The Trifecta

Typically when I'm standing in line for any significant amount of time, one of three things will happen, usually in some combination, though it's kind of unusual for all three to happen.
Today was kind of unusual, so I got to experience the trifecta.
The first thing - and this one pretty much always happens - is that I get identified as the weakest link in the chain, the point at which people who are trying to cut across the line feel they have their best shot at breaking through. I'm not sure why that is. Maybe because I'm by myself? It certainly can't be because I look friendly and accommodating, because, srsly, I'm Jon.
The second thing that happens pretty reqularly is that there will be someone - usually a girl - in front of me who is even shorter than I am and is constantly turning around, getting up on her tiptoes, and trying to look over the crowd to find someone, shoving her face right in mine and nearly tipping over and against me in the process.
The third thing is dependent on there being some sort of technology involved in what I'm standing in line to get to, which was the case today, as I stood in line for the machine to buy my Metro pass: being behind old people who have no business trying to make use of technology more complicated than a rotary phone.
The girl who kept turning to look for someone finally found who she was looking for and got out of line, which left me directly behind three old people who took ten minutes to puzzle out the process of buying a pass. Then, after finally stumbling upon the right combination of random button-pushes, it took them another five minutes to remember what they did in order to buy the additional passes they needed.
Meanwhile, once I finally got my turn, it took me a grand total of fifteen seconds to get my pass.
(Again, while it was annoying, I was glad to see a lot of older people showing up for the Rally.)