Dear Tree In My Front Yard,
How the hell many dead branches do you have? Every time I mow I find that you've deposited a brand new collection of them on the ground.
I know that with the recent near-continuous rainfall we've had you've been growing like weeds. And I don't just mean the weed part of you, but all of you.
However, given the amount of moisture that the soil is retaining, mowing is virtually impossible for anyone short of Jesus. Seriously, it's like trying to mow seaweed. Please stop growing until after the ground dries up enough that I can walk on it without fear of drowning.