Gloomy and Irritating

So my “weekend” is upon me once again.
At this point it seems to be off to a fairly gloomy and irritating start. A storm, or what passes for one in these parts, is on its way through. Naturally, before the first tiny flakes even started leisurely drifting to the ground, schools were closed for the day, and the rest of the population went in an apocalyptic frenzy of shopping for non-perishable items to ensure that they’re able to survive until tomorrow, when the storm will be over, on a year’s worth of rations.
I needed to get a few things, so I decided to head out into the world first thing, before the snow actually started to fall, in order to avoid at least some of the panic-stricken populace.
I was only partially successful in that respect, as the streets were already teeming with panicky parents and bored kids who really ought to have been in school, since there was not, and still isn’t, any immediate danger posed by the weather.
School-age kids in Northern Virginia, though, seem to spend most of their time out of school, as “bad weather” aside, most schools are closed more often than they’re open between random holidays (I never got frickin’ “Presidents’ Day” off when I was in school), teacher in-services, and “we just plain don’t feel like teaching anyone” days.
I always thought that one of the advantages of having my days off during the week would be that I could venture out into a world relatively free of teens and pre-teens. It seems I was mistaken.
I find it sort of ironic, though, that in a high-tech corridor like NoVA we're producing a bunch of future morons, as they're never in school to actually learn anything...
Last week, to make up in some part for the restraint I showed at Circuit City, I purchased a little electronic widget that I have no real use for, but that I want simply because I think it’s cool. It’s called a DiskOnKey.
I ordered it on Wednesday, and didn’t really expect it to arrive until sometime this week. However, it shipped pretty quickly, and actually arrived on Saturday.
Because I was at work I wasn’t here to sign for it when it arrived, and instead of just leaving it at my door, the way I’d hoped they would, FedEx brought it to the rental office.
Which is fine, I suppose, but it just meant that I had to go two days knowing that it was so close, but not being able to actually have it, as I leave for work long before the rental office opens, and don’t get home until after it closes.
So this morning I headed over to pick it up.
The new girl working there, the one who seems to have taken the place of Kelly, the girl who once, out of the blue, told me that I smelled REALLY good, was in, and greeted me with considerably more cheer than I’m accustomed to encountering in the morning.
She took the little slip that FedEx had left at my door and said, “Tell me your name. I mean, I know I’ve met you before but…”
I told her my name and she responded “I’m Jackie.”
I said that it was nice to meet her, thanked her for giving me the package, and was on my way.
To be honest, she was quite a bit cuter than Kelly had been, but at this point I’ve stopped doing much more than simply making a mental note of such things, so I didn’t even attempt to lay on whatever I may (or may not) have that passes for charm, particularly since, unshaven and unshowered (though I did manage to get my hair to behave before heading over there), I probably looked like complete garbage.
And of course there’s the usual probability that she’s already involved with someone, and that it wouldn’t really improve my chances even if she weren’t.
This morning I stumbled onto a blog for bacon lovers.
There was a point in my life when, if asked (and usually without being asked), I would tell you that the three greatest things invented by man were, in order, beer, bacon, and naps.
Since I’ve quit drinking bacon has, by default, moved into the top position. I don’t nap as often as I once did, so that’s made naps sort of fall off the list as well, leaving me with bacon, and bacon only.
Of course, I don’t eat nearly as much bacon as I once did. In fact, I frequently go months without eating bacon, which, once upon a time, would have been unthinkable.
Then again, the same could have once been said about not drinking, or about getting through life without caffeine, or without smoking, and yet, now I don’t drink alcohol, I avoid caffeine, and I quit smoking nearly a year ago.
So those facts don’t say much for bacon’s chances.
I did enjoy some bacon over the weekend in the form of a Chicken Bacon Ranch sub from Subway, but that’s not the same as when, back in the day, I would go into a Perkins restaurant after a long night of drinking and order bacon.
Just bacon. A big, heaping plateful of bacon.
Or when I would order a bacon cheeseburger, and request that bacon be substituted for onions, substituted for lettuce, and substituted for tomato.
I only once got someone to make a burger that way, actually adding bacon to it in place of every condiment rather than simply giving me a bacon cheeseburger with no onions, lettuce, or tomato. As I recall, that one instance amounted to thirteen slices of bacon on one burger.
It should be abundantly clear that at the time I had no interest in physical fitness.
Sometimes I’m amazed that my heart never just seized up and refused to go on.
In any case, it was with a certain sadness that I looked upon the bacon blog and realized that my love of bacon is nowhere near what it once was, though I was glad to see that there is someone out there who loves it enough to dedicate a space on the Web to it.
Loyal Threshold readers may have noticed that my humble blog has received a visit from yet another Red Sonja, this one a contemporary of Wendy Pini. My thanks to Diane De Kelb-Rittenhouse for the comments and the brief history lesson, and thanks of course to Wendy, the current Sonja, for pointing Diane my way.
As an update to my post last week in which I complained about the lack of indicator lights on my wireless keyboard for things like NumLock, my thanks to Scott for pointing out to me that the indicators are actually located on the wireless receiver. My powers of observation, it seems, are as keen as ever...
I will undoubtedly be back later with some more pointless ramblings, but for now I plan to spend a few hours engaged in the pursuit of absolutely nothing as I dedicate the rest of my day to my favorite deadly sin, Sloth.