I Want You To...Want To Do Stuff

Me: Should I draw?
Also Me: Nah.
Me: Why not?
Also Me: You don't really want to.
Me: Yeah, I guess I'm right.
Me: Should I write a blog entry?
Also Me: Nope.
Me: I don't want to?
Also Me: You've - or rather, I've - got it.
Me: Well, what do I want to do?
Also Me: I don't know, sleep?
Me: No, I did that already.
Also Me: Well then don't do anything.
Me: I've got to do something.
Also Me: Like what?
Me: I don't know. Something. There's got to be something I want to do.
Also Me: Hmm...nope.
Me: I don't want to do anything?
Also Me: Well, you- I- whoever - want to want to do stuff. Does that count?
Me: I don't think so.
Also Me: Ah, but do I care?
Me: Well, I want to care, or rather, I want to want to care...

Keyword Kraziness: What More Kould I Say Edition

cell phone genie grannies sexy wish movie

Clubs That Will have Me As A Member

First of all, happy birthday to Scott, who today joins the mid-thirties club.
I have to say, as far as clubs go, it's not all that great.
Still, I can't really recommend that he follow my example and quit that club in order to join the late-thirties club, as it pretty much blows as well.
A few weeks back I saw a shirt with this image of the women of the DC Universe on it...



...and bought it for Scott as one of his birthday presents.
I needed to get him something else, but couldn't decide on what it should be, so the other day I gave him the option of letting me buy him X-Men Origins: Wolverine on Blu-ray, or to meet me at the comic shop on Wednesday to pick out some trades or a statue or something.
I gave him this option with the caveat that I needed to stop at the comic shop on Wednesday anyway to pick up some more bags and boards.
So he opted for the comic shop, and decided on the trade collections of The Sinestro Corps War, as he'd heard good things about it from many people (myself included).
While we were there I picked up my pile of comics for the week and 600 bags and boards, which we stuffed during Riff Trax night.
I still have a full longbox worth of comics to bag and board, as well as several small stacks.
I don't actually have enough boxes for them all, but I'm not inclined to buy more, as I plan to eventually replace all of my standard longboxes with these.
There are actually rather a lot of comics in the piles that aren't in great shape and probably aren't worth preserving. I don't know if I'm going to just toss them, or if I'll follow the suggestion of Dr. Scott of Polite Dissent and give them away - along with candy - to tirck-or-treaters on Halloween.
On the one hand, I might be able to help hook another generation on comics, but on the other hand, throwing them away is easier.
Well, physically easier. Emotionally...well, it's hard to part with things that you love.
Other than that not much has been going on. Working, not getting enough sleep, choking on rage while stuck in traffic, etc.

MY RESPONSIBLE THIS

There's so much that's come out of the whole WHOSE RESPONSIBLE THIS thing that's meme-worthy, such as the assorted additional incohrent responses that have come from Brickehousebunny21 in reaction to his Internet fame.
For example, there's the threat of "banning us for life" from...something (The furry fan fiction site his story was posted on? The Internet?), that he recently made over at Topless Robot:

Everyone here is in trouble now, I just sent a message to a site mod from
Yiffstar and if this site doesn't delete all traces of this story or if anyone
here doesn't get rid of this little joke they've made out of this story in three
days, everyone here will be banned for life just like I've warned everyone else
here like before, don't bother trying to lie to the site mods to save your own
skins because the site mods are on my side and there's nothing you can do about
it, they've already found out who Rob Bricken is and they're on my side as we
speak, they agreed in three days time everyone here will be banned if the big
boss behind all this doesn't get rid of all traces of this little joke they've
posted, this is your last warning, I've warned you all but you didn't listen,
deleting any evidance won't do you any good either, I've shown every piece of
evidance to the site mods and it's all over for everyone here and Rob Bricken,
if everyone here doesn't follow the warning and get rid of this in three days,
than judgement day will come for everyone here and Rob Bricken, even if you had
nothing to do with it, I don't care and the mods agree with me, you have three
days and if this isn't gone when I get back, the mods will ban everyone here,
even making all the bad comments won't do you any good. You all have three days
or else.

You go, Brickehousebunny21. You'll get us all banned someday. That'll show us all that we responsible this.
In any case, so many people have put together great images based on his initial rant, and I'm a bit late to the party, so I decided to focus on one of the more charming misspellings from his most recent response.
Thus, I present to you The Evidance:

It's Only Tuesday

The Universe: Jon? Hey buddy, hey pal...WAKE THE HELL UP!
Me: *Snort* What? What the hell do you want?
The Universe: It's time to get up for work.
Me: Ick.
The Universe: Oh come on, at least it's not Monday.
Me: Yeah, but it's still only Tuesday. Can't it at least be Wednesday?
The Universe: Afraid not.
Me: Come on, you could make that happen.
The Universe: Yeah, I suppose I could.
Me: So do it. As a favor for me.
The Universe: Hmm...okay...maybe I could...no.
Me: Fine, see if I ever do you a favor.
The Universe: Pfft, like you could.
Me: Asshole.
The Universe: What was that?
Me: Nothing.
******
Me: What the hell? I thought it was Tuesday.
The Universe: It is.
Me: Then why is traffic backed up like it's Wednesday?
The Universe: Didn't you want it to be Wednesday? I made it like it was Wednesday, without it actually being Wednesday.
Me: Asshole.
The Universe: What was that?
Me: You heard me!
******
The Universe: Ick, back-to-back meetings until noon, huh?
Me: Yeah.
The Universe: Well, at least the 11:00 one should be short.
Me: Yeah, that's true at - wait, what do you mean by that?
The Universe: Nothing. Sheesh, you're so paranoid. I'm just saying it won't last too long. Not too many people, and not a lot to talk about.
Me: Uh huh.
The Universe: Honest! It'll be a short meeting.
Me: You're up to something.
The Universe: So what if I am? What are you going to do about it?
Me: *Sigh*
The Universe: Yeah, that's what I thought.
******
The Universe: See, the 11:00 one was short.
Me: Yeah, but the 10:00 one ran long, making me late for the 11:00 one, and was still going on when I finished with the 11:00 so I had to go back to it for another hour!
The Universe: But at least it was productive.
Me: No! It wasn't! It was the opposite of that! And now we have to meet again for at least another hour tomorrow at 9:00.
The Universe: See? Stuff is getting done!
Me: Are you an idiot? I just told you -
The Universe: Yep, stuff getting done. Questions getting answered.
Me: Yes, with a different answer each time the question is asked.
The Universe: It makes life interesting.
Me: Ass-
The Universe: You sure you want to go there?
Me: *Sigh*

Tension-Breaking F-Bomb Ahead

*Ahem*
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!
That is all.

WHOSE RESPONSIBLE THIS

Just doing my part to ensure the propagation of the following meme:

WHOSE RESPONSIBLE THIS

The Unavoidable Pun

So I woke up this morning feeling ambitious -
Okay, that's a lie. I didn't feel the least bit ambitious.
However, I'd made up my mind that I was going to get a lot of shit done, so, despite my lack of ambition, I set about getting said shit done pretty early on.
I started off by finishing up mowing the side yard. My lawn was so overgrown that I kept using up the charge in my mower's battery just trying to cut the grass in the front and side yesterday afternoon - under conditions of less unrestrained growth the battery usually lasts long enough to mow the entire yard, with electricity to spare - and eventually ran out of daylight before I could get it charged enough to finish the remaining patch of grass.
So, with the mower fully-charged this morning, I finished up the side yard, put the laundry going, and set about mowing the backyard, which was even more overgrown than the front and side, and quickly burned up a full night's charge.
Leaving the mower charging, I got to work on the primary task of the day: cleaning the house.
I started out in the master bathroom and made my way outward from there, dusting and vacuuming the entire upstairs, clearing out a lot of junk I don't need any more, and getting at least a start on organizing my comics (more on that in a bit).
This took forever, in part because I had to stop to finish mowing the lawn, fold and put away the laundry, and try to squeeze in some kind of lunch.
Eventually I made my way downstairs - after even vacuuming the stairs - and finally making my way to the kitchen. I finally got around to taking down the light fixture and cleaning it out, finally removing the corpse of the dead cricket that had probably been there since before I even moved into the house.
It had been my intention to break out the steam cleaner on the carpet downstairs, but by the time I was ready for that - and here I must pause to apologize, but the pun is truly unavoidable - I had run out of steam.
Still, I'd given the place a good, thorough cleaming. I didn't wash the windows, but I did open them all up to let in some fresh air to help with the overall feeling of cleanness.
Originally I'd planned to also do some additional yard work beyond the mowing, but I had realized last night that I'd probably be biting off more than I could chew, so that work, like the carpet cleaning, will be a project for another time.
Even though the house is mostly clean - with the exceptions of the windows and the un-steamed carpet - I've come to realize that, for me at least, it's impossible to get everything perfectly clean. And it's not like I did a half-assed job, or that I don't know what I'm doing - I used to clean for a living, after all - it's just that the being at least slightly dirty seems to be the natural state of things. No matter what you do, there will always be dust, for example. I have to admit that the thought that most of the dust in the house is skin kind of grosses me out, though not as much as the thought that not all of it is my skin.
And in the kitchen I swept the floor, vacuumed it, swept it again, and mopped it, and yet as I walk across it barefoot there are still random, unidentifiable hard bits of crud digging into my soles.
So why did I bother with this again? Oh, right, to impress Scott, just because when he was last here I commented on my shame about what a mess this place was and he told me that I didn't have to impress him. Well, you'd better be impressed now, dammit, whether you need to be or not.
Speaking of Scott, a while back, looking at the disorganized piles of comics threatening to fill up the room I call the library, he'd suggested that I get a bunch of bags and boards so that he and I could pass the time on Riff Trax nights bagging and boarding the comics rather than stuffing our faces with snacks.
(I submit that we're talented enough to do both)
So, taking the bags and boards I had on hand, we set to the task last Wednesday. Yesterday when I stopped at the comic shop I bought a few hundred more bags and boards - which is not nearly enough - and I did some bagging and boarding yesterday and today.
In any case, while were bagging and boarding on Wednesday I commented on how it was only one part of what needs to be done, as they still need to be organized, archived, and entered into my database.
While I appreciate Scott's efforts in helping me with the task, there's a question that naturally arises: Can't someone else do it?
I mean, seriously, I just want to read comics and then keep them afterwards, I don't want to organize, index, and archive them.
I'm sure I could probably hire someone to do it, but I don't want to spend money, either.
I suggested to Scott that maybe I should use OK Cupid to try to find someone who will organize my comics for me rather than trying to find a date.
I should change my self-summary to say "You don't have to be my girlfriend, I just want you to organize my comics for me."
I mean, it's win-win; I get someone to organize and archive my comics, and the woman gets a reason to get out of her house for a while. She wouldn't even have to feign interest in me in order to spare my feelings, or have to worry about being seen in public with me.
Honestly, I'd probably have better luck with finding someone to do that than finding someone to be my girlfriend with the way OK Cupid's been "working" for me.
For as much as I'm accused of being too picky, the fact of the matter is that age - and desperation - has broadened the range of what I consider physically attractive by a wide margin, and even when I was younger the range was already pretty broad.
And yet despite that the number of "matches" OK Cupid finds for me still manage to fall outside that range. It's kind of uncanny.
The weirdest thing is that the photos of most of the matches, who are women in their thirties now, look like they're of women who were in their forties twenty or twenty-five years ago.
I mean, the pictures themselves look like scans of grainy Polariods taken sometime around 1982, but the hairstyles and the clothes the women are sporting look like they're circa that era as well.
It's baffling.
A while back I got an e-mail from OK Cupid with a map showing me where my best matches are located. Not only was Virginia not one of the states listed, but none of the three other states I've lived in made the list.
(Bonus question: What other three states has Jon lived in?)
The states listed aren't even geographically contiguous, and are scattered all about the country.
The map also showed where my best matches are worldwide. Top of the list? Israel.
I mean, sure, Israel is fine - Natalie Portman was born there, so that's a point in its favor (Yes, that Natalie Portman was born there is much more important to me than the widely-held belief that the Messiah was also born in that area) - and it's hardly as though I'm even slightly anti-Semitc (cf: Portman, Natalie and Johansson, Scarlett), but even so, Israel???
Oy vey.
I didn't do a whole lot in the way of organizing my comics today. In fact, I didn't do much to organize them at all, apart from separating out the ones that need to be bagged and boarded from the ones that already are.
When we ran out of bags and boards the other night I looked at the piles left and thought, "Oh, that's not so bad." Later I remembered that not all of the comics that are in boxes are actually bagged and boarded. Today I discovered that in addition to the multiple stacks outside of the boxes there are two and a quarter longboxes' worth of comics still needing to be bagged and boarded (and organized, and entered into my database).
I thought that the company that makes the comic book database program I use sold a bar code reader to help automate the process of inputting comics into the database, but it turns out that while they sell readers for most of their other database programs (book databases, movie databases, game databases), they don't have one for the comics program.
*Sigh*
In any case, that's pretty much all that's been going on.