So I just read this article about a report that shows that kids who have had abstinence only sex education are just as likely to do the wild thing as kids who haven’t.
There was a certain irony in that while I was reading it the music I was listening to shuffled to the song Children in Heat by The Misfits.
In any case, while reading the article I was reminded of that other article I read about kids who make that whole “golden promise” or whatever it’s called, vowing to God that they’ll keep in their pants until they get married.
Turns out that not only do they fail to keep their promises, they’re also more likely to engage in acts such as anal sex, operating on the “ass”umption that sodomy is kosher, since, in a bit of Clinton-esque reasoning, it all depends on what your definition of sex is. Technically if you take it up the other chute you’re still a virgin, these golden promisers conclude.
When I read about that, I thought, “Hmm, if I had know this when I was in high, I would have made my girlfriend promise to remain a virgin, know what I’m sayin’?”
(I also wonder if a golden shower is okay when you make the golden promise?)
Ugh, okay, I’ll change the subject.
I went out to do my shopping this morning, stopping first at the bank to deposit the birthday check from my mom. Normally I would have just used the ATM, but we were being assailed by a positively murderous wind today, so I opted to go inside.
While filling out the deposit ticket, I was getting extremely suspicious glances from this guy who looked kind of like a mixture of Matt Damon and the guy who played the roommate they were trying to get to kill himself in that shitty movie Dead Man on Campus.
I mean, they were just these totally paranoid looks as though he feared I was getting ready to attack him.
I got the same treatment from some guy at another pump when I was getting gas after that.
I mean, WTF? Okay, I can kind of see it from the guy in the bank; he was depositing a shitload of cash. (Though it was still stupid to be paranoid, I mean, the money was on the other side of the window being counted by the cashier, and he was like twice my size.)
But at the gas pump? Was he worried that I was going to steal his gas?
I was too damned busy trying not to be lofted into the next county by the wind to steal anything.
Yesterday someone went around and gave the buy-back offer letters to all of the owners. She mentioned to me that we had one holdout at the time (there have, apparently, been more since that time). Want to hear a shocker? It’s an old lady.
I guarantee you that the reason she doesn’t want to accept the offer is because she wants to screw over all of us young whippersnappers.
After hearing that I was thinking about how if life were like an episode of Law & Order someone would end up bumping the old biddy off. All of the owners who wanted to accept the offer would be questioned, one of us would be charged and brought to trial, then, in a shocking twist, it would be revealed that someone else murdered her for reasons totally unrelated to the buy-back.
And of course I’m not suggesting that she should be killed or anything retarded like that, I was just thinking about how well it would (and has) fit the L&O pattern.
(I know there’s been at least one murder case on the show that occurred under similar circumstances, which means that there probably has been at least one in real life, given their “ripped from the headlines” approach.)
Speaking of murder and headlines, I’m sure you’ve seen the news about what’s happened out here in VA at the Virginia Tech campus.
It’s pretty horrific and sucks most of the humor out of the above comments.
I just wish more people would take my advice: if you’re planning a murder-suicide, reverse the order.
After all, if you really absolutely feel the need to kill someone, why not just try yourself? There’s no need to take anyone with you.
Yes, I know that sounds heartless, but I’m not actually advocating suicide, I’m just making the point that while there’s no need to kill yourself, there’s even less need to go out and kill other people, especially innocent people who are just trying to go about living their lives. And while I’d like the total to be 0, a total of 1 dead person is a hell of a lot better than 21.
In addition to being the birthday of my bother Brad (and of Sharon, loyal reader and friend of Threshold), yesterday marked the six month mark since my dad died. I think about how hard losing him was (and is) on me, and then I think about what the family members of the people killed today are going to have to go through because of some sick fuck who couldn’t see fit to just blow his own brains out.
It’s bad enough to lose someone you love to some impersonal event like a heart attack, but to have to lose someone because some asshole had to make himself feel powerful or had something to prove…I can’t even imagine what that’s like.
*Sigh* Okay, enough about that, I guess.
Tomorrow and Wednesday I’ll be in a Flash training class with Scott. I’ve used Flash a little, but it’ll be interesting to get some actual training.
At least I hope it’ll be interesting.
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