Threshold Theatre Presents

On Tuesday when I was driving home from Web 2.0, there was a brief period during which the rain transformed into snow. I’d say at most I drove through about 100 yards worth of snow, and even that was half-melted before it hit my windshield.

That did not, however, prevent people from panicking.

What follows is a partly fictionalized dramatization of one man’s moment of panic and its effects.

The Day The World Came To An End: A Play in One Act

Charaters (In order of appearance):

Affluent White Male With an Unusually Large Sense of Entitlement

Guy in the Car Behind Him

(Ext.) A mid-priced luxury coupe soldiering on bravely through the deadly drizzle of Loudoun County.

(Int) An affluent white male with an unusually large sense of entitlement drives along carefully through the drizzle, shaken by its deadliness, but with enough wherewithal to chat away cheerfully via his bluteooth headset. The light of the headset provides a pale blue illumination.

Affluent White Male With an Unusually Large Sense of Entitlement: …so I said to her, “Look, maybe you didn’t notice, but I happen to be an affluent white male with an unusually large sense of entitlement.” That shut her up. Then I – wait, is that. Oh god. Oh my god. Oh my freaking god! (He slams on the brakes at the midway point of an intersection after having slowly edged forward when the light turned green. Lethal flakes of snow melt menacingly on his windshield. Unheard in the distance is the plaintive cry of the Guy in the Car Behind Him, who has slammed on his brakes just in time to avoid a collision. “What the..? You stupid son of a – “ ) Ohshitohshitohshitohshit! It’s snowing! Oh my god it’s snowing! What do I do now? What do I do? Okay. Okay. Okay. I can do this. I read up on this on the Internet. Turn into the skid, right? Okay, but I’m not skidding. I’m not skidding! I’m at a complete stop in the middle of an intersection! Do I make myself skid? What? What? (Tries to look in the direction of his cell phone; realizes that he’s got a headset plugged into his ear; tries to look at his ear.) You say I should just drive? Oh, but won’t I…you say I won’t immediately crash into something if I drive through this light flurry. You say once I get a about a quarter mile closer to Leesburg it’s not even raining. Well I – okay, but it’s snow. Okay, I’ll do it, but I won’t drive more than twenty miles an hour, and I will randomly hit the brakes frequently.

(Guy in the Car Behind Him swears. A lot. Snow stops falling. Rain stops falling. Fade to black)