Loathsome Me (And You)

The 50 Most Loathsome Americans, 2009

26. You

Charges: Based solely on Fox News and cartoon depictions of evil scientists, you think “Climategate” is a real controversy that somehow affects the truth of global warming. You think science is just another religion. You think Dan Brown writes nonfiction. You want the government to get its hands out of your Medicare. You think Dr. Oz can heal you with his palms. You believe in horoscopes. You bought a Snuggie. You’re suddenly outraged by government malfeasance because because a black guy got elected, or you refuse to be outraged by government malfeasance, because you don’t want to come across as racist. You think Avatar was either the worst or best film ever and you have film chops to describe why, yet you know fuck all about how the real world works, because you’re too busy satiating yourself with junk food, internet porn and “reality” HDTV to care. It took a fucking Underwear Bomber for you to learn about Yemen. You’re proud of your ignorance and proud of that too. In other words, you suck, you know it, and your every word is a sad and futile attempt to deny it.
Exhibit A: Glenn Beck.
Sentence: Glenn Beck.