Multiple Choice

(Instructions: Select one of the answers below the question that you think most closely resembles the truth.)

What did Jon do today?

a.
Roll out of bed around noon, careful not to disturb the still-sleeping European supermodels who are utterly spent from the previous night’s activities, make breakfast for said supermodels to build up their strength, then head back to the bedroom for another marathon session.

b.
Wake up in an alleyway in Istanbul with no recollection of how he got there, lead Turkish police and corrupt CIA agents on a thrilling rooftop chase, discover that he knows too much about a plot to stage a terrorist attack in the Midwest, make love to a beautiful American tourist who is ultimately revealed to be in on the plot, learn that his bedroom skills have made her switch sides, deliver proof of the plot to all of the major news outlets, become an international hero.

c.
Wake up at 3:30 in the morning, get up to pee, go back to bed, wake up again at 4:25, go back to sleep, wake up again at 5:44, get up to pee again, go back to sleep, wake up at 6:57, sigh, decide to get up, shower, dress, go to work, spend extremely long 8 hours at work, come home, sit around and do no much of anything, write up lame “multiple choice test” blog entry.

d.
All of the above.

e.
None of the above.

f.
Nobody cares.