Friday, August 26, 2011

The Mind Of A Cricket

(Inner monologue of a cricket in my yard)
Man, living out here in the yard is bullshit!  If I could get into Jon's house, that would solve everything.
I saw Larry made it in last night - I bet he's living on easy street now.  Jon probably said, "Hey, come on in, Larry!  Make yourself at home."  Jon probably waits on him hand and foot and foot and foot.  Shit, I'm sick of being a sucker living out here in the yard like a chump when paradise is right through that door.  I'm just gonna wait here until Jon opens it up, then I'm gonna march right in and say, "Bitch, gimme a sammich!"  Jon will be all, "Yes sir, right away sir!"  Fuckin' paradise, man.  Just gotta wait here for my turn, then it's the easy life!

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