase Presents:  Young Love Vol. 1, I find myself increasingly annoyed by my inability to identify the real person that Mary Robin, RN, was modeled on.  She’s very clearly based on an actress of the time (the early 1960s), and I can almost picture her, but no name is forthcoming.  I may have to scan an image and post it here for assistance in the identification, as I can’t find any images of her online that show Mary clearly enough for anyone to spot the resemblance.  (Sometimes she looks a little like Connie Hines from Mr. Ed, but that’s not who I’m thinking of.)
What’s also interesting is that there’s a story that features a girl who was very clearly modeled on Ann-Margret, and the primary plot of the story is how much our young heroine resembles a famous (fictional) movie star.

****

Oscar Mayer Cracked Black Pepper Turkey Breast has become my new favorite thing lately.

If You Try, You'll Fail. If You Don't Try, You'll Fail Even Worse.

Today I had a Microsoft Visio class at HQ, so that meant getting up a little earlier than is usual for a day off, and dealing with morning traffic, where I was reminded, as I always am, of a lesson I learned long ago: the Universe will seldom let you win, but will always punish you for not trying.
So even though it was a fruitless endeavor, I put the appropriate effort into getting around the slow-moving jackasses and the heavily-laden semis and construction equipment just because I knew that, though I would never succeed in getting all of the obstacles behind me, and, indeed, would somehow end up behind them once again after getting past them, somehow, through some fiendishly clever maneuvering on the Universe’s part, it would be even worse if I just accepted my fate and stayed behind them.
Still, I arrived with plenty of time to spare – especially since most experienced instructors know that it’s not worth starting a class until at least fifteen minutes after it’s supposed to start, as the people who work at our company have their own version of time.
In general, 9 AM means anywhere from 9:10 to 10:30.
It certainly doesn’t mean 9 AM.
The class was taught by one of the more experienced instructors, and one of the better ones out of all of the ones I’ve had.
Before heading to the class I made my way towards the cafeteria to get an energy drink.
Getting there meant going through doors that require badge access. Said doors were not opening for a woman who was trying them, nor would they open for my badge. Eventually someone else tried and they opened.
Later in the day, they worked just fine for my badge. Not sure what was going on there.
Scott was already there when I got to the class, and we waited until around 9:15 to start.
There were still two late arrivals.
I haven’t done much with Visio, so I actually learned a fair amount about what it can do.
I’m most interested in the ability to create floor plans, as that could come in very handy in my upcoming move, especially, as Scott pointed out, if I have a good idea of the layout before I actually move.
For lunch I considered having my default pizza, but then remembered that I would be having pizza for dinner, as I’d ordered a pizza last night so that I wouldn’t have to worry about bothering with making dinner after I got home from class.
I then decided to go for what was called the Tomato Mozzarella Angus Burger, but learned that, sadly, they had no mozzarella.
So I went with the special, the Southwestern Turkey Burger with Pineapple Pico de Gallo.
(As an aside, whenever I encounter Pico de Gallo, I always hear Liz Phair singing “Cinco de Mayo” in my head.)
It was okay, I guess. The Pico de Gallo was surprisingly bland, and the burger itself, as is often the case with ground turkey, was rather dry.
As per usual there were a few dim bulbs in the class. The thing is, it wasn’t so much that they had trouble with the program itself, but that they seemed to lack even the most basic of computer skills. It never ceases to amaze me how a technology-based company like ours can have so many employees who lack even the most basic level of computer literacy, though honestly it explains a lot.
Speaking of computer illiteracy, the other night when I was watching The Real Deal on TLC, I found myself getting extremely irritated.
(FYI, “Ginger Alexander’s boobs” and “Ginger Alexander and Richard Davis dating?” have become some of the top search generators. Sorry fellas – and ladies, if applicable – but I have no pictures of her boobs, and no specific knowledge that they are, so I refuse to speculate as to whether or not Ginger and Richard are dating, or whether or not she’s giving him hummers in his office, or doing it with him in secluded areas on job sites while work is going on around them because the danger of getting caught, by workers or on camera, makes it that much hotter.)
It was a rebroadcast of the previous week’s episode (which I missed, thanks to my shitty cable company) in which the Trademark gang was having problems with e-mail and the team was very upset with the service they were receiving from their IT guy.
To teach him a lesson, they agreed to renovate a house that said IT guy was thinking about purchasing at cost. The point of the lesson was that they would have the renovations done, and done well, within a very short period of time, which would prove to the IT guy that work can be done quickly.
Okay, while it may have been due to post-production editing, the IT guy did seem like kind of a goober who worked at a snail’s pace, but what bothered me was the total lack of understanding on the part of the computer users as to what’s involved in maintaining a network, and the continued apples and oranges comparisons that were being made about renovating a house and fixing a computer problem.
Installing cabinets is not even remotely similar to installing software; each process has its own unique challenges. There is no direct comparison between renovating a house and troubleshooting and maintaining a computer network, so there is no way to compare the time it takes to accomplish something in the one to the time it takes to accomplish something in the other.
It’s like the whole “If they can put a man on the moon…” complaint; on the surface it’s seemingly logical, but under scrutiny the complaint falls apart because the two items being compared are not even remotely similar.
So sure, it’s a good lesson in terms of work ethic, but beyond that it’s meaningless.
The other complaint I had was that Richard (naturally) was viewing it as a “teamwork” issue, but given that the IT department consisted of only one team member, who, exactly, was he supposed to be working with? Was he supposed to be engaging in teamwork with the users? Because, honestly, his relationship to that team was more analogous to the role of waterboy.
Was Richard authorizing him to hire on some additional IT people and create an IT “team,” as he seemed to be suggesting at one point? The idea of bringing on more people was never actually discussed, even though Richard kept complaining about the IT guy, who was alone, insisting on going it alone.
It was all rather baffling.
Ultimately, what I found most interesting was that it was one member of the team who was actually causing the mail server problems.
Anyway, in the end it all worked out; the house was finished on time and the IT guy learned the value of teamwork. Hooray!
And Ginger (and her boobs) and Richard went on a hot date after it was all over…is a bit of groundless and irresponsible speculation that I will not be engaging in.

That Takes Care Of That

Today's training was postponed due to the weather, so I guess that answers the question of whether or not I'll be going.