Greetings From Michigan's Upper Peninsula

For anyone wondering, I arrived in Michigan safely and without incident.
It felt strange to arrive at the airport knowing that there wouldn't be anyone there to greet me.
Because my mom doesn't drive, she no longer owns a vehicle (she sold the van after my dad died), so if I wanted to get around while I'm here I had to rent a car.
Since I was picking up said car at the airport, there was no point in having anyone come to get me at the airport.
So yeah; no one greeting me at the airport. The only other time I've had that happen was when I moved to VA from Tucson.
However, I did randomly encounter an old friend from my drinking days who was at the airport to pick up her sister. Given how long it's been since we'd had any meaningful contact, it was kind 0f an awkward endcounter, though, and not exactly the sort of "Welcome home" greeting that I'm accustomed to.
At least I got a fairly nice car from the rental place, a Hyundai Tucson, which I'd never heard of before.
When I left VA, it was about a thousand degrees with three hundred percent humidity. I arrived in MI to find that it was a thousand and one degrees with four hundred percent humidity. The heat wave is, apparently, due to break soon.
So far things have been pretty uneventful, but that's generally how things are in my life whether I'm here or in VA.
The only real development is that I spoke to my realtor and my offer on the house has been accepted, so I will soon be the proud owner of a monumentally huge amount of debt.
Oh, and an end unit townhome in a cul-de-sac with four bedrooms, two and a half baths, and a huge back yard.
I will, of course, keep you posted on anything of note that happens here, and, of course, provide some sexy vacation pictures somewhere along the line.
In the meantime, I give you this hilariously adorable video clip. Enjoy!

And Miles To Go Before I Get The Hell Out Of Here

As I’m writing this it’s not yet 10 AM, a fact which speaks volumes for what the rest of the remaining 8+ hours I’ve yet to spend here will be like.
I am heartened only by the fact that after today is over I won’t have to return for 11 days, as I’m heading home to Michigan for a week on Tuesday.
Yesterday it was confirmed that we have, in fact, hired Clueless the Wonder Intern.
Fortunately it was also confirmed that he will not be working on my shift.
Ominously, the news about which shift he would be on was qualified with “For now.”
Thursday night after work I met up with my realtor and we went to the house I’m interested in to discuss things with the owner.
We made her a good offer – the best she’s likely to get considering that the house was on the market for 320 days before her listing expired – and I think things went well, but she said she needed to think about it for a while.
There was something about the woman who owns the house that was familiar, but I think that’s because she’s a certain kind of person. So I haven’t necessarily seen her before, but I’ve seen people like her.
I think there are lots of people like that: people who appear to be variations on a theme.
I know I’ve discussed the notion before, so that’s all I’ll say about it.
The man she introduced as her “friend” seemed like a nice enough guy. He works in printing, so we had some common ground and traded some printing war stories.
Interestingly enough, he had actually worked on a print job for my realtor a couple of years ago.
In any case, we’ll have to wait and see how things shake out. If she doesn’t go for it, I’ll just walk away. It’s not like I’m under any sort of time crunch. I can afford to wait to find the right place.
One thing that was kind of entertaining was watching David, my realtor, run the numbers past her. I don’t think he was deliberately trying to confuse her, but it was sort of like watching someone run the shell game or the “I didn’t give you a ten I gave you a twenty” scam. Seriously, it was a tremendous example of sleight of hand, and it’s possible that he missed his calling.
The meeting after work meant that I got home a bit later than usual, so I ended up going to bed later than usual. Just in time, in fact, to be kept awake by stupid new dog barking.
On the previous night, he had woken me up at the same time.
At 3 AM this morning I was awoken by the crowd of loud drunks which I think congregates on the balcony of the owner of the stupid old dog.
So what was it that I was saying about not being under a time crunch to move?
*Sigh*
One good thing that happened yesterday, though, was that my Hot Chicks DVD had arrived.
When I opened it I was pleased to discover that they’d included a special bonus: three genuine Chick Tracts!
I’ve yet to watch the DVD, though I imagine I will be doing so at some point today.
In any case I’m unlikely to have much more to say that won’t consist entirely of me complaining about how long and boring the day is, so I guess I’ll bring this to a close.

This Entry Contains Filler

I spent most of the afternoon working on a rather lengthy entry – a review and analysis of the Jack T. Chick film The Light of the World – that I’m not entirely pleased with and which I think needs to be retooled significantly before being posted.
So I’m not sure when/if you’ll get to read it, but I hardly think that constitutes a major loss.
I never got a call from the shop so I guess my car wasn’t finished by the end of the day.
I called my realtor to let him know what happened at my meeting this morning. Turns out he already knew, as he’d talked to the finance guy, and he said that there’s probably a lot we can do in terms of getting the price lowered on the property I’m interested in, which is good news, I think. I’m having to guess, as most of what he said …ounded…ike…is…utting…nd…out…efore dropping off completely.
When I tried calling him back I got his voicemail, so I have no idea what exactly he had to say on the subject.
When I was leaving the mortgage office this morning, the guy I’d been talking to noticed the ankh on the back of my neck and asked where I’d gotten my tattoo done.
Not wanting to say, “I got it in rehab” while standing in the lobby of an office building, I said, “Let’s just call it homemade.”
The office building is actually located in the little town center by that nice theater that Scott and I sometime go to. Since I was there, I had thought about taking in a movie afterwards, but the only movie I would have wanted to see – Knocked Up – wasn’t showing until after noon, and I didn’t feel like hanging around that long.
While I was waiting for Scott and Jamie to arrive at Uno’s for lunch, some guy came up to me and asked for directions on how to get to 28 South. I told him what I thought was the best route, while some lady whom he’d asked earlier sat listening and nodding her head. After he was on his way the lady said that she had a hard time trying to visualize the best route, which is why he’d had to turn to me after talking to her.
We chatted for a little bit until the person that she was meeting showed up. I told her about the time I’d lived in Red Wing and had been out walking one afternoon shortly after moving to where I was living at the time. A couple pulled up alongside me and asked me how to get to a certain street. I was forced to admit that I’d only just moved there and didn’t know any street names. They thanked me anyway and turned around and drove off in the opposite direction. Shortly after that I got to the end of the block and found myself at an intersection with the street they’d been looking for.
After her friend arrived and they went inside I thought to myself that this was just another example of how I never get to have chance encounters with attractive young woman, as this lady, while pleasant enough, was probably close to my mother’s age.
My own preferences aside, I don’t think even my mother is desperate enough for me to meet someone that she’d want me hooking up with someone in her age bracket.
Still, why couldn’t it have been an attractive woman my age? What is the universal law that prevents me from ever being in a circumstance in which I can just have this random chance encounter with someone other than guys and women in their 60s? Single women in their 30s don’t eat lunch?
Granted, even if I did have a chance encounter with someone other than a guy or a member of AARP the odds are that nothing would come of it, but it would be nice to find that out for certain.
Oh well.
In any case, this was mostly just a filler entry to make up for the entry I didn’t post, and seeing as how I’m not really under any obligation to post at al, I suppose I can bring this to a close.

A Few Updates

So it looks like I can actually afford to buy the house I like, though there is still some question as to whether I will.
I dropped my car off early this morning and got the loaner.
Turns out that my clutch is 65% worn out, which is not worn out enough for my warranty to cover replacing it. However, if I were to wait for it wear out completely it might do so after the warranty has expired anyway, and, with the warranty work that's being done today, if I had the clutch replaced I'd only have to pay for the parts, as the labor is essentially covered by the warranty work.
It's till $300, but I suppose it's better than gambling on it wearing out later and costing me upwards of $1,100.
On my way back home from meeting with the finance guy I stopped at Wal-Mart and realized that it was close to noon, so I called up Scott to see if he wanted to meet for lunch. I had him invite Jamie as well, and we met at Uno's.
I decided to put off my grocery shopping until tomorrow, as, after being out and about since 7:30, I just wanted to go home.
I may have to go out again, though, as there's a chance (I'm guessing it's a slim one) that my car will be finished today.
I think the loaner they gave me is the exact same car they gave me last time I needed a loaner. It's definitely the same model, but I'm pretty sure it's the same car, too.
Anyway, I'll post a lengthier entry later.

Seething Nerdly Hatred And Burning Nerdly Desires

Thinking a little more on the subject, it occurred to me that someone – someone other than me – if so inclined, could write a lengthy thesis on the gender politics of Revenge of the Nerds.
The main thing that this hypothetical person with even more time on his or her hands than I have and even less of life (if such a thing is possible) would be likely to conclude is that the nerdlier ranks of the male gender harbor some pretty deep-seated hostility towards women.
The basis for this hostility wouldn’t be hard to isolate – hey, rejection hurts – but I think that someone who has never considered it before would be surprised at just how much nerds hate women.
When I first began venturing out onto the Internet in the mid-90s, I know that I was amazed at the seething, white-hot hatred of women that was so apparent in message board postings and on personal Web sites. I never knew that there was such a strong vein of outright hatred of the opposite sex within the collective male psyche.
(In more than a decade, by the way, nothing has changed. At least not for the better.)
What was even more surprising was just how oblivious these nerds are to their own misogyny. Most of them would likely classify themselves as “nice guys,” if for no other reason than that they finished last.
Maybe once upon a time they were, but with bitterness having settled in, the nice guys would be difficult to uncover, if they’re even really there.
These are the sort of guys who might be heard to complain that, “Women only like jerks. They should like nice guys like me…the stupid bitches.”
(Of course I’m speaking in generalities: not all nerds hate women…and this sort of hatred is clearly not limited to nerds.)
In any case, my whole point is, beyond the rape and other acts of sexual assault, take a look at the role of women in Revenge of the Nerds, and the behavior of the nerds toward them. The nerds view women solely in terms of their own desires – I want her, therefore she should want me – and not as actualized beings complete in and of themselves.
Because they are only extensions of the nerds’ desires – consider the masturbatory nature of the relationship between Gilbert and his mirror-image nerd girlfriend Judy, who, because she is like them, is the only woman deserving of any kind of respect – it becomes acceptable to treat them with no more respect than they do the remote-controlled robot that cleans their frat house for them.
Okay, okay, I’m officially finished deconstructing a 20+ year old pointless movie.
However, on the topic of things that go back more than 20 years relating to nerds and sex, last night I saw that commercial for Veet or whatever brand of depilatory it is, that features Alyssa Milano and lots of shots of her legs. The first (well, I suppose you could argue that it’s the second, but I don’t think the first thing that comes to my mind necessarily qualifies as a thought) thing I thought, as I do every time I see the ad, is that they’ve done something to cover up her tattoos. I know she has at least one that goes around her ankle, but it’s nowhere to be seen in the commercial.
My next thought was the realization that I’ve wanted to bang Alyssa Milano for around 23 years now.
That’s like two-thirds of my life.
(I should mention that my wanting to bang her does not negate my recognition of the fact that she is an actualized being complete in and of herself and that she exists apart from my desires.)
Seriously, she’s the same age I am – a few months older, in fact – and by the time I was 12, which is when I would have first seen her on Who’s The Boss? I was definitely looking at cute girls my age (and older women, of course) and thinking “Awww yeeeahhhh.” Further, Alyssa Milano was pretty much what I imagined Kitty Pryde would look like in real life, so that definitely helped to solidify her position in my…well, let’s say “heart.”
(Other guys might say “spank bank,” but not me.)
Since that time she’s only gotten hotter, and my appreciation for her has never waned.
What is my point? Well, I guess I don’t really have one, but I just thought I should point out my realization that for more than two decades wanting to bang Alyssa Milano has been one of the few constants in my life.
Sad? Yes. Pathetic? Absolutely. Gross? I suppose. Crass? Duh.
Still, it is what it is.
So here’s to you – and your hotness – Alyssa, and to many more years of wanting to bang you!
Not much else has been going on in the life of Jon (yes, I know; that rhymes). I drove in to work for an hour-long training. I have another one tomorrow. It hardly seems worth it, until you consider that I can include travel time, so that actually works out to four hours of OT, which is a nice addition to last week’s holiday pay.
I also have to drop my car off at the shop tomorrow morning.
Monday I’m meeting with the finance guy to see if it’s possible to work out a loan that I can afford on that house I like. If not, it’s back to the drawing board to find something a little more affordable.
Still, it’s definitely worth looking into at this point because a. I really like it and b. the owner just took it off the market, which means that there’s a lot of opportunity to work out a favorable deal on it, as she still wants to sell it.
We’ll see what happens, I guess.

A Busy Week

So today I went around town with my realtor checking out houses.
I have to say that I was underwhelmed.
Out of all of the places we looked at, only two were at all appealing, and even they have some problems.
The one I liked most – 4 bedrooms, 2 ½ baths, with a HUGE yard – is way up at the extreme end of my price scale. It also suffers from some odd choices on the inside. For example, in the half bath, there’s a curtain that hides the full-size washer, which is sitting right next to the toilet. The dryer is located in a storage area outside. Also, what should be the dining room has been turned into a second living room/family room, forcing them to place the table in the kitchen, which would otherwise be a decent size, but ends up being cramped.
The other one I liked had no major issues, and was a decent price, but it wasn’t in a great neighborhood.
There was one other that was nice, a good price, and in a decent neighborhood, but ultimately was just too cramped.
As for the rest…yikes. Most of them fall under the category of “What were they thinking?” with crazy color and decoration choices. Sure, these things could be changed, and wouldn’t be so bad individually, but cumulatively they just add up to too much work and expense.
Others had good bones, but just weren’t maintained well enough, and certainly didn’t warrant the price tags.
In one home, David, my realtor, said, “I can’t let you live here. I wouldn’t be able to sleep at night.”
So it’s pretty much back to the drawing board, I think, but at least now I have a better feel for what’s out there, and David has a better feel for what I’m looking for, and even though the buy-back will be settled soon, I still have some time.
Tonight I’m going to see Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer with Scott and Stacy and possibly Jamie and Casey. It means going out later than I like, and having to travel to Manassas, but oh well. I had figured on Scott and I just catching it in Sterling right after he got off work. I hadn’t factored in Stacy and the others wanting to see it as well.
Oh well, though that does mean having to miss the premiere of The Closer tonight, though I have it set to record, and I’m sure they’ll rebroadcast it a dozen times between now and tomorrow anyway.
Tomorrow I’m taking this career management workshop thing that my company offers. It’s easy OT and the way things are going (what with being the only one out of the people I started out working with who hasn’t gone on to do something different), I figure it’s worth looking into. I already did some pre-work for it, which was kind of irritating. I mean, it was a bunch of questions that led to their system making some conclusions that I could have just told them without all the questions.
Oh well.
And on Wednesday evening someone from the condo developer (that “thick in a good way” chick, I think) will be here for some sort of final signing dealie.
So this is actually a pretty busy week for me.

Was It A Belated Gift Or A Really Early One?

The other day Kathleen informed me that she’d gotten something in the mail for me and that we should meet for lunch sometime this week. I mentioned that there are a lot of places to eat around the comic shop, so we agreed to meet in that area today, giving me the opportunity to have lunch, get my belated Christmas/birthday present from her, and hit the comic shop for this week’s new books.
So that’s what we did.
The belated gift was a copy of the Chicago Manual of Style, something that I’d suggested a while back.
Yes, I am enough of a nerd that I would suggest a writing reference book as a potential gift for me.
Anyway, it makes perfect sense; it’s something I’ve wanted for a while but was unlikely to ever get around to buying for myself.
So I am legitimately thankful for it, and have to say that as gifts go it’s several orders of magnitude better than a fish.
At 5 someone representing the new owners will be at the office to discuss the leasing options, so I’ll be heading down there to let them know that I’ll be opting for the month to month option.
On Monday I’m going to be checking out some houses with David. There’s one in particular that looks really promising, so I hope it looks good when I’m actually there.Not much else is going on, and Kathleen and I sat around talking so long after eating lunch that I actually started to get hungry again, so I think I’ll tend to that

And It's Especially True For MY Family

Prior to getting the letter about the closing of the buy-back, I’d been in touch with my realtor yesterday afternoon.
After sending him an e-mail with what I’m looking for, he set me up to receive listings that match my criteria via e-mail. Looking through the first one I got today I found several possibilities. Most of them are three bedroom townhomes, which would be cool, as I’d like to have space for an office/studio and still have a guest bedroom available.
Sure, I never have guests, but things can change (or so I’ve heard). Maybe my mom will come out to visit or something.
This morning I headed off to Wal-Mart to look for the Hellboy Animated: Blood and Iron DVD. I also picked up the Ghost Rider DVD. I’d been undecided about that one. The movie was okay, but I didn’t know whether it warranted buying the DVD, but once I saw it on the shelf I said, “Screw it,” and picked it up.
I also grabbed a copy of Not Another Teen Movie, as it was in the 2 for $11 bin and was therefore impossible to pass up. Granted, I can see the movie on Comedy Central pretty much any time that they aren’t airing some Blue Collar Comedy thing – which isn’t often – but I couldn’t not buy it when it was so cheap.
While I was there I saw a 46” 1080p LCD TV for about $1,300. I almost went for it, even though I don’t have any immediate need or use for it, and it’s just one other thing that I’ll have to move.
I mean, I’m never going to have HD service while I’m here, so it would just be sitting around unused until I move.
On the other hand, LCD prices have, by many accounts, bottomed out, so they’re not going to get any cheaper, and I would be prepared for when I have moved somewhere that I can/will get HD service.
While I was at home it occurred to me that I could use it as a huge computer monitor. There’s no room for it on my desk, so it would have to be paired up with Munin. The thought of this ginormous TV on my kitchen counter struck me as terribly amusing, and so I laughed at the idea for an inordinate amount of time (I’m still chuckling now).
Now that the settlement is so close, I’m kind of eager to get on with finding a new place, but the thought of how much money I could save if I were to keep renting for a while is pretty tempting, though I suspect that I would end up not saving that money anyway, and who knows what will have happened to the market if I wait.
Still, the prospect of signing a six month lease and at least trying to sock away the money I’d been paying above the rent amount is kind of appealing.
(Theoretically, in the course of six months I could sock away over four grand. Possibly more, considering that I’ll likely have my car paid off within the next few months.)
So I don’t know.
I just booked a flight home for the end of July. It was a little pricier than usual. I ended up going straight through Northwest because the prices on the travel sites were way up there, and I had a coupon for $75 from when I ended up missing my flight back in October and my brother and I got stuck in Detroit over night which I could only use if I booked through Northwest.
I also had to reserve a car so that I can get around while I’m there, as my mom doesn’t have a car.
It’s going to be strange going home and not actually going home, but instead going to my mom’s apartment. And of course, it’ll be strange not having my dad there.
While I’m there we’ll be going to some sort of family reunion. It’s my dad’s side of the family, and, more specifically, his mother’s family.
I’m sure it’ll be terribly exciting.
The biggest problem with family reunions? Lousy place to meet chicks.