Not Exactly "Aromatherapy," Siesta Time, Still Nail-able, And Freaks-I Mean, Fans...

There is a very large system of trails threaded throughout the neighborhoods of Ashburn, and there are various rest stops, playgrounds, and places of interest interspersed along the assorted paths I walk, most of which have names like “Turtle Glen,” or “Oaktree Grove.”
In my head, though, I’ve named pretty much the entire system of trails “Dogshit Alley.”
Much of the foot traffic that the trails see is of the four-footed variety, and despite the presence of some shade trees intended to create the illusion of walking through the wilderness, most of the trails cut through back yards, back yards belonging to a considerable number of dog owners.
I don’t mean to suggest that walking the trails is akin to walking a minefield, as most of the people who take their best friends out for walks are considerate enough to clean up after them, so it is safe to walk with impunity, but the scent does hang rather heavily in the air, so it can be something of an olfactory minefield. This is in large part because people do (or maybe I should say “do do”) pick up after their dogs, depositing the canine care packages in the numerous receptacles set alongside the trails primarily for that purpose.
Said receptacles get a lot of use and a lot of exposure to the rays of the sun, which helps their contents to ripen.
While this may result in a sort of over stimulating bliss brought on by scents both familiar (“Hey! I know that ass!”) and unfamiliar (“Whoa, check out that one! That’s an ass I can’t wait to sniff in person!”) for dogs, who tend not to care so much about whether or not things smell good as long as they smell a lot, for humans, it doesn’t bring on a feeling of ecstasy so much as a feeling of nausea.
Of course, like anything, over time you become desensitized to it.
I’m hoping that happens soon.
Sorry to get off to such a gross start today, but during the walk today it was especially overpowering.
Not much is actually new or interesting so far. Going for a walk has pretty much been the only thing I’ve done for the day.
One thing I have come to notice in all the time spent walking, both this year, and in previous years, is that Ashburn sinks a serious a mount of money into lawn care and landscaping, so when I walk the trails I’m usually trying to make my way around people who are busy mowing or weed-whacking (I said “whacking”), or engaged in some other cultivation of the greenery (having to avoid the water truck that drives along shooting out jets of water is especially irritating). Today, though, my timing was such that I was avoiding stepping on the landscaping guys as they took in a siesta in the shade.
It was kind of funny seeing all of these Hispanic guys who had just dropped down wherever they happened to be, hats pulled down over their faces as they dozed, and I couldn’t help but think that Scott should institute a siesta time for us at work. After all, in that dark, windowless dungeon it’s not as though we’d have to go out in search of shade, and I can just picture us all leaned back in our chairs, feet up on the desk, mouths hanging open, taking a little time out to rejuvenate ourselves in preparation for what remains of our day…
Of course, I can also picture a VP walking through and seeing this, followed by security escorting us all out of the building…
On Monday night I set the DVR to record “Hercules” on NBC, and last night I watched it.
…
About all that I took away from watching it was the reinforcement of the fact that Leelee Sobieski is sort of weird-looking but given the opportunity I would still totally nail her.
In any case, the movie had begun its life as a mini-series, but NBC pared an hour and aired it as a three-hour movie on one night.
I can only imagine how much more boring it would have been with an additional hour.
The story was bad, the acting was worse, and the effects and fight scenes were some of the absolute worst I’ve seen in recent memory.
Overall, I’d have to say that the Lou Ferrigno movie was better than this confused and pointless undertaking.
You can tell that it was originally intended to be some kind of star-studded epic event, but somewhere along the line it lost its way…apparently along with the stars that were supposed to stud it, as Ms. Sobieski, former James Bond Timothy Dalton, LOTR’s Sean Astin, and former Wilma Flintstone Elizabeth Perkins were the biggest “stars” in it.
As for the “losing its way” element, I think that basically NBC decided, “Yeah, this is gonna suck,” and pulled most of its funding, but had spend enough that they figured they were obligated to air it.
That’s my guess, anyway.
I was a little annoyed by the way they played fast and loose with the existing mythology, even though the Kevin Sorbo TV series played very fast and loose with it, and yet I actually used to enjoy that.
Of course, the TV series had a sense of humor and an irreverent charm that made up for its shortcomings in that area, whereas this piece of crap had nothing going for it beyond the numerous near-nude scenes featuring the aforementioned weird-looking Leelee Sobieski, whom, again, as mentioned, I would nail in spite of how weird-looking she is…
In any case, by contrast, tonight’s viewing of “Revenge of the Sith” should be considerably more entertaining.
Given that it is a midnight showing of the movie, I’m sure there will be lots of people there in costume. I figure on bringing my camera to take pictures of some of the more entertaining losers…I mean, freaks – no! – ummm... I mean fans. Yeah, that’s the charitable term for the dorks. Fans.
Honestly, I shouldn’t make fun (though that doesn’t mean that I won’t). After all, I can’t help but envy people, at least a little, who actually have something in their lives that they care that much about.
Also, as dorky and freakish as they may be, the odds are that even some dumbass who shows up the movie dressed as Jar Jar may actually have a sex life beyond the “Hand Solo” (props to Kathleen on that one), which would put him one up on me and my snide condescension.
And even if he doesn’t have one, he’s still no worse off than I am...except for, you know, looking like a complete tool.
In any case, my next entry is likely to be a post-Sith review, either written extremely late at night/early in the morning, or sometime tomorrow before I turn in to prepare for my early Friday morning.