I’ve mentioned several times that I watch a lot of HGTV. As Scott said, it’s become my life.
As I’ve sat on the couch powerless to look away I’ve thought about the other thing I spend nearly as much time watching as I do watching HGTV, and what it would be like if they were combined.
And what would be the result of that combination? Why, BJTV, of course, an all-porn channel with shows whose titles are based on their HGTV counterparts.
What follows are the names of shows currently on HGTV in bold and the names of their BJTV versions in italics:
My House is Worth What?
My Ass is Worth What?
Buy Me
Blow Me
Color Correction
Color Erection
Hidden Potential
Hidden Slut-tential
or
Hidden Butt-tential
Designed to Sell
Designed to Suck
Don’t Sweat It
Don’t Swallow It
Deserving Design
Deserving Behinds
House Hunters
Whore Hunters
Offbeat America
Beat Off America
World’s Most Extreme Homes
World’s Most Extreme Orgies
My First Place
My First Facial
…and so forth.
It would seem like Over Your Head would be an obvious choice as well, but I haven’t been able to come up with anything suitable.
On a related note, I have to say that I’m amazed that I’ve never encountered anyone making porn based on the titles of the Harry Potter books and movies, given that there’s such an obvious way to pornify the protagonist’s name: Hairy Twatter.
Thus you would have:
Hairy Twatter and The Sorcerer’s Bone
Hairy Twatter and The Chamber of Sluts
Hairy Twatter and The Prisoner of Ass-kaban
Hairy Twatter and The Goblet of Jizz
Hairy Twatter and The Order of the Penis
Hairy Twatter and The Butt-Plugged Prince
Hairy Twatter and The Deadly Swallows (Starring Peter North)
If someone has, in fact, gone this route, than my apologies for not recognizing your porny pun skills.
(And my apologies for scarring anyone’s childhood/inner child.)
In any case, feel free to share your own BJTV or Hairy Twatter title suggestions in the Comments.
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