I was just randomly looking through some Web sites one day (I think; I don't really remember) and stumbled across this page, which presents the (and the "shouting" is the page creator's, not mine) CHRONOLOGY OF THE WHOLE HUMAN HISTORY.
One thing I've never understood about fundamentalist Christians is why they're always so concerned about the state of the world. After all, they already know how it's all going to end, and that all of us liberals, homsoexuals, evolutionists, and secular humanists are going to end up in the Lake of Fire anyway. So I don't understand why they can't just leave us to our wicked, wicked lives and content themselves with the knowledge that when the Rapture comes we'll all be left behind.
On that note, though, "The Daily Show" recently did a report on the Rapture, discussing this service which will send out an e-mail to those you leave behind (assuming you're a good Christian) when the Rapture comes and you're transported bodily to Heaven.
You can view the segment here. It's the clip titled "Heaven Can't Wait."
But back to the aforementioned Chronology of the Whole Human History, I can't help but think that, in this regard at least, there would be some benefit to eliminating the separation of church and state. I mean, how hard could History class be if all you had to learn was fewer than 8,000 years of total history?
And Science classes would be a breeze. How does gravity work? Because God makes it work. Why do people get sick? Because they're sinners. Why did the dinosaurs die? You wouldn't even have to ask that question; there were no dinosaurs, you filthy heathen.
And you'd only ever really need one textbook.
With a curriculum like that you'd have to be a total moron (or a filthy heathen) to not get good grades, and school wouldn't need to last for much more than a couple of years. I mean, would you really need 12 years (not counting pre-school and kindergarten) to learn everything you need to know?
Certainly you wouldn't need a post-secondary education. After all, what good would it do you? There's nothing more you need to know than what's in the bible.
You don't need doctors. After all, if people get sick or die it must be the will of God. There certainly aren't any complex, yet understandable, biological processes involved. How could there be? I mean, it's not like we evolved over time or anything.
Computers? You don't need to know how to use those...unless you're reading the bible on CD-ROM.
So yeah, I guess life would really be a lot simpler.
Sure, you'd have to give up reading, watching movies, watching TV stations other than PAX, playing games, using birth control, having sex for pleasure rather than procreation, and basically just give up having any kind of fun at all, but hey, fun is overrated anyway.
There'll be plenty of time for fun in Heaven. After all, that JC is a total party monster and nobody knows how to party like the religious right, and the place will positively be crawling with them, so...what? No fun allowed in Heaven either, just more chaste and pious living for the rest of eternity?
Oh.
Still, it should be nice. Sort of like living in an episode of "Leave it to Beaver," only, you know, not quite so racy.
In any case, I still think that having this absolute certainty about how things are going to turn out would make fundamentalists a little more laid back.
After all, it must be sort of comforting to know that life, ultimately, is going to be just as predictable as a romantic comedy.
In any case, I think that's going to do it for me for this week. I hope you all have a nice weekend.
Hopefully next week I'll write up some of the entries that have been milling about in my mind for a while.
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