Sad AND Pathetic? Wow, He's The Total Package!

So I’ve determined that the incredibly needy dog is in the unit above me.
I’ve done this based on the fact that the person above me seems to get home a bit before 8, at which point, in engaging in the usual activities people engage in after getting home from being gone all day, I can hear the desperately attention-starved dog rampaging around following obsessively on its owner’s heels.
I would go insane if I had to put up with that kind of dependency, and I will never understand why people do it to themselves.
Of course, knowing where the damn thing is doesn’t do me any good. I mean, I could complain, but what would come of it? The dog barks during the day because it’s lonely, and it’s unlikely that anything can be done to cure it of its morbid dependence on its owner.
Oh well.
My day began earlier than I actually wanted it to as I found myself wide awake a bit before 8 am. I couldn’t get back to sleep, so I got up.
I sat around idly surfing the Web for a while, then downloaded and watched a couple of episodes of Justice League Unlimited, which apparently have been airing on Cartoon Network in the UK for weeks before they started airing new episodes in the US.
After talking to my mom I ventured out into the world, where, despite the fact that it had stopped snowing yesterday morning and all of the major roads were clear and dry yesterday afternoon, schools were closed and a good percentage of the population did not go in to work.
As it was close to lunch time and all I’d had for the morning was a protein shake and an apple, I decided that I should stop somewhere to eat so that I wouldn’t be grocery shopping on an empty stomach.
I didn’t really know where I was going to eat; I just sort of drove around the shopping plaza looking for something that appealed to me.
Once I’d parked, I just started walking and saw that there were two choices ahead of me, a Chinese place and a pizza place. Up until I put my hand on the door to the pizza place I really hadn’t been sure which I was going to choose.
While I’d been walking I’d been aware of this couple behind me, laughing and flirting and, even though they were behind me, just generally rubbing my face in their togetherness.
“Oh, we’re young and in love and it’s the day before Valentine’s Day and isn’t it so wonderful that we have each other?”
To make matters worse, they followed me into the pizza place and came and sat in the booth next to me, so I got to hear they’re cloyingly sweet conversations throughout my meal, which made it considerably less palatable.
I’d had to choose to sit in a booth as there was no other place that would allow me to have some amount of inconspicuousness in this place where I was the only person who was there alone.
Admittedly not everyone in there was a couple, but everyone else was at least paired up.
After I ate I did my grocery shopping, came home, took care of a couple of bills, got my mail, and that was pretty much my day.
Driving in to work yesterday morning I spotted a vehicle that had gone off the road. I remained baffled as to just how it happened. I mean, it was on a straight stretch with no major turns, there wasn’t much traffic, and the road was plowed reasonably well, so I just couldn’t see any way for this to have happened without some major effort being put into it, as this person was way off the road. At a glance, it looked like the tracks went straight in, too, so it seems to me that this person just deliberately drove straight off the road.
That’s one thing I’ll give this area as far as dangerous traveling conditions: there are no snow banks, so going off the road can be much more dangerous and bothersome.
Despite being a hateful holiday designed to remind people like me that we suck, tomorrow does have some redeeming value in the form of being the day that Neil Gaiman and Dave McKean’s movie Mirrormask is being released on DVD.
I can’t really recommend that everyone go out and buy it (But hey, everyone: go out and buy it), as it’s not a movie for everyone, but I would say that if you enjoyed Labyrinth or The Dark Crystal, or if you are somehow a fan of Sandman or pretty much any of Gaiman’s other work who hasn’t seen the movie, or at the very least isn’t already planning to pick up the DVD, I’d say check it out.
On the topic of movies that are at least peripherally related to comics, the other day I saw somewhere that Spider-Man 3 will be released in theaters in May of 2007.
It occurred to me that by that time I will be 35 years old, and I realized that I will be a 35 year old who will be excited about going to see a movie about a guy who got bit by a spider and gained spider-like abilities and wears a silly costume while he swings around and fights people who are even more ridiculous than he is, and that this will likely be the highlight of my summer, if not my entire year, and for a moment I was keenly aware of just how sad and pathetic that really is.
And then I thought, “But at least I don’t own an ant farm.”
I’m kidding, of course. I realize that despite the fact that I don’t have an ant farm (but do have a working immune system), I’m a much, much bigger nerd than Brian could ever be (even if he did go to Space Camp).
So don’t get your firefighter Underoos in a knot, ant boy: I acknowledge my higher level of poindexterism.
Happy?
Of course, none of this actually dampened my enthusiasm for seeing the movie, which I suppose is also rather sad and pathetic.
Bitter, nerdy, boring, and unrepentantly sad and pathetic: how come I can’t get a date?