So last night I watched “Taking Lives.”
Overall, it was extremely predictable, and there’s not really much I can say about it except…well, since the early 90s Brad Pitt has clearly been establishing a pattern of “trading up” when it comes to the women in his life. Some people who aren’t me think that Gwyneth Paltrow is very attractive. Even if that belief were true, I think that most everyone would agree that moving to Jennifer Aniston was definitely a move up in the attractiveness food chain.
And now, in moving from her to “Taking Lives” star Angelina Jolie, he’s continuing the pattern.
Sure, she gives off this total psycho vibe, and I’m sure she’s the type that would leave marks, but damn.
I suppose that it’s sad that a beautiful couple like Brad and Jen has split up, but out of the wreckage a slightly more beautiful couple has been formed, and I doubt that the soon to be former Mrs. Pitt will be starved for company for too long, so I don’t think there’s a need to shed too many tears for them.
Of course, while Brad has managed to trade up (and honestly, I have to say I’m really impressed by the fact that he had the audacity to even think that it was possible to trade up from Jennifer Aniston, to say nothing of the fact that he actually pulled it off), there is one drawback for him: the distinct possibility that she might be comparing him to her ex.
Now, if her ex were George Clooney, or Tom Cruise, that would be one thing, but we’re talking about Billy Bob Thornton. Worse than just the fact that she might be comparing him to Billy Bob at all, though, is the thought that he might not stack up.
Still, it could be good for him. In ancient Rome, generals returning from successful campaigns were advised to “Remember thou art mortal” to remind them that there were indeed limits to their power and to prevent them from giving in to hubris and overarching ambition.
For someone like Brad Pitt, who undoubtedly feels a sense of god-like power (and who could blame him if he does), the reminder “Remember that thou might not compare favorably in the sack to a middle-aged hillbilly” can’t help but keep him at least somewhat humble…
As for Ms. Jolie and those lips, which sometimes seem like they have a career of their own, I have sort of a lust/hate relationship with her (and them).
Well, you can’t really call it a relationship, I guess, as she’s not really engaged in it in any fashion, so it’s mostly just me wishing I could nail her while simultaneously having a problem with her.
It’s not that she’s got weird tattoos or possibly sleeps with her brother (remember that, too, Brad; you might not stack up to him, either), or that “Hackers” was one of the biggest pieces of crap ever committed to celluloid. No, it’s something else entirely.
Eleven years ago, when Ms. Jolie was still just a beautiful, though probably freaky, nineteen year-old whose career was just getting started, I created a character named Fontaine.
At the time I hadn’t seen “Cyborg 2,” which would appear to be Jolie’s first “major” movie, so I had no idea that she even existed, but in creating Fontaine I pictured a beautiful, dark-haired woman with dark, piercing eyes and extremely full lips.
Sound at all familiar?
Beyond her physical appearance, Fontaine was an ass-kicking femme fatale, a thief and adventurer who tended to go into most situations with guns blazing.
So physically, Fontaine looks like Angelina Jolie, and in terms of personality she has a great deal in common with Lara Croft, a character Jolie played in two movies.
Even though Fontaine is, in virtually all respects, radically different from Lara Croft and I created her long before Jolie or Croft ever hit the scene, if I were to become motivated to enough to do more with Fontaine, the superficial, but undeniable, Jolie/Croft similarities would make her seem derivative and undoubtedly hamper her success.
And that’s my problem with Angelina Jolie; the simple fact of her existence.
After all, while a parent isn’t supposed to have favorites, of all of my “children,” Fontaine may very well be my favorite, so the thought that she might fail to find an audience through no fault or her own, annoys me.
Of course, I’m the real culprit here, as I clearly haven’t worked hard enough to make Fontaine a success over the past decade, thereby forestalling the whole problem.
In any case, the physical resemblance between my vision of Fontaine and Angelina Jolie is pretty uncanny given the timing. Sure, Fontaine is quite a bit taller, her eyes are ever-so slightly more Asiatic in shape, her full lips curve down into a slight permanent scowl, whereas Jolie’s curve into a slight smile, and Fontaine’s face is a little sharper and more angular, but for the most part when I draw Fontaine, using Jolie is pretty much the only option, which keeps the connection firmly in place.
I suppose the upshot is that, being a lazy failure, I’m unlikely to do much with Fontaine anyway, and thus the accusations of being derivative will never materialize…
As I type this I’m now back into my regular time off.
I didn’t do much with my extra days off.
This morning I got up, went for a walk, then came home and called my mother to wish her a happy Mother’s Day (I hope you all remembered your moms today).
I talked to her for a couple of minutes, then she got a beep and asked if she could call me back, as it was my brother calling and she chose to blow me off to talk to him.
Shortly after my mother (eventually) called back, Kathleen called to inform me that she had gone on a couple of calls with the fire department this morning which had resulted in blisters on her feet, so she was not interested in going shopping today, as that would involve walking.
So left to my own devices I headed out into the world to pick up a few things on my own.
Let me just say this: going to Wal-Mart on a Sunday morning? That won’t piss you off.
While there I did manage to pick up a new blender, but I wasn’t able to find new shoes.
I decided to check out Target, and failed to find shoes there as well.
I don’t understand the appeal of Target. Basically they just sell the same crap as Wal-Mart, but they charge more for it. Presumably the fact that the charge more makes people thing that it’s higher quality, even though it’s exactly the same stuff that can be found at Wal-Mart.
So then I came home and went for another walk.
After I got home, “Zalfiro” called and we talked for a while.
Based on his suggestion, I went online to find the shoes I was looking for.
In case you’re wondering what these mystery shoes are, let me answer that by first prefacing my answer by saying that I freely admit that I am a dork.
In “Sin City,” both the movies and the comics, the character of Dwight wears a pair of prominently displayed Converse classic high tops (As does Wallace, the protagonist of the Sin City yarn “To Hell and Back.”).
So I wanted a pair, or at least a reasonable facsimile thereof because if I have a pair I will be just as cool as Dwight and Wallace.
That’s the way it works, right?
Right?
Okay, so maybe it doesn’t work that way, but either way, that’s what I wanted.
In any case, I found a pair (a bargain at $40) on the Converse Web Site and ordered them.
So in 2 to 3 business days I will be a bad-ass, slightly unhinged noir tough guy.
Or, you know, a dork with cool shoes.
In any case, I may be back later with more, but for now I need to start preparing for “Animation Domination” on Fox.
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