Uneventful Day or Destroy Her Career Now!

Today proved to be about as uneventful as a day as they come.
I took a shower, got dressed, went out and bought some groceries, and was home long before my hair even dried.
I spent the afternoon reading the last of the Chick tracts and reviews before making dinner and settling in to watch TV for the evening, as Wednesday nights are the nights I actually watch the most TV (Simpsons at 6 and 6:30, Law & Order [reruns on TNT], Smallville, Mythbusters, and Law & Order [new on NBC] ).
(This is totally neither here nor there, but right now “The Daily Show” is on, and I just realized that actor Alan Cumming strongly resembles Andrew Ridgely, the “other guy” from Wham!)
(As another aside, for those of you interested, the trailer for the movie version of “The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy” is available for viewing on Amazon.com)
After finishing up with the Chick tracts I read some additional material at the site that had the links and reviews and found a (sort of) transcript of a couple of audio cassettes featuring Chick himself interviewing a woman named Rebecca Brown and her…I don’t know what you’d call her, but her name was Elaine. Rebecca was a former doctor who lost her license to practice medicine, but that’s okay, because God never closes one door without opening another (though frequently that other door leads to the Lake of Fire), and with the assistance of Elaine, a former witch and apparently the ex-Mrs. Satan, Rebecca found a new career as Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
Well, sort of. She and Elaine decided to make use of their experiences with the occult to help alert the masses (mostly via Chick tracts) to the dangers of things like rock music, D & D, Wicca, and pretty much everything that Chick tracts were already warning against.
Reading through this interview made it clear just how much of a nutjob Chick really is, as he seemed to quite honestly believe everything he was told about the supernatural world Rebecca and Elaine described, a world in which Satanic priest can own your soul after drinking a thimbleful of your blood, and in which Satan himself once took physical form in order to rough up Elaine.
At one point Elaine even describes how she and several of her fellow witches were astral projecting themselves into the home of one of their deadliest enemies in order to wreak some havoc, but alas, they were turned away by an army of Angels guarding the house.
It’s soon revealed that this house, with its Heavenly security system that puts ADP to shame, belonged to none other than Jack T. Chick!
By the way, in true Chick fashion, his guardian Angels actually tried to get Elaine, in her astral form, to accept Jesus Christ as her personal savior.
What I found myself unable to believe is just how gullible Chick really is...so long as someone is telling him something that he wants to hear.
It was incredibly revelatory that in the course of the conversation Chick decried psychics and mind-readers. However, he wasn’t decrying them as frauds, but as Satanists who actually commune with demons in order to ply their trade rather than relying on leading questions and proven psychological tactics used by scam artists the world over.
I was just stunned by the whole thing. Still, I guess it’s not that much of a stretch to go from believing in a faceless giant sitting on a throne in the sky waiting for his chance to say “Depart from me, ye cursed, into everlasting fire, prepared for the devil and his angels, “ which he seems to say much more frequently than “Well done, thou good and faithful servant,” to believing that there are real witches who can move things with the power of their minds (and the demons inside them, of course).
I know that at least some of you are too offended/irritated by Chick to share my enthusiasm/morbid fascination for him and his work, but I think everyone can get a good laugh out of the Rebecca Brown interview. Check it out here.
On a topic that’s pretty far removed from Jack T. Chick, yesterday when I got my issue of “Playboy” in the mail I discovered that former teen queen Debbie Gibson has followed in the footsteps of her former rival Tiffany and has posed nude for Playboy.
As for how she actually looked…she looked okay. She’s aged fairly well, but she was never all that much to look at in the first place (for her part, Tiffany actually looked very good in her pictorial, much better than she had looked when she was still successful).
But how she looked (or how Tiffany looked for that matter) isn’t really what’s significant about this event.
No, there is actually something much more important to be learned from this other than how Debbie Gibson looks without her clothes.
What is the lesson? That starting right now everyone everywhere has to stop buying any albums that Britney Spears releases and work to ensure that every project she’s involved with fails miserably so that in ten years (ideally sooner, but that would require putting out a lot of effort to ensure that her career tanks immediately) she’ll have no other option than to try (just as unsuccessfully as Tiffany did, and Debbie will) to revitalize her career.
You might also start working on wrecking Lindsay Lohan’s career while you’re at it…
In response to the e-mail I got from Wendy I wanted to write a little more about female fandom, and women in comics in general, and also about my own lack of involvement with the convention scene. However, it’s getting late and I’ve probably babbled more than enough today, so I guess we’ll leave that for another time.