Saturday, July 30, 2011

Saturday Departments

Under Your Spell Department:
And I'm full of love
And I'm full of wonder
And I'm full of love
And I'm falling under
Your spell


- Nick Cave, Spell

Oh, wait.  Wrong kind of spell; the name of this Department was supposed to be a pun based on spelling, as in the spelling of words.
And its actual content is supposed to be a (legitimate, non-snarky) question posed for people who can't
Spell words, that is.
I mean, i know that everyone makes mistakes; my spelling ability, even after years of spellcheck abuse, is above average, but we all make mistakes and have words that, for some reason, we just can't remember how to spell.
My question is for people who routinely and consistently misspell, well, almost everything, and that question is, given your inability to spell, do you actually recognize the words you misspell when you see them spelled correctly?
For example, I see the word "definitely" misspelled as "defiantly" a lot, particularly online.  I understand why that is; the person in question is trying to spell it "definatly," which is not a word, and autocorrect is turning it into "defiantly," which is a word, albeit the wrong one.
So does that person see the word "definitely" and know that it's the correct spelling of their made-up spelling "definatly," or is there no understanding of the word whatsoever?  And if they do recognize it as the correct spelling, is there a particular reason, apart from habit, that they will continue to stick with "definatly," definitely defiantly refusing to bow to convention?
I'm not trying to be a smug, condescending prick* or anything, I am genuinely curious.  So, bad spellers of the world, leave a (poorly-spelled**) comment to let me know if you have any insight.

The Eternal Struggle Department:
(I had to write up a performance evaluation of my intern (Spoiler:  He did a great job.) the other day, and, given that I've never had to fill out a performance evaluation on anyone before, I decided to run it past my boss before revieing it with the intern and submitting it to HR.)
Boss:  I think it looks good, but just make those few changes to soften it a little.
Me:  Okay.  I mean, there's:  he did a great job.  I just thought those couple of areas that he needs to work on needed to be mentioned.
Boss:  They do, but the way they're worded will confuse the stupi- the people reading it, and they'll totally miss the fact that you were saying overwhelmingly positive things about him.
Boss:  You're like me; you prefer to be direct and blunt.  Most people can't deal with that.
Me:  Yeah.  Foolish humans and their precious "feelings."
Boss:  Tell me about it.  It's the thing you and I have to struggle with every day.

Also In That Conversation Department:
Boss:  You know me; if I could get away with it, my evaluations would consist of "He fucking rocked," if the person did a good job, or "He fucking sucked" otherwise.

The Whatever The Hell It Is They Do Department:
I often humorously*** refer to my job as "Whatever the hell it is I do," but as things stand after the reorg, that appears to be the actual official description of our group, as no one is quite sure what are responsibilities are or what those responsibilities entail...

Car Accident Update Department:
The other driver's insurance company has accepted liability, so even though I ended up going through my insurance company in order to get the repairs done, it shouldn't cost me anything out-of-pocket, and my rate shouldn't go up.
Unfortunately that means going through one of their certified repair shops, which means that I can't even get the damage inspected until Monday.

*I'm not trying; it just comes naturally.
**See?
***I find it humorous, at any rate.

2 comments:

Merlin T Wizard said...

Stacy kneads two common t own 'tis won!!!1!!WON!!

Heimdall said...

Yeah, but she won't - filling out the word verification is too onerous a task.
Which is kind of ironic, given that it's usually just a random collection of letters that don't actually spell anything, so it should be right up a bad speller's alley...