Friday, February 08, 2013

At The Very Least, Apologize

So some of you are, at some point between now and March 23rd, going to like, share/reshare, or in some other fashion pollute Facebook with a breathless warning about how, thanks to “Obamacare,” everyone is going to be forced to have a microchip implanted in their hands that will allow the government to track their every move and completely control their lives.
Some of you will also fill the inboxes of your friends and family with a forwarded e-mail warning.
I have a simple request:  don’t.
Just don’t fucking do it.
At all.
Don’t even think about doing it.
Have yourself a moment of clarity and realize, “You know, this sounds like total bullshit.  Maybe I shouldn’t pass it along.”
At a minimum, if you really feel as though it must be true because, well, because reasons, and you absolutely have to warn everyone about how this astonishing technological breakthrough that could revolutionize communications – think about it; if it exists, it’s a tiny, device that can wirelessly transmit and receive data in a way that’s infinitely more efficient and effective than the best smartphone currently on the market and does not require a bulky battery – is being used to monitor people and control their lives instead of being incorporated into thinner, lighter iPads, when March 24th rolls around and your hand, and the hand of everyone you know, remains chip-free, you need to apologize for the false alarm.
Honestly, if I’m giving you the benefit of the doubt and assuming that you legitimately want to warn people about something that you feel is an actual, imminent danger because you are or want to be a decent person, then you should similarly be a decent enough person to admit that you made a mistake.
By that same token, if, come March 24th, I’m idly scratching away at the injection site reaction on my hand where the chip was implanted, I will feel compelled to say “My bad.”

The Highlights for Children version.

(For more discussion of this subject, head on over to Slacktivist.)

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