Over the weekend, as my old pair was totally worn from all the walking I did in the spring and summer, I ordered a new pair of Converse All Stars.
When I heard the UPS truck outside I figured I'd check on the status of my shipment. I saw that the shoes were out for delivery, so they should have been on that truck.
And yet, after making a delivery to the building across from mine the driver got in his truck and drove away.
A couple of minutes later, though, I heard the sound of the UPS truck returning.
I said to myself, "That's right, bitch; come on back and give me my shoes."
And the moral of the story is that, within the safety of your own home and outside of anyone's earshot, you need to treat UPS drivers the way a pimp would treat a ho.
Or something.
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