For All The Haters Out There

Over the weekend Brian found a call for submissions from dateless wonders who hate Valentine’s Day on the Web site of a local paper.
Naturally he passed it along to me.
I decided that I would go ahead and participate, venting on the subject of my antipathy towards the day.
This is what I wrote, adhering to the 200 words or fewer ( I came in at a trim – for me – 196 words) requirement:

Considering that the "holiday" named after him primarily serves to remind loveless losers that they are, in fact, loveless losers, it's no wonder that St. Valentine was beheaded. How "saintly" is it to rub people's noses in the fact that they're alone anyway?
The one good thing about the day, though, is it finally marks the end of the period that starts shortly after Halloween and spans Christmas and New Year's in which we are inundated with ads for diamonds and other expensive gifts for that special – and for many of us, non-existent – "someone" for whom we need to demonstrate our love by spending as much money as possible. Valentine's Day, minus the "Saint," for those of us not "blessed" with a reason to shell out our hard-earned dollars to Hallmark or Zales or Kay, has become nothing more than a reminder that we are alone and therefore less valuable as consumers and human beings.
If nothing else makes you see that Valentine's Day is evil, consider those little hearts made of chalk and passed off as candy, with their nonsense phrases that are as empty and meaningless as the day itself. "Oh You Kid," indeed.

I sent the e-mail out with the subject line “Valentine’s Day: Threat or Menace?”
Shortly afterwards I received this response:

Oh my god, so true/hilarious! That's exactly what we're looking for. Thank you for responding. Please pass the word along to anyone else you know who'd like to vent.

I’m not certain if you have to be a resident of Loudoun County to participate, but if you’re interested, the original notice that Brian passed along to me can be found here.
So far today has been spent…hang on…sweet! My Tablet PC has arrived!