An Open Letter To Justin Timberlake

Justin:

Like most of the rest of the world I felt nothing but relief on the day that you brought Sexy back.
Prior to Sexy's return I would sit awake at night imagining the agonizing torment that Sexy's parents were going through as days stretched into weeks without any clue as to Sexy's whereabouts and no word from Sexy itself.
Once you asserted with your electronically distorted voice that you were bringing Sexy back I let out a massive sigh of relief and joy.
However, once the sighing was over I couldn't help but notice that since coming back Sexy has not been the same. I see Sexy sitting there silently staring off into space and sullenly insisting that "nothing" is wrong. I hear Sexy crying into its pillow every night.
I've also noticed that you, like Sexy itself, have remained silent on the subject of where Sexy went in the first place, and your steadfast refusal to answer any questions about how you just "happened" to find sexy can't help but arouse suspicion.
Then there are the rumors that, prior to her ouster, you were in talks with Judith Regan to publish a book with the working title of "If I Took Sexy Away In The First Place."
I'm not prepared to make any specific accusations - I'm too grateful for Sexy's safe return - yet, but be aware that I'm keeping my eye on you, and if I find out that you were in any way responsible for whatever it is that hapened to sexy...well, let's just say that all of the generic danceable electronic beats, vocal distortion, trite, meaningless, and repetitive lyrics, slick production, and Cameron Diaz will not be able to protect you from the wrath of those who care about Sexy so deeply.
I know you were just out there boasting to the world about your accomplishment at the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show recently. Don't you think it's time you gave us the whole story?