Apparently Tom Cruise has knocked up Katie Holmes (Let me just say this one last time before she gets all fat and riddled with stretch marks: mmm....Katie Holmes....).
I think there would be a certain bitter irony if Katie were to suffer from post-partum depression and manage to make Tom's life miserable because he won't let her go on antidepressants...
Of course I'm just being glib (Sorry Tom; I know you hate that. Now quit jumping up and down on Oprah's couch.), and I don't actually wish them any sort of misfortune.
Not that it would matter if I did, though, as I've come to the conclusion that the reason Tom has had such good fortune in life is that he's actually a leprechaun, and therefore has his lucky charms to keep his career going strong and to ensure that he keeps getting to nail extremely women who are much taller than he is, though being taller than Tom is pretty much a given...
On another celebrity baby front, Nicholas Cage has named his newborn son after Superman.
Kal-El Coppola Cage...there's a name that no one will make fun of.
I mean, how cruel can you be to a child? It's bad enough that kids are going to pick on him for having a dad who appears to alternate between being manically insane and overmedicated for said mania, but to give him a name like that? Why not just put a sign on his back that says "Beat the shit out of me" before you send him off to school?
What's ironic is that years ago Cage did a sketch on "Saturday Night Live" that was about these expectant parents who were trying to pick a name for their child, and the joke was that Cage's character, whom at the end we learn had a name (which escapes me) that was a guaranteed bully magnet, was breaking down every suggested name to find ways in which it could be used to make fun of their child.
Apparently the lesson of that sketch failed to sink in for him.
So, little Kal-El, from someone who's had to put up with a lifetime of "Pope" jokes, you have my sympathy...
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