Friday, December 28, 2007

Guess I Picked The Wrong Week To Start Shooting Heroin

Yesterday afternoon I got the e-mails I was waiting for to begin the “onboarding” process for my new job.
For the most part it was kind of annoying, as I was just providing information about previous employment and my education that I’d already provided, and just signing off on various agreements, but there were some convenient aspects, such as filling out my W-4 and setting up direct deposit. It’s nice that I won’t have to mess with all of that paperwork.
I also got the location of the place where I had to take the drug test and the form I had t0 bring with me, so I took care of that this morning.


A sample question from the drug test. They also ask you to rate your level of highness on a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being the lowest, and 10 being Lindsay Lohan the day before going into rehab.

Nothing sets the pace for a day like peeing in a cup.
The drug testing place was actually right by the place where AOL put me up temporarily when I first moved out here. The building had an interesting numbering system. I was looking for Suite 103, and had parked in front of Suite 102, which was at the end of the building. To the left of 102 was 101. To the left of 101 was 104, and to the left of that was 103.
I think the person who set up the numbering probably should have been tested for drugs.
After the drug test I swung by Wal-Mart to pick up a couple of things that I’d forgotten to grab yesterday. I was going to have lunch at the McDonald’s there, but it was too busy. I remembered that I was going to be stopping by the comic shop on the way home – new books are delayed until Friday this week and next – and that there’s a Subway right next to it. Budgetary concerns have led Scott and Stacy to cut some extraneous expenses, so Scott has chosen to sacrifice his comics. Pfft, like feeding your children is more important than comics. Get your priorities straight, Merlin T. Wizard! I’m the one not currently working, and that’s not stopping me from buying comics.
In any case, I picked up one of those Feast subs that Family Guy’s Petter Griffin has been hawking on TV from Subway, then made my way home.
And that’s been my day so far.

1 comment:

Merlin T Wizard said...

Yeah! You know what? You're right! Those selfish kids and their, "We're hungry, daddy," and, "The teacher says I should eat more than one meal a day." I just fed you last week, you ravenous little monsters!