This morning I got up about an hour earlier than usual.
It was my intention to throw a load of laundry into the washer and then head out for a walk once the clothes were ready to be put in the dryer.
Everything was going according to plan until my phone rang. It was my dentist’s office calling to ask if I could stop by at around 10. I said that I could, though this meant that I wouldn’t have enough time to squeeze in a walk.
As I always am, because I hate sitting around at home waiting to go somewhere, I was early to arrive at the dentist’s office, so I decided to take some time to sift through my CDs and find one of the less readily-accessible CDs in my collection to put into the player for later.
While I was doing this I was peripherally aware or a well-dressed woman who appeared, from what I could see, to be reasonably attractive, engaged in some kind of struggle with something in her car as she stood there for an extended period of time having her hair blown about wildly by the strong, cold wind.
Before I got out of my car I noticed that she had finally won the struggle and was on her way towards one of the buildings in the little professional plaza where my dentist is located. As it appeared, at first glance, to be some kind of infant carrier, I promptly pushed any thoughts I might have had about the woman out of my mind.
However, as soon as I got out of my car I heard a woman say, “Shit!” and I saw that the woman appeared to have lost the struggle with what she was carrying.
It turned out not to be an infant, but rather a large bucked filled to overflowing with various tools. I asked her if she could use a hand, and she explained that it was her “Closing gift.”
She tried picking the bucket back up, and as she strained to lift it, all the while trying to blow her hair out of her face, she said, “No wonder I’m so fucking skinny!”
I offered my assistance once again, and she stated that I could carry the bag of tortilla chips that was also, apparently, part of the gift. I indicated that I could carry rather more than that, and she asked that I also carry her oversized purse.
She was going to a building past the one that I was headed for, but I pointed out that I had time to spare, and so could carry my rather light and ungentlemanly load all of the way.
As we were walking, she asked if I was from the area, and I responded, “For now,” explaining that my future living arrangements were presently up in the air.
She asked if I was looking to rent or buy, and when I said buy she responded that I was “talking to the right person.”
I said, “You’re a realtor?”
She indicated the gift she was carrying – which, she explained, was for a “handy” woman – and said, “Duh.”
I laughed and said, “Of course. I mean, who isn’t a realtor around here?”
With a laugh that indicated mock outrage, she said, “I suppose that’s true, but they’re going to be dropping off like flies soon,” a sentiment that she expressed once again before we parted, along with the hope that she wouldn’t be one of them, indicating that she thought the real estate bubble is well on its way to bursting.
Once inside the building without the wind battering her she was better able to handle her burden, and though I had mentioned that I’m already working with a realtor, she asked if I wanted her card anyway, “just in case.” To be polite, I accepted.
I never managed to get in a ring check. I think she was wearing gloves. She didn’t seem overly flirtatious, though she was appreciative of my efforts to help her out.
I guess this is her here, though she had much darker hair this morning than she does in the picture.
Once I got inside my dentist’s building I was assaulted by the smell of burnt popcorn.
Inside his office, the girl with the big boobs told me that they’d be with me shortly, and after a while I heard her complaining to the cute – but far too skinny – Asian girl that she smelled popcorn and that the smell of popcorn makes her nauseous.
I warned her to stay out of the hallways, as the smell was much stronger out there.
Apparently her aversion to the smell of popcorn began when she was pregnant and never went away. It effectively prevents her from going to movie theaters, though if she does go, her defense is, apparently, to buy nachos and simply hold them in her mouth so that all she can smell is her cheese.
The cute Asian girl laughed when she said, “so that all I can smell is my cheese,” and I had to agree that it did sound funny.
Shortly after this exchange was finished I was called back to an exam room and fitted with my partial plates, just in time, as the doctor noted, for Thanksgiving.
After getting some quick instruction in their care I was on my way out with a mouth full of shiny new teeth!
They still feel very odd and cumbersome, and I believe it will be a long time before I become comfortable with them.
Eating with them is kind of a dodgy – and gross – proposition.
I have to say that while it was the most appetizing thing on the menu (which says a lot about the menu) at the cafeteria at work, where I stopped for lunch before a meeting that I had to go to in the afternoon, a pulled pork sandwich is not exactly the ideal choice as the food with which to take your new teeth for a “test drive.”
And while they obviously look better than big, gummy toothless expanses, I do have to say that I’m bothered by just how noticeable the clips that hold them in place are if I smile.
Fortunately I seldom have cause to smile – and usually don’t smile even if I do – so that’s not too much of a problem.
I’m currently working on learning how to hold my mouth in a natural position and to train myself to ignore them.
In any case, I’m back to being about 6,000 words behind on my novel, but I just wanted to share the story of my random encounter with a somewhat attractive realtor in which I got to at least kind of chivalrous and about my new teeth.
Speaking of realtors, mine just called me to set up a time to check out some condos on Monday.
But that will do it for this entry. I hope you all have a good weekend.
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