After all, from what I’ve seen, traffic is extremely bad between 7:00 and noon, so even though HQ is only a few miles down the road it could take upwards of a half an hour to get there, so I figured if I took my time getting ready and left by about 7:45 I’d be able to get there in time to get a decent parking space and to take advantage of a free breakfast being offered by the Chevy Chase Bank branch inside of HQ.
Though there was an inordinate amount of unmoving traffic, it only took me about twenty minutes to get there, so I had a lot of time to kill, and not much to do in order to kill it, so basically I just wandered around HQ for about twenty minutes, grabbed some fruit and a Danish once the bank opened up, then went outside to eat them. I took my time with this, so by the time I washed the stickiness of the Danish off my hands it was a reasonable time to walk into the class and find a seat.
When I got there only one other person (a woman, and a fairly hot one at that, whom I’d seen upstairs getting herself a free breakfast) in the room besides the instructor.
For his part, the instructor said, “You must be Jon,” and came over to introduce himself, which left me a little puzzled. Sure, I was wearing my badge, which has my name on it, but given the distance, and the fact that it had problem been entirely out of his field of vision when I’d walked in, it seemed unlikely that he’d read my name off of it.
Choosing not to delight in my puzzlement, the instructor explained that he was able to deduce my name based on the fact that I was the only male taking the class.
This fact, naturally, intrigued me.
Of course, shortly before the class started another guy, whose name hadn’t been on the old roster the instructor was working from came in. Still, that left me with a 7:2 female to male ratio, which could be considered decent odds.
Once the rest of the class filtered in, though, the odds dropped. Besides the aforementioned fairly hot chick (married) there was a not quite as hot chick and a not really very hot chick, while the remainder weren’t hot at all.
I never successfully completed a ring check on the two semi-hot chicks, though I imagine that at the very least they have boyfriends, since my experience has taught me that basically that’s just how life is.
As for the class itself, it was pretty good. Very straightforward.
Honestly, I was surprised to find just how much of it wasn’t at all new to me.
Apparently over the past decade, as I’ve looked at the source code of various sites and made a few manual tweaks here and there with HTML files I’ve worked on, I actually picked up a lot more knowledge than I ever realized.
Tomorrow, though, will most likely be entirely new to me, so that’ll be good.
I decided during the class that in addition to taking the XML class next month I’ll probably sign up for the CSS class as well.
(For any non-technical people reading this, it doesn’t really matter what XML or CSS are, so I won’t bother explaining them. If you’re really curious, you can always Google them on your own and find out.)
On my lunch break I met up with Kathleen (Who was on my voice mail yelling at me for not answering my phone when I got out of the movie yesterday, as she’d called to pass the time on her boring drive home from work and was annoyed at me for not answering. The funny thing is that, knowing that I so seldom get calls, I nearly left my cell phone on in the theater, but ultimately decided to shut it off.).
Unfortunately that won’t be an option tomorrow, as she’ll be in a meeting all day, so I’ll be left to fend for myself for an hour.
As I’ve mentioned many times in the past, there is an awful lot of eye candy at HQ (though most of them don’t seem to take training classes). In fact, I should probably apologize to Kathleen for the way my eyes kept drifting away in the middle of our conversations every time a hot chick walked by.
But naturally the fact that there are all of these hot chicks doesn’t do me much good. After all, a busy cafeteria at the corporate headquarters of the company I work for isn’t exactly a singles bar, so despite the fact that there are a lot of them it’s not an ideal place to meet chicks.
Beyond questions of propriety and acceptable conduct in a work environment, though, there are two other major issues. One of them is that I work in a different location entirely several miles away, and the other is that, at that other location, I work a schedule that is basically the exact opposite of the one that anyone at HQ is likely to work.
Because of this my approach would have to be one of just randomly walking up to someone in the cafeteria and immediately ask her out, as the two facts mentioned above would prevent me from being able to establish any sort of connection over time.
Putting aside the question of how well women respond to a total stranger just walking up to them and asking them out (which I can’t believe that, in general, they’d respond well to at all), we end up back at the matter of propriety and acceptable business behaviors.
Anyway, to get mostly off this topic, but to stick to the “hot chick” portion, last week I mentioned that I stumbled across a show on Food Network called “Everyday Italian.”
The star of the show is an extremely hot Italian-American woman, who, as I mentioned, sort of bugs me.
I had concluded that it was the fact that her “spokesmodel” style smile, which seems sort of odd of place and never goes away, coupled with a sort of crazed intensity in her eyes makes her look, well, sort of fucked in the head.
Beyond that, though, she wears these fairly glamorous clothes while she’s cooking, which also seem out of place. Also, whenever she’s just talking she sounds like your average American…until she says something like “mozzarella” or “spaghetti,” at which point she places an extreme emphasis on the words and tries way too hard to sound Italian.
With a name like Giada de Laurentis (and that nose), there’s no question that she’s authentically Italian (or rather, Italian-American), but when she tries to sound Italian, it sounds phony.
And irritating.
Still, as mentioned, she is hot, and she does cook some interesting meals, so despite the fact that all of these other things make her seem a little crazy and make me a little uneasy, or perhaps because of that uneasiness, I find that I’m powerless to look away.
So far everyday I’ve set her show to record on the DVR, and I sit and watch it in a confusing state of interest, irritation, annoyance, agitation, and mild arousal.
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As you can see, the chick is clearly crazy (and crazy hot) |
When I was leaving from the class today, as I do every time I leave from HQ, I found myself stuck for an extended period of time behind a long line of cars waiting for my chance to turn left.
I couldn’t help but think, “WTF?” I mean, it would be one thing if this happened once in a while, but this happens invariably.
Just every so often couldn’t I drive out to find no cars ahead of me, and/or a green light? I mean, statistically, shouldn’t that happen every so often?
But no, instead I continualy find myself stuck for ten minutes, and it’s not even like it’s just a couple of cars, or like it’s even just cars. Today there was a dump truck, a cement truck, a semi, and some sort of beat-up old van towing a huge trailer with what looked to be some sort of doomsday device being hauled in it.
Still, I did eventually make my way home, and it’s not like I really had anything to rush home for (other than to watch the crazy Italian chick), but even so, it’d be nice to catch a break every now and then.
Ah well.
In any case, there are a few things I want to do, so I guess that will do it for this entry (In which, you will note, I made use of some crazy HTML skillz, beeyotch!).
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