I had forgotten how much more traffic there is at 5:30 in the morning than at 4:30, so that was an unwelcome side-effect of sleeping in this morning.
My one day at work was surprisingly quiet and uneventful. That’s surprising because Fridays are typically our busiest days, and I was working what is usually our busiest station (and it’s typically especially busy when I’m working it because I just seem to have bad karma in that regard).
My drive home was a little irritating, as there seemed to be about 5,000 more cars on the road than usual, though my mood was bolstered slightly by the thought that I’ll be meeting Neil Gaiman tomorrow and that I won’t have to go back to work for a week.
As was pointed out in the comments to my post, “Threshold” features a “horny dwarf.”
Of course, I’m referring to the show “Threshold,” not the blog, because while I may be short, I don’t quite fall into the dwarf category.
But yes, there is a horny dwarf and he’s very entertaining, and, given that he has the hots for Molly (Carla Gugino), it seems that he and I have something in common.
The best scene with him took place in Molly’s bedroom after the team of investigators she leads had come to her aid when she was attacked by one of the aliens. She’s giving a statement to someone and glances at the dwarf. She looks at his hands and says, “Is that my underwear?”
He looks a bit uncomfortable, then quitely says, “Yes.”
“Well put them down.”
Abashed, he complies.
A dwarf after my own heart…
In any case, how can you not want to watch a show that has a horny, degenerate dwarf?
Speaking of shows I watch, I tend to watch “Food Network” quite a bit these days, and I’m finding that the shows I do watch make me run a gamut of emotions.
For example, “Everyday Italian,” with the crazy, hot Italian chick, makes me feel a little bit scared (and horny).
“30 Minute Meals,” with Rachael Ray and her constant repetition (Yes, dammit, I know that you can pop a lemon or lime in the microwave for ten seconds to “get the juices flowing!” You’ve only told me that a thousand times!), irritating mannerisms (Your mouth is too wide; stop smiling so damn much!), and “witty” expressions and plays on words (“I call it ‘stoup’ because it’s thicker than soup but thinner than stew!”), makes me feel annoyed (and, I will admit, horny).
There’s another show that I sometimes watch called “How to Boil Water,” featuring a gay/metrosexual chef and his female co-host, who tries to be a low-rent Kelly Ripa and who makes jokes that the chef doesn’t get (though he still laughs because even though he doesn’t get it he knows that they’re supposed to be funny), which makes me feel slightly amused (and, because the Kelly-wannabe is sort of cute, horny).
Finally, there’s a show called, “Semi-Homemade with Sandra Lee,” which I watch much less frequently. It seems clear that Sandra Lee has no children, but really, really should have some so that she can do something with her out of control nesting instinct. She frequently “borrows” her nieces and nephews to serve as her surrogate children, and given her obsession with table settings and dinner party themes, she strikes me as the type who makes her pets wear little outfits.
It came as no surprise to me on one episode when she began talking about the work she did with the pep squad in high school because she’s exactly that kind of woman; a perky, blond, “Stepford Wife” of a former head cheerleader whose life didn’t turn out the way she expected it to, and so she throws herself into doilies and cookies with little phrases written on them with edible ink and all manner of useless shit.
As much as she smiles, and she smiles a lot, she looks like she’s totally dead inside and her life, as pretty and well-decorated as it may be, is completely and utterly empty, and it just makes me kind of sad (and horny).
Okay, so maybe it’s not really a gamut of emotions, and I’ll admit there is a particular commonality among them all, since all of the women are at least somewhat attractive, but I thought it was worth mentioning here.
It seems strange to not be sleeping right now, and to think that I don’t have to get up ridiculously early tomorrow morning.
Of course, it seems even stranger to think that I’m actually going to do something with at least some of my time off.
EarlyThreshold Gift-Giving Ideas Dept.
In other Carla Gugino-related news, a few weeks ago, as I was nearly 100% certain there would be, I discovered that there will be a “special edition” DVD of “Sin City” that will have considerably more in the way of extras than the rather bare-bones DVD that was released recently.
Along with various extras, the multiple-disc set will contain separate versions of the movie: the theatrical version and the director’s cut.
Now I knew I was taking my chances when I bought the first release, and it was my intention to just buy the first version and whatever special edition came out later, but I didn’t realize at the time that the special edition would be contain both.
Of course, I will end up still buying the special edition, which will include a full copy of “The Hard Goodbye,” one of the graphic novels adapted in the movie.
That is, unless some kind, thoughtful Threshold reader were to feel the spirit of the season and buy it for me…
(It goes on sale December 13th)
In any case, it has been a long day and, working or not, tomorrow will likely prove to be long as well, so I think that will do it for this special Friday entry.
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