In the words of Tiny Tim, “It’s Christmas…big freakin’ deal.”
Of course, that’s a quote from years after Dickens’ story, after Tiny Tim had gotten healthy and grown up big and strong and was no longer tiny…except where it counts.
That fact, coupled with the discovery that Scrooge’s “magical” reformation was actually the result of delusions brought on by a massive stroke, led him to become a very bitter and cynical man indeed, one who cringed whenever people would ask whatever happened to the that sweet little boy who said, “God bless us, everyone,” to which he respond, “He grew up, okay? Can’t you just accept that and let it go?”
…
Okay, so I got off to a bit of a Grinchy start, but before you start accusing me of having a heart that’s three sizes too small, I’ll say “Merry Christmas!”
On the way in to work I did actually listen to a Christmas song.
Okay, so it was Type O Negative’s Red Water (Christmas Mourning), which isn’t exactly holly jolly, but it does have jingle bells ringing in the background. (My favorite line? “The stockings are hung but who cares?”)
The forecast today calls for temperatures in the 50s and rain, so it looks like we’ll be having a wet Christmas.
Of course, I won’t notice because I’ll be inside this dark, cold dungeon all day, whiling away the hours, with the only thing that gives me any kind of “Christmas spirit” being the realization that I’m making bank to be here bored out of my skull.
It doesn’t bother me to be working on Christmas, as it’s hardly the first time, and it’s not like the day really means anything to me.
Even the more secular aspects of the holiday have lost their meaning for me, as I don’t have anyone special in my life, and I’m thousands of miles away from my family.
I was invited to dinner at Scott and Stacy’s after work, but it’s been a very long weekend and I’m already feeling wiped out, so I don’t think I’d be very good company.
In fact, I’d probably make it my business to be lousy company.
But ultimately, the fact of the matter is that I’d rather just go home and let what remains of the day quietly pass me by.
Of course, apart from the fact that I don’t have anyone to spend the day with, Christmas has lost its meaning for me because I no longer get cool presents.
After all, the stuff that I really want costs a lot more than anyone I know is willing or able to spend.
I did get a few things, though, such as the aforementioned pajamas, some money, and from Kathleen I got the Trivial Pursuit Pop Culture Edition DVD game set.
(When I talked to her yesterday and thanked her for the game I said that if the condo thing works out and I move to Leesburg I’ll be just down the street from her and Brian so I can have them over to engage in a rollicking night of Trivial Pursuit gameplay. In response she called me a “gaywad.”)
The fact that Christmas comes but once a year and now it’s here mostly means for me that for the next ten months or so I’ll be able to go through life without having to hear about the whole Happy Holidays vs. Merry Christmas debate. I’m sick of the whining on both sides, though the pro-Christmas side seems to me to be a bit whinier, and I don’t think there would be a debate if they weren’t forcing the issue.
After all, it’s the only religious holiday that’s also a Federal holiday and it’s hardly as though they’re prevented from very publicly celebrating it. So you can’t put a Nativity scene in front of city hall…so what? Maybe there’s someplace else you could go to practice your religious beliefs. Don’t they have some kind of buildings designed specifically for that sort of thing?
And honestly, I don’t see anyone actually stopping you from saying “Merry Christmas.” If you want to say it, say it.
Or better yet, just shut up.
I’m not sure why Christians make such a big deal about Christmas anyway. Even if you overlook the fact that the man they call Christ almost certainly was not born on December 25th and that the whole thing is basically just a co-opted pagan holiday, Christ’s birth isn’t really that significant to the religion.
That He was born is only significant in that He had to be born in order to die.
After all, it was only through dying that He was able to wash away the sins of the world. He didn’t do that through being born, or through His teachings.
Consider how popular Mel Gibson’s movie about Christ was and what it focused on: His death.
What is the most instantly recognizable symbol of Christianity? The manger? The star that heralded His birth? No, it’s the instrument of His death.
In any case, now that the day has finally arrived we’re that much closer to the point of not being inundated with ads for diamond stores, though those will still run rampant until Valentine’s Day.
Honestly, the best ad for a diamond store was a parody ad on “Family Guy.” It featured the familiar shadows on the wall from the old Zale’s (or whichever store it was) ads, with a man’s shadow sliding a diamond ring onto a woman’s shadowy finger. The two shadows embrace, and the woman slowly begins to drop to her knees as we cut away to the tagline: Diamonds…she’ll pretty much have to.
That’s much more effective than “Every Kiss begins with Kay,” which would actually make the word “Kayiss.”
In any case, I suppoe that’s more than enough humbuggery for one Christmas day, and in all seriousness I hope that all of you out there are actually enjoying whatever blessings the season has to offer.
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