For close to ten years now I’ve been on something of a streak.
It’s not exactly what you’d call a winning streak.
Not for me, at least.
This streak has, however, paid off pretty well for several other people.
So what is this streak I’ve been having?
I’ve been getting women married.
So far from what I’ve seen there seems to be a direct correlation between whether or not I’m attracted to a woman and whether or not she gets married.
Actually, that’s incorrectly stated, as my lack of attraction isn’t necessarily enough to keep a woman from getting married.
The presence of an attraction on my part, though, pretty much guarantees that the woman I’m attracted to will get married.
Sure, maybe it would have happened eventually anyway, but at the very least it seems that the addition of my attraction speeds up the process, acting like a sort of catalyst.
To date, at least in those cases where I haven’t completely lost track of her, every woman I’ve felt more than a passing attraction to in the past ten years has gotten married, or at the very least gotten engaged, and/or had a child (not mine).
That even includes my ex-wife, who was fortunate enough to find her future husband and father of her child while we were still married.
If I hadn’t fallen in love with her and married her, who knows how long she might have had to have waited in order to get married to someone else and had a child? Good thing I was there to be the catalyst for making her marriage happen!
I inadvertently stumbled onto the evidence of my latest matchmaking success this past Friday.
Longtime Threshold readers will remember my references to “Flame Chick,” a very attractive young woman at work who, due to the circumstances of work, I’d been unable to approach in any meaningful fashion.
I’d recently learned that, apart from the other difficulties, a vast chasm separated us: she is a rabid sports fan. The French may say “vive le difference!” but they don’t really mean it, and no one in this country cares what the French think anyway.
So in this case the difference, an overwhelming interest in sports, is unacceptable and an insurmountable obstacle.
Still, while I knew that nothing could come of it, there was no harm in just looking…
While looking a couple of weeks ago I noticed a ring that hadn’t been there before. This past Friday I overheard a snippet of conversation in which she said, “Well, I have a dress, now he just needs…” and I didn’t catch the rest.
So yeah, looks like I’ve made another match, and my streak continues.
Ladies, if you’re out there looking for a man, all you have to do is catch my eye.
Don’t worry; you won’t be stuck with me, as capturing my attention will guarantee that you capture someone else’s…
In Tucson I had a friend who stated that most of the women he'd ever been attracted to had ended up suffering some major injuries (no, he wasn't responsible for their injuries), so, at least if I'm not feeling sociopathic, I guess my streak is better than his.
Last night when I was chatting with Wendy I got up at one point and walked over to my dining room table. When I got to the table I was fully expecting to find an open pack of cigarettes, a lighter, and an ashtray.
Imagine my surprise when I didn’t.
Further, imagine my surprise when I realized what I was doing.
In a little under three months it’ll be a year since I quit smoking, yet I still find myself engaging in some of the old habits (except for the actual habit itself).
Sunday night’s episode of “Law & Order: Criminal Intent” once again drew its story from the headlines, this time from the allegations made by actress Jeri Ryan about her ex-husband Jack dragging her against her will into a “sex club.” Said allegations destroyed his political aspirations.
They also did an interesting bit of casting, as part of the story involved a man who was very much like the famous publisher of a certain men’s magazine.
The interesting part was that the role of “Hef” was played by actor/director Peter Bogdanovich, a man who used to be friends with real deal.
The friendship soured, though, after Bogdanovich became involved with doomed Playmate Dorothy Stratten who was murdered by her abusive husband.
In an article about Stratten (which formed the basis for the film “Star 80”), Bogdanovich and Hef were both held to be as accountable for Stratten’s death as her crazed husband had been. Bogdanovich responded by writing his own book, in which he fobbed the blame off onto Hef alone.
Not surprisingly, his portrayal of the Hef character on L & O was considerably less than flattering.
Anyway, I found it interesting to watch him portray Hef as a sniveling old degenerate clinging to the last pitiful vestiges of a hedonistic lifestyle that’s left him little more than a pathetic joke…albeit a pathetic joke constantly surrounded by smoking hot babes.
But, you know, even if he is having nightly orgies with some of the most beautiful women in the world, he’s still pathetic, because…umm…well…
*Sigh*
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