Threshold Digest

Via e-mail, my “friend” who calls himself “Zalfiro” informed me that my posts of late have been really long and that he’s been simply “skimming through them.”
(It seems that size does matter. And here I thought he wasn’t a size queen.)
While it seems to me that over-long posts are hardly a recent phenomenon, I decided that I should take this observation to heart, as the views of one reader of Threshold represent a significant percentage of the overall readership.
The question, then, becomes “What do I do?”
How do I make my posts shorter? Avoid parenthetical asides? Wrt wtht vwls?
Skip every other word? How I that?
Write in cyberspeak? U hav 2b kidding.
Then a thought occurred to me: pretty much nothing actually happens in my life.
This was more of an epiphany (leaving out “big words” was another option I considered) than it might seem, given that for almost two years I’ve been stretching out a whole lot of nothing into these too-long posts that need to be skimmed over in order to be made manageable.
I paired that realization with some of the more entertaining of Gail Simone’s YABS entries I read over the weekend: “Condensed Classics,” Reader’s Digest versions of popular comic books.
So today, after way too much of an introduction that you’ve probably skimmed over anyway, I present, Condensed Threshold.

Nothing happened and I got angry about it. I’m lonely and I want everyone to leave me alone, which shows that I’m complex and conflicted. I need to get laid. The dog barked.