Love, Comics Style

Things I've learned from reading the stories collected in Showcase Presents:  Young Love Vol. 1:

Sisters:  Threat or Menace?

1. Hospitals have staff-patient dances every other week.
2. The worst thing that can happen to a woman is to have a more attractive sister or girlfriend.
3. Dr. Bill Ames is a douchebag.
4. If you move away after losing your man to your romantic rival, don't bother trying to meet someone else, because your rival may die a few years later and your old boyfriend will need a new mom for his kid.
5. Agnes really wanted that new stove.
6. Mary Robin, RN, needs to forget about Dr. Bill Ames, and also needs to meet people outside of the hospital, as the patients she keeps falling in love with usually leave her, or die, and ultimately they don't help her get over Dr. Bill Ames anyway.
7. On the other hand, Mary, you might as well just get it on with Dr. Bill Ames, even if he just wants to hit it and quit it*, because you want it just as much as he does, and, seriously, you need to get laid so that you'll stop falling in love with every patient you encounter.
8. But seriously, Dr. Bill Ames is a total douchebag.
9. A shared appreciation of "long hair music" is a solid foundation for a relationship.
10. I need to try the line, "Say!  Where have you been hiding?  You're a doll!" because it seems to get the job done.

Bonus Lesson:  The sign above his parking space should read, "Reserved for Dr. Bill Ames, DB (Douche Bag)."

Bonus Lesson 2:  All joking aside, as atrocious as the stories are - and it's fitting that the writing credits for each and every one says "Unknown," as no one wanted to be held responsible - the art is gorgeous, especially the pre-Spider-Man work by John Romita, Sr.

Bonus Lesson 3:  I'm glad that my niece is already married, because Nurses really have it rough in the romance department, apparently.  Of course, based on what I've learned from the comics, my niece's situation should be impossible, as a woman can be a Nurse, or a wife, but not both.

*Actually, because it's a Code-Approved comic from the 1960s, it's kind of unclear what it is, exactly, that he wants.  After all, he can't just come out and say that he just wants to fuck.  I mean, I know that's what he wants, and I'm sure anyone reading it back then knew it, too, but in the context of the story it seems like all he wants to do is just have the occasional dinner and maybe do a little light, Code-Approved petting, whereas, after one date, Mary wanted to get married.