Dear Tree In My Front Yard,
How the hell many dead branches do you have? Every time I mow I find that you've deposited a brand new collection of them on the ground.
Sincerely,
Jon
*****
Dear Lawn,
I know that with the recent near-continuous rainfall we've had you've been growing like weeds. And I don't just mean the weed part of you, but all of you.
However, given the amount of moisture that the soil is retaining, mowing is virtually impossible for anyone short of Jesus. Seriously, it's like trying to mow seaweed. Please stop growing until after the ground dries up enough that I can walk on it without fear of drowning.
Affectionately,
Jon
1 comment:
I, too, suffer from an over-abundance of branches in my back yard. However, I don't have a tree within 10 yards of mine. Damn kids at the playground.
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