Once again it’s nearly time for The Venture Bros.
Once again I’m not able to watch it.
It seems that all of the channels that I hadn’t been able to get last weekend because of the rain are no longer saying that they’re attempting to acquire a satellite signal.
The rain is over, the problem is resolved.
On every channel except Cartoon Network, that is.
Actually, I take that back. Cartoon Network isn’t saying that it’s attempting to acquire a signal, and it’s displaying sound and picture.
It’s just not displaying the sound and picture for the motherfucking Cartoon fucking Network.
*Ahem*
Excuse me. What I mean to say is that instead of finding Cartoon Network programming when I switch to channel 47 I’m greeted with the general information channel for Dish Network, which tells me all about using my Dish Network receiver and remote and how to order Dish Network programming.
I seriously need to find out if I can sign up with a real cable company.
(In the meantime, “Zalfiro” informed me that the episode is already out on a torrent, so I’m currently downloading it)
I opted to order a pizza for dinner, and while I was eating it I figured I’d throw in a DVD, deciding on The 40 Year Old Virgin.
The movie remains hilarious, but I found myself laughing especially loudly at one particular line:
“I love women, okay? I respect women. I respect them so much that I completely stay away from them.”
Great line, and so familiar. So agonizingly, blindingly painfully familiar.
But funny.
Longtime Threshold readers may recall that when I originally saw the movie there was a scene that featured a porn actress which prompted me to say to Brian, “Hey, I know her! That’s Stormy!”
I immediately went from being proud for knowing the name of the porn actress making a cameo to being ashamed for knowing the name of a porn actress making a cameo.
But what can I say, Stormy is a personal favorite.
Not so much of a favorite that I would shell out $80 to buy the rubber cast of her…parts that she sells on her Web site, though.
I’m not kidding. You can seriously buy a rubber replica of her naughty bits online.
How bizarre is that? I mean, I should think it would be odd enough to know that there are guys out there pleasuring themselves while watching you have sex, but then to kick up the creepiness factor exponentially by thinking that some of them might be doing so with a cast of your…it beggars (buggers?) the imagination.
Still, she clearly has a sense of humor about it all, as is demonstrated by one of the DVD’s special features called “My Dinner With Stormy,” which features one of the movie’s co-stars and co-producers meeting with Stormy. He’s clearly unaware that they arranged for her to flirt with him as outrageously as only a porn star can (that she had a fake tattoo of his face on her breast was an especially nice touch), and it was fun to watch him squirm as he tried to figure out how to approach the situation.
Totally changing gears, there’s something that I’ve been debating about whether or not I should mention here.
I’ve decided that I will.
On Wednesday night my former mother-in-law was in a very serious car accident. The other driver was killed, and she was very seriously injured. Basically, her car’s engine ended up on her lap.
Apparently her chances for survival aren’t especially high, and given the severity of her injuries I can’t imagine how well she could possibly recover if she does survive.
Despite how things turned out between me and her daughter, she was always good to me and was basically the only one of my in-laws with whom I didn’t have a problem.
So even though I’m not a believer in the power of prayer, I wouldn’t say no if any of you wanted to say a prayer for her.
Okay, that’s the end of the serious part of our program.
We now return you to your regularly scheduled smart-ass, irreverent, pointless Threshold, already in progress.
…and he said “Recutm? Damn near killed ‘em!”
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