The Girl Wth Colitis Goes By

Popular music is rife with misheard lyrics, the most famous of which may very well be “’scuse me while I kiss this guy,” which would seem to indicate a side to Hendrix that most fans hadn’t previously been aware of (for anyone out there too old or too young know, the real lyrics are “’scuse me while I kiss the sky”).
There are, of course, plenty of other examples, such as “she’s got a chicken to ride” (she’s got a ticket to ride) or “there’s a bathroom on the right” (there’s a bad moon on the rise).
I believe there’s actually a series of books detailing these mishearings, at least one of which has the misheard Hendrix lyrics as the title, and there are no doubt plenty of Web sites out there that do the same.
My point? Well, sometimes when you’re out in the word minding your own business, you overhear conversations, and sometimes you can’t be quite sure if you heard what you think you heard.
For example, on Sunday while I was at work I could have sworn I heard someone say, “I try to be a transsexual.”
And yesterday while I was at Wal-Mart I’m reasonably certain that one Associate said to another, “I thought we were going to have to poop in the pants.”
I have to believe that I misheard what was being said in both instances, but in some ways it’s kind of intriguing to think what might have been, positing a world in which Hendrix was getting ready for some guy on guy action, or in which a lady really was using a chicken as a means of conveyance, and in which the guys from CCR really had to pee.
The context of the “transsexual” remark was a manager discussing his management style with an employee. Maybe it was some kind of metaphor, suggesting that the manager, like a tranny, has the ability to see things from both sides.
As for the Wal-Mart conversation, much of it could be attributed to the fact that he was a non-native speaker. Maybe he was simply complaining about Wal-Mart’s draconian rules about when and how many bathroom breaks employees can take, or maybe it was some sort of bizarre tactic for negotiating with management (“Give us better health benefits or we will begin pooping in the pants!”).
Whatever the case, it did make me immediately think of Brian’s alternate lyrics to “Safety Dance.” (You can dance, you can dance, everybody poop in your pants).
In any case, I just can’t help but think that it might be a more interesting world if Stewie really did say “effing cry” in the lyrics to the Family Guy theme song, or if managers at my job really did try to be transsexuals. Not so sure I want Wal-Mart employees pooping in the pants, though.
Of course, I suppose that it might be a more accurate world if I cleaned out my ears a little more often.