Sunday, February 10, 2008

Keyword Kraziness: Kill Fish Edition

It’s time once again to take a look at some of the traffic drivers for this blog and find out just what search strings are bringing visitors here for a 0-5 second stay, or as I like to call it, Keyword Kraziness.

how tall if kirsten kemp of hgtv
I’m assuming you meant “is,” not “if.” Even allowing for that, you still got things wrong: she’s on TLC, not HGTV. As for her height, I recently watched an episode of Property Ladder in which someone stated that he was six feet tall, and when standing next to him Kirsten appeared to be as tall, and possibly taller.

superhorse fucks superwoman
Okay, let me say up front that yes, if we read between the Comics Code Authority-approved lines, back in the Silver Age, Comet the Super Horse, did want to fuck Supergirl. That is to say that he had romantic feelings towards her, and, though it never happened on-panel in comics when those stories were told, the standard culmination of romantic attraction usually involves some form of sex.
The whole thing a little (but only a little) less creepy than it seems on the surface in that Comet was not technically a horse, but rather a Centaur who had been inadvertently transformed into a horse by the witch Circe. He’d gone to Circe in the hopes of being turned into a human, as he’d fallen in love with a human woman. Circe screwed things up and pushed him in the opposite direction, turning him into a horse. I don’t remember why she couldn’t reverse the change, but to make up for it, she granted him immortality and super powers (In Silver Age Superman/Supergirl stories, gaining super powers meant, by default, gaining super powers similar to those of Superman. The exception to this was when the point of the story was to have someone be able to do something that even Superman couldn’t.). Thus, he lived on from the Hellenistic period of ancient Greece and was around in the mid-20th Century and living in the town of Midvale, home of Supergirl.
But yeah, so far as I know, Supergirl never got into any overtly freaky Kryptonian/Equine action, though he did, of course, get to spend a lot of time between her legs.
As for Superwoman – a villainous member of the Crime Syndicate of Earth 3 – I have no doubt that kinky bitch got it on with a horse at some point.
In any case, you might try checking out alt.binaries.erotica.cartoons to see if there is any fan/pervert out there who’s whipped up an image of the sort you’re looking for.

kari ann peniche brink of peeing
Years ago I did this (Just Barely Safe for Work) picture of Ms. Peniche (or at least part of her) from her appearance in Playboy. It’s possible that she’s on the brink of peeing, but I can’t really say for sure, and am not particularly interested in knowing. I’m not into the whole chicks peeing thing, and seriously don’t understand the appeal.

little shavers dicks
Am I correct in assuming that you are looking for the penises of young boys? None to be found here. I’d say “keep looking,” but I’d prefer that you just stop. No, not looking: breathing.

quesada creators
I’m assuming that would be Mr. and Mrs. Quesada.

hot chicks shooting heroin
They probably won’t be hot for long if they keep shooting heroin.

nudity vouyers
There’s a guy working in the porn business as actor, director, and producer, who goes by the name Vince Vouyer. I assume that, like him, you don’t know how to spell voyeur.

cute chick safeway
Which Safeway?

fish automatic doors
I see variations on this one fairly often, usually with the word “kill” also present. Is there some sort of urban myth floating around that automatic doors somehow kill fish?

my first day in porn
How did it go? Did you happen to work with Vince Vouyer?

watch bikini cavegirl free
Even that’s too expensive.

Well, that does it for this edition of Keyword Kraziness. Keep that Kraziness koming!
(Oh, and speaking of traffic drivers, given that they so frequently post links to me, I’ve added a link to When Fangirls Attack! over on the right.)

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