It’s A Sin

Earlier today on Facebook I shared a link to this Comics Alliance post about a goddamn* Frank Miller Gucci commercial.
Setting aside the totally bizarre notion of Frank Miller directing a Gucci commercial in the first place, it’s actually not a bad commercial, as far as commercials go.  It’s sleek, stylish, and sexy, and is, naturally, reminiscent of the movie adaptation of Miller’s Sin City.
Longtime readers (AKA Scott) may recall that several years ago that movie was one of the things I was looking forward to most in life, and that I was not disappointed.
Since then I’ve been waiting for the sequels, which seemed inevitable at the time, but which have failed to materialize in nearly a decade.
All of that will be changing in October when Miller and Rodriguez finally reunite to make a new Sin City movie, one which will feature adaptations of two of the stories from the comics, and will feature one entirely new story written specifically for the movie.
One of the adapted stories, which will serve as the sort of centerpiece of the movie, is A Dame to Kill For, which is probably my favorite of all of the stories set in Basin City.
Seeing that story adapted is the thing I’ve most wanted to have happen in a sequel.
For much of the time that I’ve been waiting for that to be adapted it’s been my fervent hope that  Scarlett Johansson would be cast for the role of Ava Lake, the story’s titular – Settle down, Beavis; it just means she’s mentioned in the title – dame.
I had hoped that even if it meant that she proved to be unwilling – which seemed likely – to appear sans clothes in the story’s many, many (many) nude scenes, though I had also hoped that she would be willing to do so because, well, because Scarlett Johansson.  Duh.
Given that she worked with Miller in The Spirit, a movie I refuse to dislike regardless of what anyone says about it – so seriously, don’t bother saying anything about it – I had hoped that my hopes were hopefully more hopeful.
More recently, I had come around to thinking that Christina Hendricks would also be a good choice (all of my comments above about the nude scenes, naturally, are just as applicable).
Back when the first movie was in the planning stages, they had considered adapting Dame, and had talked about casting actress Maria Bello in the role.  That was kind of a head-scratcher for me.  Don’t get me wrong; she’s a perfectly attractive woman and a fine actress, but she was, in my less-than humble opinion, not exactly right for the part of Ava.
The same goes for Rachel Weisz, whose name was thrown around a lot after the first movie was made.
Angelina Jolie was also considered a viable option for a time, and while I think she’s more suited for the part of Ava than Bello or Weisz, it just seemed kind of…obvious.
Unfortunately, recent casting announcements have not only dashed my hopes, they’ve taken them out back and shot them in the head, execution-style, as the role of Ava is being played by Eva Green.
…
So I hate to be shallow here, and I don’t want to be mean, but…I just don’t find her to be especially attractive.  Certainly not Ava Lord levels of attractive.  And given that I’ve seen The Dreamers, even if I did find her attractive, the potential for her to be nude onscreen as often as Ava was in the pages of the comic wouldn’t hold that much appeal.
I’m still looking forward to the movie, of course, but I have to admit that it seems pretty likely that I’ll be sitting there thinking, “Really, Dwight?  This is the woman you spent so much time mooning over, and are now willing to throw your life away for?  This is the woman that can completely manipulate every man she meets?”
You can argue that James Bond seemed to be rather fond of her, but I don't know if that's a ringing endorsement, given his obvious sex addiction.
So, yeah.
Still, I will at least be able to see if the new story serves as an example of Miller’s frenzied descent further and further into batshit insane self-parody continuing unabated, because that’s always kind of entertaining to watch, or at least it proves fascinating in a train wreck sort of way.

*Speaking of Miller’s descent into self-parody, this classic (“classic”) panel, from All Star Batman and Robin, serves as the reason I refer to the commercial as a goddamn Frank Miller Gucci commercial:

And this is the goddamn Batmobile and I'm taking you to the goddamn Batcave.

Who's Responsible For This?

There's an old Kids in the Hall sketch in which some corporate CEO all excited about the day's upcoming company event - a picnic or a softball game or somesuch - which will be taking place outside. However, when he opens the blinds in the conference rooms he sees that it's raining cats and dogs. "WHO'S RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS?" he screams in frustration. Everyone starts pointing fingers at each other, and he makes his way down the corporate ladder as each person assigns the blame to a subordinate, until finally he's down to the janitor, the person on the lowest rung, and the CEO declares, "You're fired!"
At that point, the rain stops, the clouds disappear, and it turns into a beautiful sunny day.
The reason this comes to mind is that earlier today I was checking out prices on flights to Michigan for my upcoming annual pilgrimage home.
Out of curiosity, and for the sheer hell of it, I decided to see how much more First Class tickets would cost than Ecoomy.
I wasn't prepared for the answer.
It was more than three times the cost of a regular ticket.
I've flown First Class a couple of times; it's totally not worth that much money. For those kinds of prices you ought to get head.
At the very least.
Even though I had no intention of flying First Class anyway, seeing that pissed me off, to the point that I found myself angrily wondering "WHO'S RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS?" and wish that it were possible to find that person and give him or her a call:

"Hello, operator? Get me the person responsible for setting the price on First Class airline tickets. Yes, I'll hold."
"..."
"dadadada da da da the girl from Ipanema - dammit! Stupid hold music."
"..."
"Hello, this is Tad Funklesworth, Director of First Class Airline Ticket Pricing. How may I help you?"
"Hi, my name is Jon and I was just wondering...are you fucking retarded? $700 more for a slightly bigger seat and a shitty meal? Assuming the flight even has meal service? And you don't even get head out of it? Go fuck yourself, Tad."

As mentioned, I'd never bother with flying First Class anyway, unless I was going to be spending hours and hours and hours on a plane. However, the flight from Dulles to Minneapolis only takes about two and a half hours, and the flight from Minneapolis to home doesn't even have a First Class section because it's just a tiny little puddle-jumper.
So fuck you, Tad, or whoever you are.

All Of The Above Leads Me To A Question Department:
When he turned 40, legendary comic book writer and beard enthusiast Alan Moore declared to friends and family that it was his intention to become a magician.
Not a stage magician, but an actual magician.
He said that he didn't really know what was going to come of it, and that he was trusting his loved ones to warn him if it seemed as though in his studies of the mystical secrets of the universe he might be going mad.
The question this raised among said loved ones was "How would we be able to tell?"
Which leads me to my question: does it seem like I'm getting angrier?
Seriously, I was totally pissed off about something that, by my own admission, had no real impact on me, and I find that it seems to take less and less to piss me off more and more.
I realize that it's an unfair question, given how high a level of anger serves as my baseline, and, as with Moore and madness, how would you be able to tell if Jon is actually getting angrier?
Still, I'm just curious as to whether or not my apparent increase in rage levels is apparent.

Random Declaration Department:
If they ever make a movie based on The Doom Patrol (I'm currently reading Showcase Presents The Doom Patrol Volume One), and it features The Brotherhood of Evil as the villains (which it should), the voice of Monsieur Mallah should be provided by Jean Reno.
Why? Because a super-intelligent, beret and bandolier-wearing French gorilla voiced by The Professional? I have two things to say to that: fuck and yes.

Apart from casting roles in movies that don't exist, getting pissed about the cost of something I have no intention of buying, and finding myself a little troubled by my rising levels of non-specific and multi-directional rage, not much else has been going on, so I guess that will do it for this entry.