I'm The Best There Is At Being A Loser

There are certain things that I can do that nobody else I know can do.
I’m not talking about good things, or interesting things, but rather, stupid, irritating, Keystone Kop-like acts of clumsiness and bungling incompetence.
By way of example, over the weekend work was pretty light, so our boss decided that, as kind of a rotating trade-off, one of us could leave early on Friday and one of us could come in late on Saturday.
As I’d just gotten back from vacation, and Simon was going to be off on Saturday anyway, we opted for Scott to leave early and for me to come in late.
This was ideal, as it would allow me to stay up and watch the “must see” one-hour episode of The Office that I’d recorded the night before without having to sacrifice any sleep.
Here’s where my “talent” for doing things that nobody else can do comes into play.
I stayed up past my usual bedtime watching The Office as planned, then, rather than waking up two hours later than I normally would, I woke up two hours earlier and found myself completely incapable of getting back to sleep, regardless of how tired I was at the time.
This is, of course, after having gone to bed later than usual.
So I’m the only person I know who, when presented with an opportunity to get more sleep ends up getting less.
I tried to get back to sleep for quite some time to no avail before finally just acknowledging defeat and getting up.
After sitting around and doing things for as long as I could stand it, I showered and made my way out into the world and on to work, stopping first for a McDonald’s breakfast.
Naturally I ended up getting to work earlier than I needed to be there (which Scott predicted with 100% accuracy because when it comes to that sort of thing I am exactly that predictable.).
I had to hit the caffeine pretty hard to keep awake for what proved – despite being slightly shorter – to be a long, irritating day.
That night, despite being exhausted, I found myself unable to get to sleep until well after 2, which made for a 23 hour day.
Each time I nearly drifted off there was something odd that shocked me back to consciousness, like a shifting of my pillows that made an unusually loud noise right in my ear, or someone outside (apparently, at any rate) belching in such a way that it sounded like it was right in my bedroom.
Once I finally did get to sleep I only managed to get in about 6 hours before getting up to spend the day not doing much of anything.
I didn’t even get to have my Sunday Tanya Memme fix, as A&E aired exactly zero episodes of Sell/Move this House, opting instead for that Mindfreak guy and a marathon of The First 48.
The night again found me struggling to sleep and up until nearly 3 am, at which point I fell asleep and woke up 2 hours later and struggled to get in another 4 hours.
I’m not sure why I’ve been having so much difficulty sleeping lately. I mean, it’s not like it’s exactly complicated.
Guess I need to take some kind of refresher course or something.
While I was sitting around watching the season finale of Dexter, Kathleen called to ask if I was dressed, tell me where she and Brian were eating, invite me to join them, and inform me that they were already there as she got a cal from someone else just as she was about to call me to tell me that they were on their way there.
This put me out into the world a little earlier than planned, as I was going to go out to have lunch, then go to Best Buy before my appointment with the chiropractor, so this meant that I had to kill a little more time at Best Buy than I’d intended.
After doing so I headed to the chiropractor and continued to try to keep my mind open, thinking about all of the people who talk about chiropractors being miracle workers.
I thought about how much of that might be an example of the placebo effect, but concluded that it doesn’t really matter if it is or not if it gets rid of the pain. I mean, it’s not like we're talking about having cancer and only thinking that it’s getting better when in reality it’s still progressing. My wrist and arm hurt; if simply convincing myself that something is making them stop hurting makes them stop hurting, then what does it matter if it’s just a placebo effect in action?
So here’s hoping that, if need be, I can trick myself into believing that it’s working, thereby making it work.
Or something.
In any case, I have two more appointments this week for work on my neck and wrist.

Why I Was At Best Buy Department:
Since I no longer have VoIP service and don’t have a landline phone, I’m back to using my cell phone as my only phone.
This wouldn’t be a problem except that when I signed up for my current cell service I had VoIP, and so I didn’t need a lot of monthly minutes.
Oops.
I was considering some different VoIP options, but then saw an announcement that Skype was offering their SkypeOut service, which gives you unlimited calls in the US and Canada, for only $29.95…a year.
Seemed like a bargain to me, especially considering that until January 31st they’ve actually lowered the price to $14.95 a year.
For those unfamiliar with Skype, it consists of a program that you install on your computer and through which you create a Skype account, and can make phone calls over your broadband connection. The service is free if you’re only calling or receiving calls from other Skype members. There are various options for pay service, such as the plan I signed up for, but you can also buy credits and make calls at an extremely low rate.
Now, the drawback to this is that, in a standard set up, you have to be at your computer using the Skype dial pad and communicating via a headset.
Enter various third-party companies making Skype-certified products to free you from your computer. There are a lot of different options: USB phones that plug into your computer, Wi-Fi phones that connect to your computer via your wireless network or any open wireless network, or, and this is the option that I went with, adapters that you plug into your computer that allow you to use a normal phone.
I picked up one of these at Best Buy and set it up once I got home. This allowed me to put the dual cordless handsets I’d bought for my VoIP service back into use.
So far I’m impressed by the quality of calls. They’re virtually indistinguishable from standard landline calls.
There are a couple of minor drawbacks, though. For example, while I can make outgoing calls, I don’t actually have a phone number, so the only people who can call me are other Skype users who have my contact information (username). I could add a number that non-Skype users can call, but it’s an additional fee (a service called SkypeIn), and is currently only in beta. Also, the price listed for it is in Euros, and I don’t know the conversion and am too lazy to find out.
Ultimately it doesn’t really matter that I don’t have a number, though, as I have unlimited incoming minutes on my cell.
However, for those interested in using that aspect of the service, the advantage is that you can choose to have your number be located anywhere. Say your mom lives in Chicago, but you live in Paris. Get yourself a Chicago number via SkypeIn and suddenly it’s a local call for your mom.
Another drawback is that as it’s not intended to replace your regular phone service, you can’t call 911 via your Skype phone.
The other minor complaint I have is that even with the adapter that lets me use a regular phone I can’t just pick up the phone and dial it exactly the way I would a normal phone. In order to get Skype to dial the number you input, you have to include 00 + the country code, then the area code and phone number, and then an asterisk at the end.
However, if you put numbers in your contact list you can assign speed dial numbers to them.
Overall it seems like a decent service so far, and I would say that with the $14.95 a year deal (or even at the $29.95 a year price), and factoring in the costs of the SkypeIn service and the equipment (I paid $60 for the adapter I bought at Best Buy; there’s another model that sells online for as little as $30, but I didn’t want to have to wait and have a problem with the company that makes that one anyway, which I don’t feel like getting into here. The Wi-Fi phones can get pretty pricey, but you get coupons for some of the hardware from Skype for signing up.), you’re probably going to save over your regular service.
Okay, I’m done shilling.