Pizza Budgets And Discourses On The Drying Of Paint

So far it’s proving to be an extremely slow day at work, and with three hours down there are still nine and a half to go.
On one of my frequent trips to the bathroom (I sit at a desk drinking water all day; I make a lot of tips to the bathroom. Since I quit smoking it’s pretty much the only thing there is for me to do to break up the monotony.) I noticed a sign for some meeting/training thing.
The notice included the words “Pizza will be available.”
It occurred to me that a lot of people who are totally uninterested in the actual topic will go just for the pizza.
It also made me wonder, as I often do, just how big my company’s pizza budget is.
I mean, between all of our various locations across the country we must spend, at a minimum, hundreds of dollars a day just on pizza.
Just think how much good that money could do if some of these lard-asses were willing to forego having pizza at boring meetings that they’re only going to for the sake of having pizza and instead we set aside that money for charitable causes.
Or better yet, think of the raises and bonuses they could give me. Screw helping other people!
When I arrived at work this morning I was greeted by the sound of a couple of people having a conversation about fishing.
I had thought it impossible for the conversations here to get even more boring than they alreaday are, but the fishing discussion proved me wrong.
Up next, I think, will be a rousing discussion of the fine art of watching paint dry, which will, no doubt, lead to many heated arguments.
“No way, man! Matte finish is the paint to watch!”
“Nuh uh. You haven’t seen anything until you’ve spent time watching a glossy enamel dry!”
“Enamel? Dude, you’re an idiot.”
With the levels of inane discourse and nerdly passion about matters of utter insignificance – about which every person present deems himself an expert – I sometimes feel as though I’m living inside the comments on a Slashdot article.
Because it’s the weekend and I know that there will be no progress on the mortgage, my weekday feelings of anxiety have faded, as they always do.
However, I know that the instant I wake up on Monday morning the knot in my stomach will instantly reappear and I’ll be feeling as though I’ve swallowed a bowling ball until Saturday rolls around again.
I just wish I knew what was going to happen one way or the other. The loan application has actually gone to the underwriter, which is good, I guess, but I’d still feel better knowing for sure how it’s going to turn out.
Especially if it’s going to turn out in my favor.
In any case, today the hours continue to slowly tick away here at work, but I’ll share with you all one of the sites that helps me to pass the time.
You Can’t Make it Up is a blog kept by a very funny young woman in New York and is always good for a laugh, so stop by whenever you get the chance.
In the meantime, I’ll be here watching the clock.