As something of a bad, private joke I keep a pair of handcuffs in the drawer of the nightstand next to my bad.
It's a joke because my bed doesn't have a headboard, so there wouldn't be anywhere to handcuff someone (willing or otherwise).
Oh, wait. That's not why it's a joke. It's a joke because there's no one likely to be in my bedroom to be handcuffed (willing or otherwise), so it's a joke in the same way that my keeping condoms handy in that same drawer is an even funnier joke.
Or sadder. I forget which.
In any case, after talking to my mother and then participating in my weekly conference call for work, I sat around for a bit before finally opting to venture out into the world.
I went out to pick up a longer S-Video cable so that I could leave my DVR hooked up to my computer.
While I was there I picked up some Y-Jacks for the audio-out from my DVR so that I could have the audio connected to my DVD player/receiver and my computer at the same time as well.
I was certain that I had audio cables long enough to reach the computer, so I didn't buy new cables, as I briefly considered doing.
(I was mostly right on that score; the cables reach, but they aren't long enough to be tucked neatly away behind the book case.)
While I was out I opted yet again to buy a meal (I went with a Southwest Salad at Chick-fil-a, so it was a little healthier than some of my other dining experiences this week).
Going to Wal-Mart and a popular restaurant around noon is probably an extremely bad idea for me, as by the time I got to Safeway and was picking up a few snacks for the weekend my patience for dealing with other people was at a near-record low.
People just idly standing in my way, driving too slow in a frickin' Jaguar X Type, babies crying, and people just generally looking and acting stupid: it all came very close to sending me off on some kind of "Incredible Hulk" style rampage (minus the green skin, purple pants, and superhuman strength, of course).
As the vein was throbbing in my forehead, it occurred to me that there was a time in my life when I had a lot more patience.
Or course, it also occurred to me that there was a time in my life when I actually had a sex life.
The two things may be related.
And I suppose that when I had more patience all I was really doing was internalizing my anger without expressing it...which is why I have such a major stockpile now. I still try to internalize my anger, but it's sort of like stuffing it into a garbage bag that you know you need to haul out to the dumpster, but which you really don't feel like having to mess with, as it's bound to spill out if you disturb it, and you very well might be out of garbage bags anyway, so you wouldn't be able to replace it even if you did haul it out.
I do manage to sfuff some of it in, which is why I don't go around slamming into other cars or punching people, but even so, it doesn't take much to set me off.
Long gone is the Jon who might have been considered stoic and uncomplaining.
My patience was tried even more when I got home and tried to connect the S-Video cable.
It took me forever to get it turned the right way to plug into the computer, and even after I did, Media Center wasn't able to detect the signal, which resulted in a stream of profanities.
After taking a breath and disconnecting the cable, closer inspection revealed that I'd bent one of the pins when trying to shove the damn thing into place on the computer.
I calmed down a little further and grabbed a knife (I figured it was probably wisest to get the knife after I'd calmed down) and used it to straighten out the pin.
I tried connecting the cable again, resulting in the pin bending once again and my calmness going out the window (which is, coincidentally, almost where the cable ended up).
Retrieving my serenity, I very carefully connected the cable to the computer and the DVR, went through the setup once more, and success!
It was shortly after succeeding that I discovered a major limitation with MCE: it doesn't have any controls for capturing video frames as still images.
I tried installing some of the TV tuner software that came with the card to use inside of Windows, but it all sucked.
Ultimately I found that the best method, though it's a bit clunky, is to simply record whatever I want to capture from, then open the file that MCE saves in a different application that does support capture.
Like I said, it's clunky, but it works.
Beyond messing with the TV setup on the computer (and doing the laundry), I placed a call to a realtor who worked with Brian and Kathleen and Scott and Stacy (and a few other people I know). He had contacted Brian last week asking him to help get the word out on a condo that some clients of his are trying to rent out.
The asking price is higher than I want to pay, but they are apparently flexible, so it's possible I could get them down to a more affordable level.
In any case, I got his voicemail and left a message.
I suppose I should start more active searching for a place next week.
The problem, though, is that I just hate the thought of moving, so I avoid thinking about it as much as possible.
I especially hate the thought of having to continue to rent.
If I move into a different apartmen complex, odds are that somewhere along the line it will convert to condos and I'll be in the same boat.
If I were to rent the condo that Brian told me about, who knows when the owners will decide to sell it out from under me? I'm sure I could get a long-term lease, but even that's only temporary, and at this point, with my schedule, and rapidly advancing age, years fly by like months, so before I know it I'd be at the end of the lease and out on the street once more.
Of course, that's just the transitory nature of my existence, as, without somehow magically doubling my income, or meeting that "someone special" who can help resolve my "patience" issues and chip in with the bills, which, at this point, seems less likely than the magical income-doubling, home ownership is nothing more than a foolish dream for me.
Besides the future uncertainty involved in the whole "life for rent" thing, the more immediate hassles associated with moving are weighing on my mind.
Like having to talk to people like realtors and leasing agents, asking friends for help or paying for movers, getting settled in once I do end up somewhere...it's all just one giant pain in the ass, and I can't help but wish that I could just find some nice, reasonably dry cave (with electricity and cable hook-ups) somewhere. Of course, out here even that would run $1,500 a month....
In any case, my work week is very nearly upon me, so I will bring this entry to a close.
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