Katrina And The Waves or Beads, Conservatives, And Zombies (Oh My!)

During the week I don’t really follow the news beyond seeing headlines on my Google portal page.
However, at work CNN is up on a big screen pretty much constantly, so I frequently find myself being made aware (or more fully aware, at least) of events I missed during the week.
Prior to the weekend I did know that Katrina had done considerable damage, but I wasn’t really aware of the extent.
Pretty much everything about the situation is disturbing: a total lack of preparedness, the baseness of human nature that leads to opportunistic looting, killing, raping, and, outside of the affected areas, price-gouging at the gas pump, the sheer impotence of our government in responding to the crisis, and the fact that I found myself agreeing with Newt Gingrich.
(Gingrich commented on how this natural disaster demonstrates just how ill-prepared we are for responding to a terrorist attack considering that we had advance warning that Katrina was coming)
And of course, there’s the fact that when help did arrive in New Orleans, rather than food, they had crate after crate full of beads and Guardsmen could be heard to yell “Show us your tits!” to the refugees waiting there to greet them….
Sorry, I couldn’t resist that one. The enormity of this tragedy is truly mind-boggling, and while I feel the sincerest sympathy for everyone impacted by these events, my approach to life requires that I find humor wherever I can. It certainly isn’t my intent to disrespect the people who survived, the people who didn’t, or those who are contributing to relief efforts.
In any case, now that relief operations are (finally) underway, the most deplorable events will occur as the Pat Robertsons of the world, unfazed by the world’s reaction to the recent assassination nonsense, will be all fire and brimstone (or rather, wind and floodwaters) about how this is just another example of God taking vengeance on our permissive society. They will, no doubt, point to the state senate of California voting to allow same-sex marriages as one of the causes (God, apparently, has lousy aim), and the evils of “judicial activism.”
On that second front, though, Robertson had his prayers answered in the form of Chief Justice William Rehnquist shuffling off this mortal coil. While Robertson had explicitly prayed for another opening on the Supreme Court, he will no doubt claim (if anyone bothers to ask) that he was simply praying for Rehnquist to retire from his job, not from his life.
Over the weekend I did read a conservative commentator who, while not blaming liberals for the hurricane itself, did blame them for the government’s failure to respond quickly.
I have to admit that this was a bit of a head-scratcher for me.
After all, liberals don’t control any aspect of the government. All branches of the Federal government are, quite securely, in the hands of conservatives, and the majority of state governorships are held by conservatives.
Further, most conservative politicians and commentators boldly claim that the majority of American citizens are like-mindedly conservative.
So if you run everything, what is your rationale for blaming the way things are run on the people who don’t run anything?
The reasoning was that the stain of liberalism’s evil grasp on this country just hasn’t been fully removed and that the conservatives just haven’t had enough time to get things in order, though there were no specifics involved as to how much time would be enough.
That’s always the irritating thing about conservative thinking: they never take responsibility when they’re at fault but they will always take credit when they don’t deserve it.
And yes, I do realize that this is not something that is unique to conservatives, but, I’m of the opinion that they excel at it.
For example, the prosperous economy of the late 1990’s, according to conservative commentators, had nothing to do with the then-current leadership, but was, in fact, the delayed effects of Reaganomics. Voodoo, it seems, takes a while to kick in.
However, the sluggishness and recessions that preceded this prosperity was somehow not the responsibility of the prior Republican administrations, as Jimmy Carter was apparently able to do more damage in his four years than Nixon, Ford, Reagan, and Bush number one could undo within the span of their combined twenty.
Considering that we are now, apparently, suffering from the effects of the Clinton administration, it would seem that most Presidents are better leaders when they aren’t in office.
So maybe that’s an idea the conservatives should consider. Maybe if they all just quit things will work out exactly the way they want them to work out.
Just a thought.
Seriously, though, when you run the fucking country, you have no business complaining about how it isn’t being run they way you want it to be run. Admittedly, I sure as hell don’t want it run the way you want it, but I’ll tell you this much, the country is never going to be yours until you take responsibility for it. Stop whining and finger-pointing, admit that you fucked up and dropped the ball, and get on with it. Quit blaming the courts, and the queers, and the feminazis, and the liberals, and the secular humanists, and wizards, and witches, and the devil and get your asses to work. No one wants to hear your excuses. You’re in charge now, so do your goddamn jobs.
Christ, didn’t any of you ever have a puppy when you were kids? If so, I’d hate to see how well you took care o them.
If you want this country so bad, it’s your responsibility to take care of it, and that includes feeding it every day, cleaning up after it, and taking it out for walks.
Now, the one point that hasn’t been addressed at in all of this is the fact that it is now abundantly clear that we would be totally fucked in the event of an outbreak of zombies.
I mean, by the time the National Guard came in to rescue us, we’d all be ambling around in that undead shuffle, moaning as we rot and hunger for the flesh of the living.
This occurred to me when I saw a picture of a black cop in New Orleans standing holding a shotgun and looking like Ving Rhames in “Dawn of the Dead.”
On the subject of zombies, though, there are several things I’ve often wondered.
For one thing, as hungry as they are, how come they always eat so little? Usually they take one good bite out of someone, then leave it at that, at which point the light lunch they’ve just enjoyed becomes a flesh-hungry zombie.
That’s another problem; what kind of species reproduces the same way it eats? I guess it’s sort of efficient, but what happens when all of the consumed are transformed into consumers? Okay, sure, the population isn’t going to die out without food, since it’s already dead, but what else is there to do? Shuffling around and moaning is fun for a while, but you’d think it’d get a little old after a while.
Of course, that leads to my other question: why don’t zombies eat each other? I mean, it would make perfect sense to me. You’re a slow-moving, flesh-hungry zombie. You can either chase after the fast-moving live meat that’s probably going to shoot you in the head, or you could just amble over to Frank, the dead guy from Accounting, and have a little gnosh.
I mean, what’s he going to do about it? He’s a freakin’ zombie.
Is it that zombies are snobs and refuse to eat anything that isn’t fresh? Who knew zombies had such discerning palates?
But back to my original point, if they would maybe gorge themselves a little more when they do get their hands on live meat, maybe they wouldn’t be so hungry later and wouldn’t have to keep chasing after every random live person that happens by.
On the topic of eating dead flesh, though, where are all the scavengers from the animal kingdom? I mean, you’d think that jackals and vultures would be having a field day in a city overrun with zombies. I mean, again, what are they going to do if the vultures come in to have a bite? They’re freakin’ zombies.
On a more serious note, I should mention that Brian, along with several other local volunteer fire fighters, will be heading down to assist with relief efforts. I’m sure he’ll have a lot of stories, good and bad, to tell when he comes back.
But speaking of Brian, this Thursday marks the passing of his twenties, as it will be his THIRTIETH birthday.
In honor of his birthday, I had a special card made for him, featuring this picture, with my hopes that all of his birthday wishes come true.
Making the card did make me consider the possibility of starting up something of a sideline business making custom birthday cards for people. It’s something I’m definitely going to give some thought. Stay tuned for further thoughts on this subject.
This morning I opted not to take a walk when I got up, but later in morning I decided that I wasn’t going to put it off any longer, but as I was preparing to head out Kathleen called and asked if I wanted to join her and Brian for lunch.
So I did. It had been Brian’s intention to eat at this steakhouse across the street from me, but we found that it was closed, as were several other restaurants and cafes, so we opted to get food from a pizza place that was open and dined al fresco, as it is a truly beautiful day today.
In any case, that’s going to do it for this entry. There’s a very good chance that I will be back with more later.