This morning I was awoken by the sound of two little kids outside my window talking about drinking wine.
At least, I think that was what they were talking about with their shrill little voices that pierced through the veil of sleep and woke me at 7:30 in the morning.
Why they would be talking about drinking wine, given that they were at least 14 years away from being old enough to do so, is beyond me, but the important thing is that they woke me up because children tend to talk to each other when they’re right next to each other at the same volume they would talk to each other if they were a hundred yards apart.
Even after the little boozehounds had been hauled off to baby rehab – or elementary school, as the case may be – and their horrid little voices had faded into vague memories of having been awoken by a sound worse than a buzzsaw, I found myself unable to get back to sleep, despite the fact that I’d only gotten a bit under five hours’ worth.
So I got up, thought about going for a walk, and decided against it.
In fact, at some point in the morning I decided that I wasn’t going to go anywhere or do anything.
And I didn’t.
In fact, at around noon I decided that since I wasn’t going anywhere or doing anything I might as well get the rest of the sleep I’d missed on, thanks to the baby wine connoisseurs.
So obviously my day was pretty uneventful.
This was actually my horoscope for the day:
Someone you adore is silently begging you to try -- just this once -- to be tender, romantic and maybe even sentimental. Okay, look. Try a new approach. Instead of dragging them out, rushing to be first in and out of everywhere and insisting that they carry everything -- you know how you feel about carrying things -- mind your manners. It won't kill you, you'll have a great time, and they may even agree to see you again. Soon! What's wrong with that for a battle-plan?
I think I will make that my battle plan. After all, I wouldn’t want to distance someone I adore and….wait a minute, that horoscope doesn’t apply to me at all! What the hell? I’m beginning to think that these horoscope things might not be 100% accurate…
Over the weekend I learned that the CD player on my alarm clock seems to have crapped out.
Saturday morning I was awoken by my alarm clock beeping as it tried, and failed, to start playing the CD.
Sunday morning I woke up on my own, a half an hour after the alarm should have gone off, as this time it didn’t beep. It was still trying, and failing, to play the CD, spinning it up and flashing the number of tracks on the display in an unending loop of failure.
The upside was that I had a convenient excuse for not going in and working out yesterday morning, but the downside is that CD player portion of the clock is shot, meaning that I’ll have to resort to being woken by the radio or the buzzer, and I can’t go back to being woken by a buzzer. In fact, all of the damn TV commercials that feature an alarm clock buzzer make me want to smash my TV, find the people responsible, and perform acts of unspeakable violence upon them.
Or, you know, just call them jerks.
The irritating thing is that this had happened once before, and I thought it was only a one-time thing. A fluke. Two days in a row, though, seems like more of a problem, but in playing around with it tonight, I’ve gotten it to work consistently several times in a row, so I don’t know if I should trust it come this weekend.
Speaking of CDs, tomorrow Fiona Apple’s long-delayed third album, “Extraordinary Machine,” will finally be released. A version of the album had been leaked out to the Internet a while back, though this commercial release, which contains the same tracks plus two new ones, is very different from what was leaked out.
I actually listened to the whole thing today at AOL Music’s “Full CD Listening Party,” which lets you listen to full CDs for free. I also checked out Liz Phair’s new CD, which is also being released tomorrow. As free music services go, I’d have to say that this one is pretty cool.
The other night I found myself dreaming that I was in some kind of teen comedy starring Lindsay Lohan and Hilary Duff.
I don’t recall much of the plot beyond the fact that there was some rivalry between Lohan and Duff, nor do I have any idea what inspired the dream.
All I do know is that it soon became apparent that this wasn’t going to turn into the kind of dream involving Lindsay Lohan and Hilary Duff that I’d be interested in being involved with, so I got up and walked off the set.
From there I found myself walking on a dirt road in the middle of nowhere (aka “Home”), and eventually made my way to a small cabin on a lake. Though it didn’t look exactly familiar, it was clear that I was someplace that I’d been many times, and it could very easily be a spot on a lake back home.
In fact, it was something of a small, secluded bay on the lake, though there were other cabins located around it.
I’m not sure when in my life this was supposed to be, but as I had been walking, I’d been thinking about how my mother had been finding it strange that every day I’d been going off on these increasingly long walks. I also knew that, whatever year it was, it was the 4th of July.
In any case, as I was hanging out on the deck of some complete stranger’s cabin staring out t the still water and smoking, a bunch of families began arriving to celebrate the holiday at their cabins, so I decided that I should probably go. As I was departing, and resolving that after I finished the pack and a half of cigarettes I had I would quit, one of the people arriving asked me if I needed matches. I said no and told him that I had a lighter. Then I was back on the dirt road. The overgrown trees formed a canopy over the road, making it look like a tunnel through which only scattered fragments of sunlight were able to shine as I made my way home.
I have no idea what any of it was supposed to mean, but it was all very odd.
On that note, I think I’ll bring this entry to a close.
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